OMG WTF BBQ

This is the stupidest conversation I've ever had.

Playing simcity and a giant lizard starts rampaging through my city.
[6/04/2015 11:56:14 PM] Dale (Marcibel): Oh no, they say he's got to go
Go go Godzilla
Oh no, there goes Tokyo
Go go Godzilla
[6/04/2015 11:58:03 PM] disenderstorm: RIP Hurricane Hill, went bankrupt after a lizard stepped on my department of finance I used to control taxes
[12:00:25 AM] disenderstorm: It's okay, I managed to evacuate mostly everyone to Tartarus which has like 20 fires a day.
[12:00:59 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Because everyone would rather burn than be squashed.
[12:02:22 AM] disenderstorm: Well, it's either there or Shit Creek, which is a polluting shithole that also serves as storage for all my ore and coal.
[12:02:53 AM | Edited 12:03:11 AM] disenderstorm: And no one wants to say they live in Shit Creek.
[12:03:26 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Especially if they're going up it without a paddle.
Shit Creek is a heavily industrial town centered around a river where I dump the entire regions sewage. If this was Cities Skylines then that water would actually look brown but EA does not know how water works, sadly.
[12:07:15 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Are the townspeople mutated?
[12:07:30 AM] Dale (Marcibel): In your imagination, I mean.
[12:08:38 AM] disenderstorm: I would imagine.
If this was Cities Skylines I could also set it up with One Way Streets to make sure no one can ever leave Shit Creek.
You know, quarantine.
[12:09:12 AM] Dale (Marcibel): (rofl)
[12:11:49 AM] disenderstorm: Oh. Uh, I think that's bad.
[12:12:08 AM] disenderstorm: Shit Creek is under siege by zombies.
[12:12:28 AM] disenderstorm: I can't tell if they're zombies or mutated townspeople actually
[12:13:42 AM | Edited 12:13:49 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Perhaps they're zombies formed by the townspeople's mutations separating, bursting, etc., creating new undead.
[12:14:32 AM] disenderstorm: Oh, look, I have one cop going around and shooting zombies
[12:14:53 AM] disenderstorm: Just one
[12:15:05 AM] Dale (Marcibel): This might seem bad, but is he an overweight black guy?
[12:15:47 AM] disenderstorm: omg... his name is Darryl.
[12:16:51 AM] Dale (Marcibel): ...I think I'll place my bets on the zombies...
[12:18:43 AM | Edited 12:18:51 AM] disenderstorm: 'Zombies Crumble as Daylight Breaks, Zombies Claimed 1 Sims' Brain. Residents are glad they can go back to watching TV.'

How they're watching TV is beyond me, none of these people have power.
[12:19:44 AM | Edited 12:20:16 AM] Dale (Marcibel): It's just a cardboard box, and they're taking turns performing "shows."
[12:20:46 AM] disenderstorm: Shit Creek really lives up to its name.

'Tartarus breathes a sigh of relief as a wave of arson moves to Shit Creek'
[12:21:12 AM] disenderstorm: Shit Creek is really halfway up Shit Creek.
[12:21:34 AM] Dale (Marcibel): And I'm guessing Darryl ate the paddle?
[12:22:23 AM] disenderstorm: I'm guessing Darryl (or Darryl's corpse) is the paddle
[12:22:43 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Though, I imagine it's going to be hard to burn down shacks made of sheet metal.
[12:23:00 AM] Dale (Marcibel): At least, in my mind it's sheet metal.
[12:23:30 AM] disenderstorm: Yeah, it's just a big slum of shanty-towns.
[12:25:35 AM] disenderstorm: Well, in my mind, anyway. It's actually a giant trailer park.
[12:27:10 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Oh, God, Shit Creek must have a "Days Without a Tornado" counter.
[12:30:07 AM] disenderstorm: No, that's Hurricane Hill. I literally started that city, put up a town hall and then out of nowhere a fucking hurricane demolishes everything.
[12:32:10 AM] Dale (Marcibel): WELCOME TO HURRICANE HILL
Are you sure you wanna be here?
[12:33:42 AM] disenderstorm: But, because of the high tornado frequency, it also powered my entire region because I had at least 5 wind power plants each decked out with 20 big ass turbines.
[12:34:42 AM] Dale (Marcibel): "Hey, we may not have any buildings, but we'll have power when we get them rebuilt!"
[12:35:28 AM] disenderstorm: Hurricane Hill is just a desolate wasteland since Godlizard wrecked my shit
[12:37:05 AM] disenderstorm: Actually, this 30 seconds or so explains HH's situation pretty well.
https://youtu.be/7-KeHtlUf2M?t=6m50s
[12:39:43 AM] Dale (Marcibel): "Sometimes, there is Godzilla.'
[12:39:57 AM] Zeus Demi: Dammit guys, I just read your conversation and then laughed for five minutes
[12:41:03 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Hey, I'm still laughing at the thing that started this.
[12:42:41 AM] disenderstorm: Yeah, that sums up SimCity pretty well. It is a really good game, despite the fact that it was made by EA.
[12:43:06 AM] disenderstorm: I'm having tons of fun making up my own stories about my cities.
[12:44:52 AM] Dale (Marcibel): And I'm having fun at the expense of Shit Creek, Hurricane Hill, and Tartarus.
[12:45:56 AM] disenderstorm: I think it might be high time I made a new city. Name suggestions?
[12:46:57 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Not any original ones off the top of my head.
[12:47:28 AM] disenderstorm: Out of nowhere, I am imagining that big lizard as Dino.
[12:48:21 AM] Dale (Marcibel): And Hurricane Hill just happened to be the new location of GameFreak HQ.
[12:48:55 AM] Dale (Marcibel): "Amorphous Gardevoir my ASS!"
[12:49:27 AM] disenderstorm: The new Pokemon game is rea- oh, no, there it goes. Blown away into the waters of Shit Creek.
[12:50:13 AM] Dale (Marcibel): And that's how we got Black2 and White2 instead of Grey.
[12:51:30 AM] disenderstorm: If you're really desperate you might dive to the bottom of the lake I have yet to name and fish it out
[12:52:20 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Though, we should warn you: no one has made it out of that lake.
[12:52:27 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Not even the bodies.
[12:53:34 AM] disenderstorm: Because in Lake 101, no one ever enters, and no one ever leaves. (Only people who played Fallout 3 will get that)
[12:55:58 AM] Edanite: Heh, that's mean. You're born in the lake, you die in the lake.
Alright, my new city is called Megaton, and since HH's destruction at the hands (claws?) of Dino, this place will have a massive Nuclear Reactor in the dead center.
[1:00:42 AM] disenderstorm: Because I need power
[1:01:42 AM] disenderstorm: I get any more than one reactor and I'll have to rename to Ultraton or something
[1:10:59 AM] disenderstorm: Actually, is that a good idea? I don't want the residents of Shit Creek more fucked up than they already are, and I don't think radiation is going to help.
[1:11:43 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Maybe the radiation will counter the effects of the pollution.
[1:12:06 AM | Edited 1:12:15 AM] Dale (Marcibel): I mean, it's EA, right? It's not like it's going to make sense anyway.
[1:12:59 AM] Zeus Demi: Maybe you'll end up with your own X-Men
[1:13:02 AM] Zeus Demi: Or Hulk
[1:15:24 AM] disenderstorm: Huh. Turns out they don't teach nuclear physics and the safe running of a nuclear power plant in grade schools. Who knew?
[1:15:45 AM] Zeus Demi: What happened?
[1:16:00 AM] disenderstorm: A meltdown.
[1:16:10 AM] disenderstorm: Goodbye half my city.
[1:16:26 AM] Zeus Demi: Hello mutant population
[1:17:38 AM] disenderstorm: Although really, it was probably because I don't have enough power to keep my water pump going, so no water was being supplied to my reactor.
[1:17:49 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Hey, maybe the mutations will cause them to turn into Pokémon.
[1:18:15 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Or three ounces of it will turn you into a magic pony.
[1:24:24 AM] disenderstorm: Hey Jay, we're talking about the region of... I don't know, Shitwater Valley?
[1:24:27 AM] Dale (Marcibel): I like that.
[1:24:35 AM] disenderstorm: And Lake Fecal.
[1:53:16 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Murderer on the loose AND a tornado?
[1:53:40 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Holy crap.
[1:54:23 AM] disenderstorm: I don't know if you can see a trail of blackened, squashed rubble, but that was from Dino's rampage.
[1:58:50 AM] Dale (Marcibel): Damn....
[2:04:08 AM] disenderstorm: But moving on from that hurricane, heres an inferno. Classic Tartarus wildfires with no one to contain them because my fire station is unemployed. I guess no one wants to bother at this point.