Revamping · 5:53pm Dec 18th, 2014
Okay, this is a quick word: For those of you who may have noticed, there's been a number of changes going on with Chapter 2. This is because I'm restructuring Chapters 2 and 3. It's slow going (about a page or so a day) but I'm hoping that it will help the story flow more smoothly.
The thing about writing in this format (posting a chapter each time you finish it) is that I feel a little awkward going back and redoing previous chapters. As though I'm cheating. But it feel good to do so because I'm growing and changing as a writer and going back to fix up old work just makes me happier overall with the story itself.
And don't worry, I'm not retconning much of anything, it's all structure. Here's the previous opening to Chapter 2:
"I nudged the corpse with my hoof.
Not much was left of the dead unicorn that Tiny had said was my travelling companion. Even the smell wasn’t so bad. After the dry heat and hungry creatures her coat was a dark, matted red. Bright orange strands of hair clung to what had been her neck. Unless buzzards had started growing manes this was the only clue as to what she may have looked like.
“Hope you don’t mind,” I spoke to the corpse as I rummaged through her saddlebags.
I quickly found out that somepony had already gone been by and picked her clean. Carrion eaters had torn up her leather armor too much for it to be of any use. She had been wearing a leg holster, which I found a little ways away from the body. It was damaged and would need to be repaired. Not here though, I knew I needed to get moving before the temperature started climbing. "
And here it is after the retooling:
" I nudged the corpse with my hoof.
Not much was left of the dead unicorn that had been my travelling companion, even the smell wasn’t so bad in the dry heat. Her coat was a dark, matted red, but that may have just been dried blood. Strands of bright orange hair clung to what had been her neck. Unless buzzards had started growing manes this was the only real clue to her identity and not much else.
“Hope you don’t mind,” I said to the corpse as I rummaged through her saddlebags.
She, and I realized that I was assuming it was a she, had already been picked clean and most of her equipment in scattered disrepair. Carrion eaters had even torn up her leather armor too much for it to be of any use. I did find a damaged leg holster a little ways away from the body. It was tucked into my pack for later, when the sun wasn't trying to bake me alive. "
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