I've learned something · 6:22am May 23rd, 2014
Recently I've put my writing on hold due to an interesting opportunity I was presented with: a commission. This was the first time someone had ever asked me to write for them, and in return, I would actually receive money. Needless to say, I was quite excited, and elated by the fact that someone found my writing worthy of some sort of compensation. I felt accomplished and proud, to the point where I didn't really mind what the commission was even for.
Needless to say, I bit off a section far larger than I could ever hope to chew. I won't divulge any specific details on the commission or the commissioner, but note that I was asked to write a custom clopfic for someone, containing a rather strange fetish as a focal point. I was unacquainted with this fetish to say the least. At first, I found it hard to even read the sample material he gave me without a knot forming in my stomach from the sheer discomfort, but that did not deter me. I gave it an honest shot, much to the commissioner's disappointment. I didn't even know how to handle the business portion of the deal. (I was insistent on a few things that frustrated him) and eventually when he got his story, after struggling to get it, I was underwhelming with my delivery.
I was not deterred even still. I tried to ask questions and really dissect what made his fetish work. I immersed myself so far as to even put myself in his shoes and even attempt to divulge in the fetish, much to my disgust. I puzzled it out as much as I could, trying to reason what he wanted and what he didn't, without spoiling too much of the story itself. After a week drafting the first attempt, and another four days or so attempting to re imagine the clop scene, I still didn't make it work. It had nothing to do with grammar, prose, diction or anything that objective. I didn't understand the fetish enough to make it exciting to him.
And thus, I came to the rather disappointing conclusion. I simply can't rush into something because I'm excited. I can't just attempt to do something with promises of success, if I'm not even sure I'll be able to deliver. It seems like a pretty fundamental lesson to be learning, I know, but it's hard to see reason through excitement. I have learned to be more sagacious with things like this now, and if another commission were to ever occur that I'm not quite sure I'd be able to deliver on, I'll have to pass. For the sake saving both his time and my own.
May I ask (morbid curiosity) what the kink in question was?
2138199
If you really want to know, it was gas. Burping and farting.
2140639
Alright, I'll freely admit, my mind went far, far darker and stranger places than that.
Still, thanks for both the blog and the answer. It was rather interesting to read.
2140777
Yeah, gas is a mild fetish compared to some of the heavier ones, but to actually sit yourself down and write it as a visceral experience is... taxing. That means describing the taste of it, the temperature, the sound, the smell.... it's just too difficult for me to do, let alone even focus on. It was a grueling experience, and I hope to never have to deal in that fetish again. I told him that it would be best to commission someone who shares the fetish, because there was no way I could think on it any longer.
2141202
Just...
I don't even want to know how that works, do I?
2141223
I doubt you do.