chaos verse back up library stories by shadow shard

the power of nigga

It was a wonderful day.
Seriously, this day was so fucking wonderful I just can't put it into words.
Get your lazy ass up from wherever you are and find a window, maybe you'll see a fraction of the pure awesome I'm talking about.
At any rate, it was on this particular day that somebody had slept in. And it was disastrous, for this one person proved to e none other than the Element of Nigga, Raymanguy. Local nigga extraordinaire, he could hear any mention of any variation of the word nigga and would magically appear next to the speaker with a simple "You rang?"
However when he was sleeping, his powers over the Element of Nigga weakened to the point where he could no longer hear any mention of the word, and thusly could sleep peacefully. But when he slept in, nigga-sayers everywhere could no longer ease their boredom by turning to somebody or something and yelling "NIGGA!"
And today, he had slept in.
NSO, the Nigga-Sayers Organization, had begun to destroy the rest of the world in their quest to find the bearer of the Element of Nigga, but when one of the slightly more braindead members lit the fuse on the biggest bomb ever created, the Earth became nothing more than a dustball tumbling through space.
Chaos, the Element of Nukes, unearthed herself from a pile of radioactive rubble.
"That....was....awesome!"
End.

the tentacle attack

"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!" Yelled TheIronPrincess, desperately trying to outrun one of Yogg-Saron's renegade tentacles. Her gunshots did seemingly nothing. "GODDAMNIT I'M THE RAPER NOT THE RAPEE!"
She darted past one of the kitchens where Normal and Chaos were having an enjoyable conversation about the correct way to prepare a bagel for human consumption. A few seconds later their conversation screeched to a halt as another tentacle slithered into the room.
A faint "OH SHIT! OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!" could be heard, but the Russian was already out of earshot and thusly heard nothing.
"And after that point, you can do absolutely dick. You just stop." This time, she didn't even stop to check who was talking with who, she just ran.
A day later, she returned to Chaos' former room. The woman was loading a nuke into its launcher and aiming it at the pool room where Yogg's main body was.
"...don't judge me.

mistress of rustles

Shadow inched over to the door, holding a two bunnies and a dagger. She quickly slit their small white-furred throats and let the blood pool under the door, then kicked over a nearby chair to make it sound like something her weight had collapsed.
Suddenly all sounds from outside went silent.
No Mudraynebow.
No Raymanguy.
No Officer Hot-Pants.
No Stiggerzz.
But silence.
No Yogg-Saron, who actually didn't give a fuck.
No Chaos, complaining about needing better earplugs.
Even her son had stopped crying, the mentally retarded one she'd tried smothering with a pillow.
Nobody spoke.
Nobody moved.
Then the baby started crying again.
"GODMOTHERFUCKING DAMNIT I'M GOING TO KILL THAT THING!" Chaos's voice screamed.
Shadow simply grinned and listened in on the now even larger shitstorm.

single

"What the fuck is that noise?" Chaos groaned, rolling out of her time-lord/lady themed bed and storming out the door, down the hall, and taking a right. (Of course, she stopped for coffee. Who doesn't?) She was in the process of taking said right when she smacked into Sofya, who was carrying a gun and looked far too pissed to be good for anyone's health. "Where. Is. She."
Chaos frowned. "Who?"
The Russian growled. "Shadow. The bitch is keeping me awake and it is unacceptable. Also, she stole some of my vodka."
The time lady winced. The last person who had stolen some of Sofya's Vodka had died a slow and gruesome death. Their screams had echoed down the halls for hours until the Russian had finally put them out of their misery.
MEANWHILE ELSEWHERE
Shadow swung from the chandelier, singing off-key and slurring but still singing.
"Good girl gone bad....*hic*...My poishon ish your remedy..."
Several empty bottles of Vodka were scattered around the room, along with an half-empty bag of kit kats and some unknown drug laid out in lines. A few bottles of Coors were also empty, though most of those were smashed or otherwise in pieces.
"Better be shcared, be better afraid.....now that the beasht ish out of her cage...."
The doors swung open, slamming into the walls behind them, and Sofya ran in toting a very deadly gun. "WHERE'S MY VODKA BITCH?"
A drunken giggle answered her from above. "Oopshies."
Her head tipped back and she caught sight of the other woman sprawled on the chandelier. Lowering the gun a few inches, she blinked slowly. "Uh...what?"
Chaos poked her head in, slightly surprised that gunshots hadn't been heard yet. "What's the hold u-what the fuck?"
The two newcomers took in the room, then Shadow, then looked at each other.
"Where's Muddy?"