Giving Chip the "talk"

Hiya everypony!

So I've been throwing this idea around my head as of late -- how would you, the reader introduce Chip into the world of emotions and intimacy in a friendly and understandable way?

You may use the Comment section to give your suggestions -- I'll teach Chip how to use the keyboard and he'll then (maybe) reply!

Comments

[The Mirage]

Yes

Just yes

[xPsychoShyx]

I don't see how it will end in any other way but awkward. So yes you should do it.

[Quantum_Shift]

Chip need to be intro'd to each of Twi's friends as a changeling and then have Fluttershy and Applejack explain the basics, then RD explaining the vulgarities and slang terms, then Rarity and Twilight talking about the romantic and technical aspects, and all assisted by Pinkie providing them with a "Teaching Chip Important Things" party, complete with slideshows of the inappropriate pictures for the conversations. And refreshments. (vanilla pudding, bananas, grapes, cherries, and sandwiches slathered in mayonnaise. You know, for nutrition... or something.
Also, Pineapples. Especially after the "Technical Aspects" discussion. Did you know that a certain... currently relevant bodily fluid can be flavored more favorably by eating pineapples? Well, now you do)

Now that you've had your dose of TMI, have fun writing Chip's intro to "Making Love and Feeling it Too."

[Wing Dancer]

255474
"Also, Pineapples. Especially after the "Technical Aspects" discussion. Did you know that a certain... currently relevant bodily fluid can be flavored more favorably by eating pineapples?"

Chip has problems with writing, his hooves are just too damn big. And he refuses to assume human form, stating that even as clueless as he is, it would seem indecent to do so.

So he asked -- What fluids? The only bodily fluids a changeling exerts is sweat and spit.

[Quantum_Shift]

255486
it's a certain fluid produced during the coupling between ponies.

Zeth knows what I'm talking about, if need be, pester him about it.

Also, Chip, you don't want me trying to tell you about Pony mating rituals, I think my knowledge is a little off. I've been working as a manager/bodyguard in my own hive for a while, and it's lead to some minor corruption of some of my knowledge.
It's not stuff I use anyways, so I haven't had any issues... until now, anyways.

I can tell you how Royal-class changelings breed... Which, btw, now includes you.
Oh, you might want to consider finding a suitable mate eventually, a local hive does wonders for keeping out hostile changelings.

[Wing Dancer]

255498
Great work. Now Chip closed himself in the laboratory and refuses to come out. He said, and I quote, that it is "disgusting" and "get away from me!".

Once he calmed down a litle, he said that such, um, things, don't occur in the changeling hive -- at least, he doesn't have any knowledge of it. A hive has only a single entity that can give life, and that is the Queen. She does it on her own, no icky-sticky included.

Now excuse me, I can hear the bugger is transforming constantly in there, and that can't be good...

[Quantum_Shift]

255511
heh, my work is completed.
Hive Verbose shall rise.

[dialgex]

If it were me giving the talk, the convo might be like this:

"So a stallion has a thing in-between his legs called a [REDACTED], and a mare has a [REDACTED]."...
etc., etc.

It wouldn't be awkward if I did the talking directly.

[Wing Dancer]

255926
You really think so? I mean, he asks a whole lot of questions. And he has a habit of demanding demonstrations.
Oh, and by the way, he alraedy knows how those private parts are named like and what they look like. He can probably quote pony biology in his sleep...

The thing he seems to be missing is the emotional aspect of it all -- from what I gather of his insane talk, he treats is as nothing more than an activity that ponies do, something like going to the toilet or taking a walk in the park.

Twilight might try and explain that at some point, but does she really have the experience to share? And if she does, will she admit it?

[dialgex]

255940 Oh, in that case I would probably just say "The act of reproduction between a stallion and mare is highly considered a private matter generally not to talked about or in public. It is usually pleasurable for both involved parties."

Or something along those lines.

Nothing is really awkward with me, though I understand and respect social boundaries.

[Wing Dancer]

255966

Chip said that Twilight told him as much. But why is it considered private? I just taught him the word "taboo", but he doesn't see a valid point in keeping something so widelly known a secret.

Oh, he also said he liked your style. Chip doesn't believe in awkwardness too -- [strike]although truth be told he is baffled more times than he dares admit[/strike] he never feels awkward.

Excuse me, I have to apply some bandage on mah head.

[dialgex]

255983 Chip,
The reason it is considered a private matter is because majority of the older populace of Equestria feel that this kind of stuff is inappropriate for the foals, and should only be told to them when their parents feel the time is right for them to know. The act of reproduction usually only takes place between a stallion and mare that truly love each other. Love, in itself, is an ultimately higher form of friendship. There is no set definition for it, and because of this, love is, and is defined, differently for each and every individual.

There is family love, a couple's love, the love of an object, etc. etc. This is only a few, and varies far more than I can name.

[Wing Dancer]

256008

Chip is curious to hear about the types of love there are. He requests a book on the subject, or at least some study paper. It's not that he doesn't trust your words, but to him, words written down on paper are nearly revered by him...

I'll try and print your reply, maybe that will work

[dialgex]

256038 Here, maybe theseonline articles can assist in his knowledge search.

[Wing Dancer]

256049

Chip nearly knocked me out when he saw the Wikipedia entry. He is totally enchanted by the site... So I'm not sure I'll be able to write about his adventures in Equestria anytime soon.

[dialgex]

256095 Sorry for that!

[Little Voice]

That kind of stuff he's looking into is to only be done between two married ponies. The emotions are only to be purposefully aroused between two married ponies because they lead to the actions. The actions are meant to give birth to children. The birth of a child, the entrance of a new soul, a new being, a new "spark", into the world is held in the highest regard, even more so than both of the Princesses are held. Thus, the actions leading to that are considered sacred, as it becomes the responsibility of the two ponies who gave birth to the child to raise it as part of their family so the child can be happy and bring happiness to others.
Why should the two ponies be married before going through the "actions?" Because marriage is a sacred agreement that makes the ponies members of the other's family.
Why should a child be raised in a family? What purpose does that serve? A family (like, a real family, not just a blood family, though that distinction most often isn't necessary) is a group of ponies who love one another and care for one another's well being for the present and future. To raise the child in a family is the best way to ensure that it is raised properly; properly being raising the child to be happy and bring happiness to the world. All other possible methods will practically always lead to the child doing the opposite.
Can ponies marry blood related family members since they already love each other and do those "actions?" NO! The love among family is good because it helps raise the child properly, but family that is already related by blood cannot love each other with the right type of love that is a prerequisite to marriage. Why? Reply to me tomorrow with any other questions you might have when I've gotten some sleep and I'll tell you unless someone else provides you with a good answer before I do, in which case, I'll simply agree with them.