Clopfic OMG · 12:13am Jan 17th, 2012

"Alright Twilight, why are we here?" asked Trey, who's been in every OMG fic since I writes them.

"I'm going to make a clopfic and I want you to judge it."

"Who will be in your story?" asked Trey, hoping to be excluded while also hoping to be included.

"DickJumperMcSnookieMcCookieMcLovin'."

"Are you up to the task of writing one?" asked the pony version of Ron Jeremy.

"We shall see. WINGS AT THE READY!" yelled Rainbow Dash, allowing her sexual excitement to show in the form of expanding wings because females can't really show it much else other than voraciously attacking their man and doing things that will not be censored later in this story.

"Alright. This jumps right in to it and I'll work on the intro later. Now...

***

"Oh, DickJumperMcSnookieMcCookieMcLovin'!"

"Yes, my finest female fornication companion?"

"I have been commanding a thorough search in hopes that I may locate you. My sexual hormones have experienced a recent surge in activity and I wish to vanquish them temporarily. I have been notified through the form of rumors that you might be the best stallion to quelm my sexual hormones. I, therefore, accept the terms and conditions laid before me as the sole instigator of said sexual activity, and open myself to any sexual activity and fornication you wish to bestow upon me." she said, casting a loving glance of her irises towards his direction. She then raised her eyebrows in rapid succession, producing the intended effect of seduction.

"I have obtained knowledge of your advances and I do believe I shall be promiscuous with you. I shall exercise my amazing fornication skills with you and attempt to give you an emotional euphoria. Please follow me to my living quarters, where I practice homeostasis on a regular basis. I have a sleeping apparatus in said quarters that I believe will provide a suitably comfortable setting for our sexual activities."

The two of them trotted to his living quarters, making gratuitous amounts of physical contact on the way. DickJumperMcSnookieMcCookieMcLovin' Gently caressed her, forcing her into his sleeping apparatus. She exhaled heavily in the form of a laugh, and foreplay commenced. DickJumperMcSnookieMcCookieMcLovin's Organ of copulation become fully erect, which would later be necessary for the sexual activity and fornication they had planned to have. Twilight Sparkle looked at his fully erect organ of copulation and..."

***

"WAIT WAIT WAIT." yelled Rainbow Dash. "YOU'RE THE OTHER PONY?"

"Well duh. Haven't I expressed my sexual fantasies to you gals?"

"Nopony ever does that, Twilight."

"Everyone does." said Pinkie, slowly turning her head and breaking the fourth wall. "Even them."

"Who?"

"I WANNA FINISH MY STORY!!!"

"...fine."

***

Twilight Sparkle gently took his fully erect organ of copulation and slowly inserted it in her mouth, allowing her saliva to provide small amounts of lubrication whilst she imitated sexual intercourse in a different orifice. Her jaw become sore for a small amount of time, as she had never had any previous reason to create a large crevice with her mouth for any similar circumstances before. DickJumperMcSnookieMcCookieMcLovin offered to halt his advances, but Twilight Sparkle refused, insisting the the ratio of pain to pleasure was favorable for the circumstances. After half of an hour, Twilight insisted that their activities differ.

"Oh. I understand your pain. Let me attempt to recreate what you have given me." he spoke, removing his organ of copulation from her oral cavity. He then proceeded to flip her over, parting her legs and exposing her organ of copulation, which was at a moist state from the activities recently engaged in. He proceeded to make contact with it with his tongue, gently using it to imitate a vibrating apparatus, with a complete set of concentric, clockwise circles with an emphasis on her clitoris. After what appeared to be seconds to Twilight Sparkle, he raised himself, preparing his organ of copulation. Then, without much of a warning to Twilight Sparkle, he inserted his organ of copulation into her organ of copulation, a moist, tight crevice that proceeded to keep a hold on his organ of copulation as he gently inserted his organ of copulation, retracting and reinserting several times. Twilight Sparkle leaned her head back, allowing the soft state of DickJumperMcSnookieMcCookieMcLovin's pillow to support her head as she exhaled loudly, making several small, unintentional noises. She was experiencing a high level of sexual pleasure, and she could barely contain her pleasure as she made small, primal grunts in synchronization with his vigorous thrusting. Twilight Sparkle relocated her arms, placing them upon his back, making him locate closer to her, as she interlocked her arms, preventing him from leaving. She then realized that she was on the precipus of sexual ecstasy, and thrusted herself against him in the same manner that he thrust against her. Suddenly, her sexual ecstasy achieved its highest potential, as she experienced orgasm. Her orgasm was synchronized with his, as they both screamed out in sexual pleasure. Twilight Sparkle then felt a large swarm of hot, gelatinous substance fill her crevice. She assumed that it was semen, which he excreted during his orgasm.

He gently located his lips to hers, passionately kissing her before relocating himself beside her, quickly falling asleep due to the sudden surge of hormones. Twilight Sparkle looked over at DickJumperMcSnookieMcCookieMcLovin's sleeping body. Her sexual hormones had been slaked temporarily, but she used her best intellectual skills to determine that it would not be long before they acted up again. She soon fell asleep beside him, hoping that they would remain acquainted in future instances, so that they may promiscuously fornicate gratuitously under similar circumstances.

***

"Uh...was it just me or did the actual sex last like...2 seconds?" asked RD, her wingspan at full attention in lieu of a penis.

"Well it was my first time, give me a break." said Twilight.

"YOU LONELY DESOLATE SOUL" SAID TREY. STUPID CAPS LOCK.

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