Random thoughts (about Fallout Equestria) 2015.12.9

Hello all, just writing random things here.

Recently I got back to playing Civ 5 for some reason. So much to the point that I played like 12 hour straight till morning before a finals I had. What that game appeals to me is the several pony mods that you could build civilizations with and wage war against other ponies. In fact I've never played the actual game modes.

Yesterday I played with the Fallout Equestria mods. It was quite cool and reminds me of how I used to love FoE.

I mean, I still like it, in fact it is one of the only book I have read and remember in the past 4/5 years. Reminds me of how long it has been since then.

And recently, the only other FoE spin off I've read, Project Horizons, have finally finished. I haven't been following it for the past few years since I've gotten busy, but I feel really sad to hear that because, I've always thought that book will never stop. You can keep reading on and on and on; I've spent 5/6 days non stop reading at one point. And now, it's ending signifies a chapter of my life has ended, so to speak, and it hits me hard on how much I'm used to waiting for things to come, waiting for myself to read the chapters, until one day, the thing is over. I really don't remember the details for me to continue, and I might want to start from the beginning again. But I'm not sure if I can. I… I really wish I could make something like that sometimes, something memorable, something people like, something I could feel proud of…

Have I ever told you that my first ever writing here was a FoE spin off? It's still here, on hiatus, forever forgotten by its terrible creator in the mist of abandoned fictions. It was FoE that got me hooked up with writing, that I believe in words and beautiful sentences and their power to create something incredible. I even wrote ponies in my school writing class' finals – that's how much I geeked about it. I loved its universe, it's character, the ponies, the cuteness mixed with wrenching grotesque and moral ambiguity, and I started to do something that I wasn't told to, something that is not beneficial to me, something that is arguably time-wasting. And then, I gave up. I stifled myself with too many ideas and making the sentences sound good (maybe they do need work), I stare at a blank document and feel uneasy, wishing I could watch YouTube or play games instead. Eventually, I lost the interest or got drown out by other things, and I never got to it. That's why nothing I've done is finished. Nothing I have done is finished.

Should I, do something FoE related? It's really not much of a question because I'm sure I won't be able to last through it. It's an awkward thing when people ask me to name a book I like, but still, even as I have forgotten most of the FoE universe, I kind of still like it. Do you… the very few readers of my blog, like FoE? Do you like my stories?

Do I?

Love,

Lutropin