Shameful · 11:49pm Sep 27th, 2014
Anyway, I've decided not to kill myself by doing Oneshotober. There's a few reasons why. One of which is, do you have any idea what that new stories box is going to look like? I'd be lucky if I had ten minutes before my stories were swept away by the incoming torrent of crap. God help the pre-readers.
Also, I finally finished a oneshot, and it's clop, and I want to get rid of it as soon as possible. So, I just submitted "In a Pickle", and I expect it to be viewable soon. I think it's terrible, both as clop, and as a story. People typically don't like when story gets into their clop, and people don't like when clop gets into their story. So, it likely appeals to no one. Regardless, horsewords, views, likes, followers, fame, self-loathing; all of that to follow soon.
And now I'm back to working on the other twenty fics I have started. Maybe. I tend to procrastinate.
Oh yeah, in regards to my last blog, I don't know why I get so stressed out by this site. I have a little over 250 followers. That's nothing! And most of you probably look at your feed, see my blogs, and keep scrolling. I'm not important. None of this is important. The joy was gone because I felt this had become a task rather than a distraction. Fortunately, I've brought myself back to reality, and now I can see clearly that no one cares, so why should I?
Here's a better question- does doing this do anything for you? Anything at all? If the answer is no, then you're right. You really shouldn't care, and I will understand and support your choice.
If the answer is yes, then think. How important is this benefit to you? Is it a fair trade for the time, effort, and stress going into this site? If the answer is no, then see above. If it's yes, then there's your reason for caring.
Perhaps it's some form of social decency drilled into your subconscious. You don't like the feeling of letting others done because that's what others have been teaching you. So even if it's dragging you down, you feel like you have to stay on here. If it is, then don't. Leave. You should come first above us. As I said, I will support that decision.
It's really not too hard if you think about it logically and factor in yourself. Just get rid of emotion.
Dimir, baby. It's a good philosophy. So is Orzhov. And Esper. And Grixis. But I'm just rambling now. Did I just create a "good" Dimir? Like Dimir portrayed in something other than an evil light? Damn I'm good. WotC should hire me for creative. At least I'm willing to think more than those stereotypical blockheads who insist on making black evil.Sorry, I just realized that you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Because a good majority of people on this site are sicially awkward and merely don't know how to react to stuff that many can probably relate to and fear anything they'd say would lead to making things worst for the one in pain and the ones who tried in vain to cheer them up?
Or that many try to avoid depressing matters and self-loathing because, again, many people suffer from similar things and need an escape and so mainly drown themselves in stories or video games or anything that can make them forget about real world problems like an appointment for a new house so one doesn't end up in the streets or a shelter as the house was given to another family because they have bigger income and are actually married, thus despite having funds and a good solid relation with past landlords, is passed up and have mere days to find a place that won't require the need to abandon all friends in state to seek a simple room outside state?
Perhaps that maybe the writers just thinks too hard about numbers and don't often get to see the reactions like smiles or laughs and just generally see how much their work might affect the ones who also suffer from their depression, that maybe, just maybe, the stuff they write helps someone out there feel just a little better and manage to find something to smile about despite the feeling of the very world falling in on them?
Eh, or maybe people really don't care. That's also a very real possibility. Whose to say? In the end, you either write for yourself because it brings you joy, or you write for others in hopes it brings others joy.
I suppose if numbers only mattered, one could just write silly Button Mash and Nyx stories with enough sugar sweetness for a month or two to increase follow count above the daily recommended calorie intake.
I've no idea really.
I realize that I am posting after two or more people with much better and well thought out opinions than my own, but I don't care. Final Draft, I don't skip over your blog posts. I know, that probably sounds really stupid and cheesy, but I don't care. It's true. You write really good stories, they all seem so well thought out, and I think what happens to you is that you take on too many projects at one time. Try taking it one project at a time, and focus that down until it's done, then move on to the next. Sure, it might take longer for there to be updates, but who cares, as long as the grammar is correct and the story elements are well thought out. I realize that this is probably horrible advice, but it's what I have to say.
Another thing, why do you write? Do you write as a hobby? To escape reality? Or something else? Whatever reason you have to write, you shouldn't feel like writing is a bad thing. Writing is very much a good thing. I used to make up little stories of my own whenever I was bored, but I was horrible at writing. Yet I continued anyway. Either way, those were just my two bits, take 'em with a grain of salt. Have a good day and a good life Final, there is at least one person here rooting for you.