An Existential Swim

By now everypony is passionately engaged in the episode 100 discussion, tossing flaming horseshoes at one another, opening the bowels of Tartarus on other people’s blogs, flirting or sending love letters or perhaps assassins to Hasbro and M.A. Larson, and overall constructing or demolishing the foundation the past 99 episodes firmly stood upon. No, I misspoke. There was no true foundation, because these were (for the most part) background ponies, ponies whose lives were crafted and instituted by us, the fair watchers. But we picked the sticks for Hasbro and they chose the meager twigs good enough for their fire, flinging it with considerable force yet not giving a second glance at how the flames were rising, considering only the fact that the flames were still there, still burning, alive, ever-present. But should they have looked closer, what would they have seen? We are all still basking in this smoke, aren’t we? Well...what does it matter, right?

Whether you’re giving accolades or panning the episode, you can’t deny that the fandom is reacting, bubbling and exploding from every doozy as if this were one of Pinkie Pie’s hidden confetti canons. And while the bells are going off every which way, and you’re looking left and right, with the prancing ponies on one side of the bonfire and the pitch-forked ruffians on the other side, I stand here, not because I’m trying to avoid the crossfire, but rather because of all this dust. So let’s take a step back shall we? Because while inside of this crazy coliseum, I find myself focusing not on the flames, but on the embers, and I can’t help but wonder…

If I came to the fandom later with Netflix streaming all five seasons and I happened upon this episode, what would I think? How would I react?

Before becoming immersed with the fandom and before even googling FiM stuff, I certainly had no idea about that infamous bench scene, how people shipped Bon Bon and Lyra, how Lyra was secretly a human, or how Bon Bon was a secret agent of sorts. And if I didn’t know that, I obviously had no inclination that people shipped Vinyl Scratch and Octavia. (I mean, were they even spotted together at all before the 100th episode? People could have shipped Octavia and Fredric Horseshoepin or Parish Nandermane. Even Beauty Brass. They could have written fanfics about this foursome, this four-pony musical ensemble living the ideal life of music and art, and thriving on the side in their cabal of debauchery!) But, of course, there is something alluring about the coming together of opposites—how two ponies with two different lifestyles coalesce, whether suddenly, accidentally, or coincidentally, and how a sort of awkward sexual tension arises from their sizzling interactions, a magnetic attraction with spouts of hatred that can be equally interpreted as captivation with an added tumble and jumble of dubious enchantment and disgust.

But I digress. Let’s get back to the 100th episode and my speculative reaction.

Doctor Who was lost on me (hay, it’s still lost on me). I knew about the timey slimey cobbly mobbly stuff, but with so many episodes, I felt like I would have watched Sherlock way before watching Doctor Who. And if, somehow, I watched it, I would have started with the ninth doctor, so I’m not sure if I would have gotten the references in the pony episode. I know nothing else of the show beyond the Tardis and perhaps one or two of his companions, so I’m not sure I would have connected the doctor to the Doctor at all.

I never watched The Big Lebowski, and I doubt I would have ventured upon the movie sometime before the 100th episode. Those scenes would still be lost to me.

I would probably question why that pony had crisscrossed eyes—or I’d think, hey it’s that pony again and think nothing of it.

Probably the most enjoyment received from the episode would be the Luna/Celestia argument. Even a year or two from now, I’d still think the lone changeling was cute.

In short, I don’t think I would have understood anything that happened in this episode. And immediately upon watching it I would google it to figure out what the heck I just watched.

…But again I wonder, would I have even come to the fandom a year or two from now? Perhaps somehow I would or perhaps I wouldn’t. But it doesn’t matter. I’m here now.

I found the show when I needed it the most.

But again, I digress.

Episode 100 was…interesting. It was probably far more interesting to see people’s reactions because they have been invested in this show far longer than I have. I almost feel like an outsider—no, I probably am an outsider.

I was however particularly drawn to Gummy’s lines:

“What is life? Is it nothing more than the endless search for a cutie mark? And what is a cutie mark but a constant reminder that we're all only one bugbear attack away from oblivion? And what of the poor gator? Flank forever blank, destined to an existential swim down the river of life to... an unknowable destiny?”

Yes, this season is definitely about cutie marks, so much so that even the gator talked about it. I want to say that it was explicitly placed for comedy relief, but I’m sure it’s more about them establishing and drilling the thematic cutie mark design into our heads.

But this line hits home.

While watching the show, I was slightly jealous of the ponies because of the cutie marks, and how it was an indirect symbol of one’s destiny. It was actually an idea I was going to explore in one of my stories, a story I would have published before the 5th season came out, but unfortunately I had the realization that a chunk of substance was missing from the story’s middle. Currently, the story's outline has to be revised, and I need to explore more ideas before I can continue writing it. I’m now more focused on an upcoming Twilight/Trixie story (it will still be a while before I publish it).

But here’s an unedited excerpt of what I wrote a couple of months ago:

Besides getting her cutie mark, Sweetie’s thoughts didn’t embrace any massive dreams beyond the now. For herself and the crusaders, their only focus was obtaining that unalterable unique symbol. Getting their cutie mark was basically a seal of authenticity. It was a badge you never took off, a stamp that immediately inducted you into the ranks of a flank-filled society. It was the bread and butter of their existence. It was the purpose of their crusading institution—hay, they even had a Manehatten branch now, their ranks filling slowly but surely.

And once they reached their goal, once they finally acquired their long due life marks, they would finally know their special talent. And then, maybe then, they would be closer to finding out their destinies. Once Sweetie got her cutie mark, perhaps thinking about the future wouldn’t bother her as much.

How strange it was that such a tiny picture could spell out your whole life. How strange it was that your cutie mark basically meant your destiny. No, that was wrong. Rarity had once said that a cutie mark is a symbol of your talent, but it doesn’t necessarily tell you what your destiny was. But still. In Sweetie’s view, a cutie mark led to your destiny.

But what about those creatures without cutie marks? How did they live without having a clue to their destiny, the griffons and diamond dogs and dragons? How did Spike deal with not having a cutie mark? Did he still realize his destiny with one? Or was he still in the process of discovering it? Twilight did say he was a baby dragon. Maybe dragons did have cutie marks, but no one knew because they were so big and tall and maybe it was hiding on a small scale somewhere. But didn’t dragons shed? Would the cutie-mark-adorned scale fall off?

How was it that Rarity knew what she wanted to be, what her destiny was, even before she got her cutie mark? How was it that she could be so set on her dream when Sweetie barely knew what she wanted to eat for breakfast sometimes? Would Sweetie know her destiny soon? Would she know before or after she got her cutie mark? Would she ever know?

She hoped so.

Well, I suppose it's back to outlining …