Fact or Fiction by The Big Bad Borox: What It Lacks in Finesse, It Almost Makes Up For In Size and Sheer Complexity (Spoilers) · 9:06pm Aug 8th, 2015
This is a story that will certainly be of epic length upon completion. And it is an interesting read. The story has many original elements and deeply disturbed characters, and once you start reading it does pull you in. Maybe you have to force yourself to read the first half chapter or so, because there’s a lot of new ideas to digest, but once you get into the groove of things it’s easy to keep going. And because this story has so much at stake, it's only fair that I should warn you about the spoilers below.
Spoilers below.
Spoilers below.
You’re still reading. Fine.
Pea Gravel is a cyborg mare from the wild world beyond Equestria. Out there, ponies are definitely not the dominant race. Life is a constant struggle to not get eaten, and wars rage on forever. Against all odds Pea Gravel made a name for herself as a mercenary in this brutal world where ponies are mostly slaves or food.
The story proper begins with Pea Gravel traveling to Equestria with her nephew Tuff Boulder. In Ponyville she meets the Main Six and Daring Do. Daring Do quickly agrees to write Pea Grave’s biography, which sells very well at the Ponyville literary festival. For a time things are looking good, until Pea Gravel attracts the attention of Princess Celestia.
As it turns out, Celestia is not all benevolent. At first she intends to kill Pea Gravel, but a greater issue quickly arises: creatures from beyond Equestria are much closer than anyone had anticipated.
Celestia makes a deal with the chaos spirit Volm, Pea Gravel’s arch enemy, and decides that it would be in her best interest to send Pea Gravel away instead. Volm promises Pea Gravel that he will help her save her friends who are wandering the dangerous wasteland, and even to undo the damage he had done to Pea Gravel. Though Pea Gravel sets out alone, Rainbow Dash and Daring Do follow as stowaways. This nearly causes a disaster while crossing the Calm Belt (I don’t care what it’s actually called, it’s the Calm Belt), but they reach the outside world in one piece (heh? HEH?).
Over many weeks they gather Pea Gravel’s old crew one by one, fighting dangerous beasts and old enemies.
And that’s as simple a synopsis as I can write while keeping some semblance of coherence. There is a lot going on in this story, and there is enough text here that it doesn’t feel too cramped. There’s a big infodump when Pea Gravel meets Twilight, but it was not unnecessary (although I am surprised at how open Pea Gravel is with someone that she just met).
Having Rainbow Dash read the biography is a creative way to reveal Pea Gravel’s past in detail. I’m pleased that the author didn’t try to do this in pure flashback. With so many points of tension, cutting this part of Pea Gravel’s story into little bits would have been tiresome. Besides, Pea gravel does get her flashbacks, and they are conveniently placed to reveal the right things at the right time.
Violence is definitely a central element of this story, and here lies one of its weak points. There is copious amounts of violence, to the point that death is a trivial thing. The author is trying to tell us that the world outside Equestria is violent and brutal, and that Pea Gravel is a product of this reality, but when bloody deaths are shrugged off one after another you can’t help but wonder if the author really tried to cover all the bases.
By the end of what has been published so far, almost every encounter has ended with someone (it’s Pea Gravel) brutally killing someone else (pirates, snake people, several centaurs). There is so little variation in how conflicts are resolved that I find myself dreading each fight not because I fear for the characters but because I’ve already seen it many times. This world and the characters in it are designed for this kind of narrative, but I would not be losing much by skimming over every fight past the first harbour. The short glimpse of the Sea Kings (I won’t stop now, I read the whole One Piece Wiki just for this review!) had more impact than the later fights.
One death in particular is worth special attention. I get it, Pea Gravel is the ultimate badass, but why does that need to be established with her killing off somebody else’s archenemy? Yes, Ahuizotl is Pea Gravel’s first victim in Equestria. I know that this is supposed to reflect how deeply Pea Gravel cares about Daring Do, but why does everyone take it so well? There’s a reason villains like the Joker and Lex Luthor never die. They’re part of the hero. For me it was an unwelcomed imposition to have an outside force come out of nowhere and end a carefully-crafted pairing. Daring Do is essentially being hijacked here, and some readers will find this unappealing. Having said all that, there may be a plot point somewhere down the line where Ahuizotl returns in some form. It could happen, given everything that’s already happened (Ahem, Volm).
Spelling and grammar is an issue here. I suspect the author is using an AZERTY Keyboard based on the typos I’ve seen. A lot of grammatical errors are basic things like “of” and “off”, and they’re there and their that should have been picked out upon proofreading.
Overall, Fact or Fiction is a well-thought-out fantasy that could really benefit from a less ham-fisted, more artistic use of gratuitous violence.
Think cyborg super soldier Hannibal Lecter.
Wow...it's difficult to say how helpful and eye opening this is... First off, thanks you so much for the review and just reading my big ass story
It's amazing to get a second opinion on this. I'll try to fix up the issues you pointed out and well...'distribute' the violence. (Less from the cyber heroine)
So here's hoping for better chapters and more Finesse.
umm sounds interesting but ehhhh the main starting plot jus sounds childish no offense but its like trying to make a fallout without the fallout, changing Celestia's character is jus a big no no like a big fucking no no if you use a already made character you should not change who they are
3312201 Unless you alternate the universe. Anything could happen if you alternate the universe. So I'm not going to get too hung up over Celestia being "out of character".
Also, there's way more to Part 1 than the literary festival. Not all of it is good, but there's way more detail than I could include in a review.
3312296
im not saying its bad but still Tia is like a motherly goddess changing that is about like cupcakes or rainbow factory it can be good but it takes something special. and im guessing the reason tia wants to kill pea is because its considered the outlands and no one from there is allowed in her domain or something along those lines.
3312515 Close...you'll have to stay tuned to find out why
3460976 were is the link to the story i might read it
3461561 http://www.fimfiction.net/story/248149/fact-or-fiction
Happy Birthday
3462403 looks cool how often do you post eps and is there anything in the near future that will make you stop writing?
3463135 I post (roughly) on a weekly basis, sometimes longer depending on how much free time I get after classes. Off the top of my head there isn't any big events besides a week around Halloween where I wouldn't be able to write.