Satire

I wrote one.

The ‘Long’ Wait

Dan was a strong man. He’d faced countless challenges; an example would be that one time his
treasured pacifier had been stolen by the devil of an animal. It had actually happened most recently, just a few moments before to be exact. He’d been crawling around his territory, patrolling the outer fencing and this ‘dog’ as his parental units called it had jumped him. Out of nowhere this thing had snuck up on the all-knowing and wise Dan, and then the beast did the unthinkable.

​The beast licked him until Dan was almost drowning in the slick and slimy saliva of his mortal
enemy. In the process it had knocked his pacifier out of his mouth, as the object hit the ground the beast turned and chased after it. Dan knew it wasn’t the end of the fearsome battle and crawled toward the beast. ​

​ Dan latched onto the back appendage of the demon and once he had a firm grip he realized he
had the upper hand. He chuckled evilly; this beast would not know the pain he had caused until he paid the price. He bit down on it; he wouldn’t stop until the beast howled in agony.

​ Whistling could be heard as Dan’s father passed by the living room. He glanced toward the
room, where his son was giggling and chowing down on his dog’s leg. He chuckled, children were a
mystery and he’d always wonder what they thought it their tiny, little heads.

​ The father acquired his coat and made his way out the door to work, he would miss his son but
it would only be for a part of the day that he would be gone. And besides, the little rascal had his caring mother to watch over him. He shook his head. What a simple yet amazing life he had.

​ Back at the BOO (Base of Operations) and the present, the mighty child had fought off the beast
and secured his position as overlord of the land. In the process he’d even reacquired his pacifier, not an easy task for the weak. But for him it was child’s play.

​He glanced around his kingdom in search of the taller parental unit, the one that he was told to
call ‘father’. He had tried many times to do so, but for some odd and annoying reason he couldn’t
communicate with them. This was why he kept his omniscient, parental units. He was, however, set on
learning the language of their people. It could take days at his level of knowledge, but the possibility of it taking more then that sent shivers down his spine.

​ Dan crawled over to the gate. Yes, yes, why not walk? If you’re so knowledgeable and awesome
why can’t you do a simple thing like that? Well random reader, he just had that on his long list of things
to do. It was down there what finding out what a cat was and how to open a bottle.

​ Glancing around the outside territories he deduced that while his mother was sitting at the table
next in front of him his father was not there. Dan sniffled, had his father left him? No, there was no waythat someone of his stature would do such a horrendous thing. But somehow he knew that his father wasn’t there. Tears began to run down his cheeks, why would this happen to him? He had done nothingthat was worthy of such a punishment.

​ His mother had noticed his sorrow and walked over to comfort him. They had some sixth sense
to where they knew when their offspring was not feeling optimal. She picked him up and situated him
into a comfortable position in her arms, and whispered calming words.

“Shh, shh, calm down. It’ll be okay.”

Calm down? He was already calm, he’d been calm. All that was happening was that his eyes
reacted to the situation poorly and broke down. He believed they would be fine, but a stern lecture was in order after he found out where and why his father left.

​His mother set him down after his eyes gathered their bearings. “See, everything’s fine. You
needn’t worry.”
​​
​A creak was heard as the door opened and Dan’s father walked back in the house. Dan was
overjoyed, his father had returned! His father rushed to the coat rack and grabbed one of the articles of clothing and issued a quick farewell as he exited the abode. Dan’s eyes began to water. Why must the world be so cruel!?

​