Bleh

im really starting to hate my life, i cant even work up the motivation to draw... something that i really enjoy and am quite proud of my abilities at. but on top of the fact of not being able to even talk to the girl who im CRAZY about because just seeing her reminds me that i will never be worth her time. or effort. i have to deal with my parents freaking out about us being broke as shit. so my mother is coming home pissed half the time, the other half she becomes pissed within minutes of being home. my father is ...well a judgmental fuck whether he will admit it or not. there is probably other stuff but i really want to get to the main reason why i am so depressed as of late. it feels like everyone i know is moving forward in life, my best friend is getting letters from mother fucking YALE...and is looking at PRINCETON AND DUKE...all ivy league colleges if you didn't know. every other person i consider my friend. is either enrolled in college in some form or another. or have a job.
and i am just a fat fuck sitting here everyday. moping around the house. because i don't know how to fucking advance myself in life. because i am worthless. i mean come on, i have no talent at anything. i have no motivation to work out. .so basically iv done nothing but drain society, without putting anything back towards it except negativity, and pointless blogs on a site where only 2 people actually give half a shit
Heres to hoping i don't wake up