Wordplay · 3:06am May 4th, 2015
So, today at work, a funny thing happened amongst the stupidity and increasing rage inducing colleagues.
I should start with the quick fact that, although I have bought a few things to do with MLP, I do not collect, or to be precise, I do not collect the ponies. If anything, the only thing I ever collected was the CCG, and that's died down in me for a while now.
Anyway, this regular, one among many, has become increasingly annoying. Without going into details, he complains about everything, telling others they're wrong with no apparent understanding of alternate opinions, and swears without a care for other customers (ok, so some details there). Today, while I'm moving clean glasses from machine to shelves, he says something entirely unexpected.
"Stephen, do you collect My Little Ponies?"
At first, I'm taken aback. It's no secret among the staff at my pub, but neither is it spread around to others. My colleagues just accepted it and got on with their lives. Thankfully, this isn't the first time I've been 'taken from my comfort zone' with a question. My reaction was not uncommon.
"Say what now?" I managed to reply.
"I heard you collected My Little Ponies."
Now I've already explained that I honestly don't do this, so, technically, I wasn't lying when I said, "I don't collect My Little Ponies."
For the next couple of minutes while i continued to deal with the freshly washed glasses behind the bar, I took great joy in messing with the regular. He kept asking the same thing in different sentences, and I kept replying witht the same line. I made sure to specify collecting, and he never stopped specifying it either.
The regular eventually stopped, accepting that he'd been told wrong, or that I wasn't going to 'tell the truth'. A few minutes later, another regular, thinking he's the wittiest fuck on the planet, sings the initial line to all MLP intros. This then gave me the idea to keep humming the whole G4 tune, sometimes whispering the words out of earshot, or mouthing when knelt under the bar. When the first regular heard the humming, he pointed an accusational finger.
"Hah, so you do collect them!"
It was then that the latest addition to the pub staff, who'd heard it all from the start, chimed in.
"-Regular 2- sang the tune just seconds ago, mate. The tune's catchy, and Stephen's always humming or singing something."
So, that was that. It wasn't until I was giving the newest guy a lift home that I told him I was a brony, and he laughed his head off. Made another miserable day at work just that bit less miserable.
Oh, and when I mentioned it to the chatterbox from the kitchen who was why the pub staff found out about me being a brony, she said:
"Where did he get 'collect' from?"
I already assumed it had been her who told others beyond the staff.
3044613 Someone appreciates the comedy