My Story · 7:44pm Apr 27th, 2014
I've been thinking lately about my life. I started doing head canon blogs a while ago, and while I mean to do another soon, I realize that headcanons are not enough to understand what's going on in my stories. To really understand, you have to know me, and know what my life is and was like. And thanks to a little push yesterday, I'm going to tell you almost everything about my experience from the beginning. And, no, I'm not looking for pity, or sympathy, or anything. I merely want my story--the one I could never write with any clue as to the ending but one I'm forced to write all the same--out.
When my mother was younger, barely sixteen, she had lived most of her life in a really bad home. But, due to her beauty, she had hope for a future of modeling. Her fixation on modeling and her appearance unfortunately lead to her becoming anorexic. One day, she meet a boy at her school, and he gave her a chance to escape her problems for a while. But in truth he didn't care for her, and when she became pregnant, he left. She struggled hard while pregnant to battle her anorexia, and when the time came, she gave birth to a health child. But because of the child she lost any hope of pursuing her modeling career, and she was forced to drop out of school to support the boy.
A year later, she met another man, seven years her elder and already divorced and with a son of his own. They started dating, and when she became pregnant with her second child they married. Then, the boy's younger sister was born.
The boy wasn't treated the same as the man's son, nor his daughter. He was treated in a more stern manner, and while the man was never outright abusive, he was distant and unloving. Despite that, the boy grew up happy.
When time came for the boy to go to school, it quickly became apparent to the teachers that he wasn't like most other children. He couldn't speak like a child his age should, and when he did it was with awkward phasing and little annunciation. He had trouble following direct orders and acted out severely. After many spankings from both the father and the principal, he eventually became complacent and "behaved". Fearing anymore similar treatment, he no longer interacted with other children in case he did something wrong. Because of this, the other children singled him out, leading to many years of torment and bullying for the boy.
When he was old enough, his father started forcing him to play baseball on the local team. The boy didn't want to, but he thought if he did, his father would love him like he love his sister and brother, and maybe even stop the other kids. But it did neither, and it cause the rift between the boy and his father to grow as he was unable to meet his father's expectations.
But thanks to the sport, he had built enough confidence and finally made his first friend, and then another. By that time, he was entering middle school, and he was actually starting to feel happy again. And with his second friends help, he was able to avoid the bullying. But then on summer, the boy's friend died in a car crash. After that, he became more withdrawn and temperamental, lashing out at the slightest provocation. This cause even more kids to hate him, even leading to several kids to attack and beat him an a daily basis. Yet, when he tried to tell the school staff, he wasn't believed and stated he was the one starting the fights.
A few years go by, and everything stays the same for the boy. He no longer played any sport, because he gave up trying to please his father. So, instead, his father attention turned to his sister. The boy was ignored, and out of anger he separated himself from his family. His sister, seeing the way he acted, began to pick on him, despite being the youngest. But the boy wasn't aloud to retaliate, and by hiding behind her father, his sister never received punishment.
The boy eventually found his first girlfriend. Fearing that she'd leave him, fearing to be alone again, he opened himself completely to her. That was one of his biggest mistakes. She became extremely abusive and controlling, further separation him from others, causing him to lose any friends he had managed to hold onto over the years. If it wasn't for her moving, he would have been with her for longer than what he had. And with her gone, he entered the ninth grade alone.
With all the stress school put on him, along with the torment of his sister, his parents oncoming divorce, and loneliness, he set out to kill himself. But he could never bring himself to, and he eventually ran away from home and contacted the police about his fears of self harm. He was institutionalized for depression not long after. When he got out, his mother was living in an apartment away from his father, and he was forced to live with his aunt and uncle. There, he slowly started to get better, began to make friends and became less antagonistic toward others. It was the single most greatest time of his life.
But then his mom and uncle began to fight over the money his mother never gave him to take care the boy. The uncle was afraid she was using it to run off and get high, and was abandoning the boy. So then the mom pulled the boy from his uncle and his happy life to live with her and her new boyfriend.
His life became a line off pain after that, as the new boyfriend would beat him and his mother, and take all the money his mother worked for to by drugs. The boy starved, losing twenty pounds in the first few months of his life there. But, again, he made friends and tried to live the way his uncle would have wanted.
He met a girl, and began to date her, but quickly ended it when he realized he was only using her and didn't care for her in the slightest. He began to fear he was becoming like the girl he dated so long ago. He tried to make it up to her by apologizing, and went out of his way to hook her up with a nicer guy. And when he saw how happy the two were together, he began to forgive himself.
A year goes by and he begins to slip deeper into depression despite his efforts to stay happy. He eventually convinces his mother to let him move in with his father and sister. There, despite the way he was treated, he was able to get away from the stress of the abusive boyfriend and his mom. He made friends again and slowly becomes happier. He was now able to stand the way his sister treated him, and his father went out of his way to try and act more like a father to him.
He eventually reached a low point and asked to be checked into another clinic for his depression. A week later, he came out to supporting friends and realized how lucky he was to have them. A few weeks later, he posted his first story to a fanfiction website, pushed by his friends.
Now the boy sits at a computer, typing the heavily cut down and shorted version of his life with so many pieces missing, and despite his sadness he looks for reasons to smile in the morning.
And with all of that, he has one thing to say:
Thank you, all my followers, all my friends. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
I don't mean to complain about my life. That's not what I came here to do. I just wanted to tell my story, so really, thank you.
You all are part of the reason I can smile today.
2053841 paddelings, the way parents used to discipline children. Not so much beatings, but still physical discipline all the same.
2053936 No. Back then a principal was allowed to spank a child as long as they had written consent of a parent or guardian.
2054013 My sister's not so bad any more. Growing up has done a lot. She's still a vindictive, manipulative shrew, but it's easier to handle her now.
2054049 I'm fine for one year. After that, I'm heading of to college and will be starting a new life.
2054162 No, I have come to understand this. I couldn't even handle JROTC. I doubt I would last in the military. Plus, I like my long hair, and I don't want to see it cut.
... hehehe bad joke.