Progress Report · 4:06am Jul 9th, 2012
Dear Void,
today I finished the first half of the first chapter in my first fanfic ever. Or maybe the first third of it. I know that this may sounds odd, but I think that I finished the first big part of my fanfic and this just feels great. With each word I'm writing my motivation grows and even the longing to write the next word, no matter how 'important' it is, is slowly filling my chest. Well, of course it's not as important as you are, dear friend.
Maybe this is what those big writers mean when they say 'I don't live for writing. I'm writing to live.' (This is losing in translation)
I think that writing fanfics (and maybe other storys) could become an important part of my life. I don't think that this is one of those 'Ohmagosh, I could do that FOREVER'-feelings after all, since I can arrange my thoughts at least a bit with it.
But also, there are some points I am afraid of:
My story counts at this moment 6746 words. 1479 are prologue and 5267 are located in chapter one. That may sounds all right, but in fact the chapter isn't even half-done as I said. I really hope that I'm not overdoing it, making the whole thing too long. To be honest, I don't think that it's possible to make a story too long, even if we're talking about a fanfic, what is supposed to have the character of a short-story after all. But I'm afraid that there are too many repetitions I don't realize. Also, I'm afraid that I don't hit the spot, that it's just boring to read for other people just as your own voice sounds cool to yourself when you are singing under the shower while it's crap in the ears of other people, waiting for you to get out of the bath. And of course I'm afraid that my grammar and my limited vocabulary are going to make my story a pain to read for native english speakers.
As you know, I'm writing for myself. To order my mind, practicing english and mostly important: to make something productive from that, what other people may call depression, caused by my intense friendship to you and the nihilism in my head. Living in harmony with my black butterfly, that's what it feels like. And still, since I made up my mind to release my storys, those questions are in my mind.
I'm also afraid that I'm drinking too much water while writing.
Your faithful student and friend,
Chaodiurn
