chaos verse back up library pastor pulp stories

a helping Hans or The Beige

Franklin DeLacruse, Pastor Pulp's secret identity wandered through the streets of Gotham, his batdar beeping crazily.
"There's a Batman around here somewhere," said the suave sleuth,"I can smell it."
Franklin had been searching for days, hunting this Batman with inhuman vigor. It wasn't for some vendetta you disgusting retarded cretin, Franklin is a Batman collector, and a damn good one at that.
Suddenly, the unmistakable sound of a bats rang whizzing through the air reached Franklin's moist, sexy ears. He turned just in time for it to hit him in the chest, where it harmlessly bounced off of his glorious pecs.
"Watch your step, evildoer,"said a gruff, aged voice,"don't make me, Adam West, take you down."
Franklin merely smiled, and unleashed the bat catcher, it wrapped around Batman, as well as his sidekick Dickbutt McFaggotron.
Suddenly however, the front wheel of a motorcycle collided with Franklin's head, knocking him to the floor.
Adam West used this opening to get the Batman Cather Repellant off of his utility belt. He sprayed it on his bindings, and they immediately ran away and formed One Direction.
"Sorry, didn't mean to hit you, stranger," said the cyclist faghole.
"Ugh, u r wun cheeky cunt m8, w8! Hans?"
"Pulp?"
And so the two long-time lovers leapt into each other's arms, making out furiously as their wee weewees rubbed together.
Hans pulled down Franklin's pants, and began to fellate his one true love.

pulpy perfection

Pastor Pulp kicked the door of his local church, and started walking home. Sure, giving twenty-hour sermons was very tiring, but it was worth it to spread the word of kindness to the rest of the modest populous.
Pastor Pulp was always giving it one hundred percent in the community. He helped old ladies cross the street, and built homes for the homeless.
During his walk, Pulp was confronted by a vicious mugger.
"Give me all yur money," said the mugger.
And so not only did Pulp give the mugger his credit card and PIN number, but a hug, three kisses, and a pair of warm mittens.
" Surely, if this man had to resort to mugging, he must need the money more than I," reasoned Pulp.
As soon as he reached his home, Pulp saw his landlord MEEESTER lurking at the door.
"Oh no, you're not coming in here," said Meester,"I'm banning you from your house because you're so handsome and popular, and I'm very jealous."
So Pulp turned and walked away, while donating to charity with every step.
The end.