Random Ramble of Stuff

I'm talking about my inspirations to tell stories, where I get my ideas, why I started...

Which is all author speak for 'Let me rant about stuff'.

So basically, I grew up playing Metal Gear and the like. When I was really young, I absolutely loved Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty. I mean, sweet Celestia that game is amazing even by the standards of this day and age. The cinematic hour–long cut scenes, the dialogue, the... Okay the twists are sorta predictable sometimes. But how many games can you count that (spoilers but c'mon it's super old and anyone who's going to play it already has.) beautifully states that it's a video game at the end of the game, but in a way that you don't feel like it was a crude attempt at humor but an actual, meaningful plot point?

So basically. I spent my five through eleven years playing Metal Gear Solid. I still have to play the older stuff one day. Then around eleven I started playing Oblivion but please, lets not get into that year or so of my life.

Then I found anime. But the issue is I hate most of it. Most anime is not very good in my opinion. But first anime I ever saw was Death Note. Which... Yeah best decision in the history of history. Well technically it was Spirited Away but I was like three and... Yeah. So after Death Note, I got into Naruto. ...I'm still waiting for it to end by the way, the filler is infuriating.

Then I had this deal where I got obsessed with Alvin and the Chipmunks, the old cartoons mostly. Which! Is what got me into fanfiction! I felt that the stories were not fleshed out and could go so much further and be amazing. That's when I realized I like drama and romance crap. Like, from the ages eleven to thirteen I was completely, hopelessly lost in who knows how many fanfics. But then I decided I could do it better than any of these idiots.

Sweet Celestia, I was so wrong. I wrote this incredibly long and horrible idea of Invader Zim meets Robin from the Teen Titans and I just wouldn't let the thing die. I almost went through a list of fanfic requirements. Danny Phantom? Check. Teen Titans? Check. RavenxBeastboy? Check. Etc. And somehow there was GirxMimi and OCxOC fit in there too, but lets not get into that. I dragged that stupid thing on for like... twenty five thousand words or something. Longest thing I've ever written, even to this day. (Though I'm getting better at that.)

And it was horrible. When I started writing it? I had no idea how sentences worked. I had no idea how paragraphs worked, I barely knew how to spell. I was a very stupid child. Very stupid. Then I started that stupid thing and after about a dozen chapters and no one reading it, I somehow managed to talk someone on there into tutoring my writing basically. Each chapter we'd try something new. And then I learned about paragraphs or capitalization, or why the whole POV switch was incredibly unprofessional and stupid, or how self inserting characters WITH YOUR ACTUAL NAME IS REALLY IMMATURE.

Did I get that last point across? I hope so.

But that was where I started! Everyone has this one embarrassing fic they started with, everyone has a self–insert–crappy–writing–with–no–grammar–or–anything story. But then we get to this point. After dragging ourselves through all that crap, we finally get to a point where we can read what we write and not cringe because it actually isn't horrible.

Though I still feel very uncomfortable with my writing, and I'm never utterly happy with it, but lets not go there.

So then I was shown Neon Genesis Evangelion—I watched it when I was fourteen(I know, lucky right?? It was also released the year of my birth! It's like... magical destiny stuff!). I didn't understand it at all. I watched it, I watched it again, I downloaded The End of Evangelion and watched it too, then the new ones. And for the life of me, I never really understood it. Then earlier this year, I was watching EoE again for some reason, and I understood it. I understood that through all the pain and all that crap, the main message of the movie was happiness. That even though it appears to have an utterly depressing looking ending, it was actually a very happy ending. It showed Shinji finally growing up a little and accepting that while people can hurt you, that loving another is bloody dangerous and awful, it was still an important part of life you couldn't escape, something I'm still struggling with, something that everyone struggles with to a degree.

That, added to MLP is why I actually got out of my shell and originally made friends. Yeah. I had no friends until I was like... fourteen or something. I suck at life, I regret having little to no actual childhood, but whatever.

Then I met the guy who got me into ponies! I owe him so much, even though we don't really talk anymore. He shoved ponies at me and wouldn't let me run. Then he shoved all the horrible things from pone like Cupcakes, Smile and Sweet Apple Massacre at me and... Yeah. We are both pretty messed up. But like... I joined the fandom a year after the show started, right after the end of season two. But I just found such beauty and potential in this show about ponies, and I've always preferred cartoons and I'd always had a weird thing about Care Bears? So I was cool with it.

But now this is getting way too long, so I'ma go now. Maybe next time I'll rant about FoE and PH and their affect on me. Not that anyone likely cares about this, but I do ever so love the sound of my own voice—well love the sight of my own text.

~S