Silver Moon's Ballad

So, I wrote a song, telling a VERY beautiful girl how i feel, and i need to know what you people think of it before i sing it to her. (High school is just very tense, and I don't want to screw up, especially as a Freshman.)

Here goes...

Song: Curse Of Affection
By: Maintain Your Insanity (my group)
On: Heartsong (my album)

I'm looking at you through the glass,
Don't know how much time has passed.
Oh, god it feels like forever,
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
Sitting all alone inside your head.

So much to feel,
It's all just too real.
I'm incessantly suffering,
My life just keeps on buffering,
My mind has had a fatal system error.

This curse is blighting my very soul,
Corrupting it to be black as coal.
My charcoal spirit's burning down,
Inevitably I soon will drown,
In the ashes of my inner entity.

For some strange reason I cannot find,
The strength to remove you from my mind.
These shades I wear to hide my emotion,
I cower in fear of the curse of affection,
Oh, baby please, just save me from myself!

I'm looking at you through the glass,
Don't know how much time has passed.
All I know is that it feels like forever,
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
Sitting all alone inside your head.

My craving for emotion's underfed,
My will to live, draining as i bled.
I need your love to save me from the descend,
Or my heart's eternal drumbeat soon shall end,
Oh, baby please, just love me to the end!

Yet still I'm looking at you through the glass,
Don't know how much time has passed.
Oh, god it feels like forever,
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
Sitting all alone inside your head.

Baby, I need you,
But I cannot forever ensue.
Oh, baby please, just save me,
Before I give up and attempt to flee,
From this never-ending hell!

Remove my concealing shades,
Take from me, my bloody blades.
Can you see my ceaseless pain,
Can you feel my eternal disdain,
Only you can end this perpetual torture!

Baby, please...

Rescue...

Me...

Like I said, please tell me what you thought of the song, (preferrably something similar to the "out of 10" rating) and wether I should sing it to her or not.

Yours Truly,

SilverMoon09