Gaming Gush 2014: Games of the Year · 6:44am Dec 26th, 2014

Greetings, my now-startlingly-large number of followers who are probably still waiting for an update to Dread that's totally on the way I promise you guys no really!

*Ahem*

Gaming. I loves it. I loves it lots. And even in a year with Assassin's Creed: Oh God What Happened To My Face, Final Fantasy XIII: Lightning Returns Despite Everyone Wanting Her To Get Struck By Her Namesake and not one, not two, but THREE incidents of manchildren throwing hissy fits because someone pointed out that their games were shit...

I still had a simple time picking out my favorite, legitimately good games of the year.

South Park: The Stick of Truth
South Park's had a history with video games that can charitably be described as 'iffy', so it's great to see a title that both does justice to the source material, AND serves as a great game as well. Sure, it's RPG system might've been on the shallow end, but...

...Well, it's a game where you can kill Nazi Zombie Fetuses, and, you know, there's... really no way to dislike a game that does that.

Republique
This iOS title may have released the premiere episode to their five-part episodic series last year, but the next two episodes released made me eagerly await my next helping from Camoflaj.

Basically, you're in control of the cameras and security systems in an unknown location called 'Metamorphosis', attempting to guide a young girl, calling herself Hope, to freedom through essentially a game of Red Light/Green Light with a heavy Big Brother atmosphere. Learning about the city, its key players, and trying to learn the truth behind their ominous-sounding 'Arrival' kept me interested, but it was the ending to Episode Three that made me realize just how much I'd grown to care about Hope.

Controls? Eh, they're... well, gonna be honest, they can be crap, namely trying to move the cameras at a decent speed. Plus, I was playing on iPhone, so my meaty fingers lead to somewhat inaccurate touch-screen controls. Still, seriously worth picking up, whether you have an iPad or iPhone.

Alien: Isolation
I'd always thought that, in a horror game, if I had a means to defend myself, I'd never be scared. Turns out that bravery is sent screaming out the airlock when the most ideal way to defend yourself against the monster of the title is merely a stalling tactic at best.

Seriously, creeping down the halls of the ~~Ishimura~~ Sevastapol Station is among the most intense horror experiences I've had with games; the alien, like an extraterrestrial honey badger, simply don't care for your predetermined patrol routes, he shows up when he damn pleases... namely when he hears you fire a gun or stomp down the hall. Sure, you can use him as a pseudo-attack dog on the asshole humans on the station who decide that, just because they don't know you, it'd be safer to just open fire, not knowing that, to the alien, a pistol shot is basically a xenomorph dinner bell... but then when it's just you and the alien, you might end up missing the humans. Easily the pinnacle of horror games this year.

"What about--" NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE CAN'T DO MORE THAN ONE NIGHT NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE...

Tales From The Borderlands
Yep, only one episode so far. Nope, don't care. Fantastic start to a series. I loved Borderlands 2, and I even liked Pre-Sequel despite the rather glaring feel of "DLC stretched into full-priced release". So a TellTale game, following its patented formula that worked for Walking Dead and Fables, set on Pandora? BRILLIANCE.

Both the characters you play—Rhys and Fiona—are hilarious while still being likable... that is, PANDORA likable, and it's great to see how the planet has evolved after Handsome Jack's downfall.

Also, Zer0 was great in the first episode, but...

TELLTALE, PLEASE, PLEEEEE-E-E-E-EAAAASE LET KRIEG APPEAR IN A FUTURE EPISODE. I'VE GONE SO LONG WITHOUT A NIPPLE SALAD.

Valiant Hearts: The Great War
Oh, a game set in a World War? Alright, gimme my bolt-action rifle, let's go kill some nazi's...

Oh, World War 1? Okay, let's go kill some...

Oh, it's... not a shooter? It's a puzzle-platformer with a Rayman Origins-style design where the focus is not on the war itself, but four individuals caught in the middle who are simply trying to see each other to the end of the bloody conflict, leading to moments of legitimate happiness, anxiety, shock and mourning?

...I'LL TAKE TEN.

Wolfenstein: The New Order
Oh, hey, a competent shooter with an interesting Perk mechanic and the ability to dual-wield almost every gun at your disposal. That sounds like fun--

Oh, it has a cool setting in a world where the Nazis won World War 2 because they used high-tech not-magic weaponry because they're cheating A-holes? Awesome!

AND it has a great story with lovable characters and a heartbreaking finale that left me moist and wanting for a sequel if only to spend more time with said-characters?

...Oh, and Nazi Robot Dogs, and you go on an acid trip with Jimi Hendrix.

One Finger Death Punch
Want a game that's both fun and able to be played with one hand*?

*It is preferable that whatever you may be doing with the other hand is kept private so that I don't end up in jail.

World of Warcraft: Warlords of Draenor
On my first day in Draenor, Blizzard gave to me,
A metric shit-ton of lag!

All joking aside, this is a fantastic expansion, namely through its amazing Garrison system, making it the most rewarding time to have nine level 90+ alts *cough* so you can have plenty of ways to see the content. The music's fantastic, the questing is fun, and so far the Legendary quest chain shows that Blizzard has learned much from the feedback received by players during Mists of Pandaria. (No offense to Wrathion, but FUCK THE 3K VALOR QUEST (which was originally 6K) and FUCK THE QUEST THAT DEMANDED YOU DO PVP IN A PVE-CENTRIC QUEST CHAIN BECAUSE PVP CAN GO DIE IN A FIRE BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY DOING THE SAME THING IN RAIDS.)

Also, Gul'Dan? Fantastic model and voice work, just wanted to single him out as my favorite villain so far in the expansion.

Now, to check on my garrison-- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HOW DID YOU FAIL A 99% SUCCESS CHANCE MISSION YOU GUYS.

TO THE BARN WITH YOU. I SHALL BE THERE SOON WITH THE CARROT SUPPOSITORIES AND LEGION OF BUNNIES.

Shovel Knight
I never had an NES growing up, so I can't say I enjoyed this game out of nostalgia.

No, I enjoyed it because of its robust platforming, excellent music, and surprisingly touching story that proved you don't need 30 bazillion pixels generating a human face to express EMOSHUNZZZZZ.

Hearthstone
"Waaaaiiiiit a minute, this was on your list LAST year-- *shot in the face*"
Yes, when it was in BETA. This is LIVE. Also it had the fantastic Curse of Naxxramas adventure, AND the new Goblins vs Gnomes expansion that added cards that were to the meta what a live hand grenade is to a chicken coop.

HAIL TO OUR LORD AND MASTER GAHZ'RILLA.

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