Ok, Chapter 1 has had some edits made to it.

I've read The Editors Omnibus for EQD, a most helpful document indeed, and have edited the chapter. Grammar has been fixed up, dynamics have been changed (mainly at the beginning and the end), and an important lesson has been learned: Do not try to force out a fic at 2am and expect it to have good prose. I've also learned that taking a break from your rough work for a couple of days before revisiting it is actually normal, so I'm no longer going to stop myself from wanting to do it and am instead going to succumb to my most helpful instincts and take a 1-2 day break after typing up a new chapter before revisiting it to edit it.

For all who were wondering, Twilight is meant to sound a little over the top with her roboticness, and she will stop being such a Mary Sue shortly.

Thank you all for giving me thumbs up/tracks, I honestly didn't expect to get more than three maybe, haha. I'm going to make sure chapter 2 is properly planned out and less improvised, and hopefully much better.