Bookplayer headcanon blogposty thing

So bookplayer recently posted a list of questions about headcanons and I am on that so hard you have no idea.

So. Here goes.

The Princesses:
1. How old are Celestia and Luna?
Roughly four thousand years old, though they weren't princesses until later.

2. How old is Cadance?
Twenty-three in season two. A year older than Shining Armor.

3. Were Celestia and Luna always alicorns, or did they ascend?
Ascended from what was left of the first bearers of the elements of harmony.

4. Are Cadance and Twilight immortal?
Only inasmuch as neither will ever die on-screen in the life of the show.

5. Have there been other alicorns in the past?
Probably not.

6. How much authority do Celestia and Luna have in Equestria?
Limitless, boundless, unquestioned absolute authority... that they refuse to use, ever.

7. Does Shining Armor rule The Crystal Empire along side of Cadance?
"Shining Armor and Princess Cadance rule the Crystal Empire together!" Thanks, backcard. Seriously though, even if it isn't his destiny to do so he clearly has an important role there and is a prince.

8. Other than Twilight, Luna, and Cadance, what relationships have been important to Celestia in her lifetime (students, close friends, lovers, family)?
That one old librarian from the comics. Starswirl the Bearded. I also like to think her secretary is one of her closest non-student friends in ages and that they titter about courtly affairs when nopony else is listening.

Ponies and Equestrian Culture:

9. Are there still cultural differences between earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns, or is the culture homogeneous by the time shown in canon? Are there cultural stereotypes (positive or negative)?
Actually it's pretty clear that the three tribes are separate in some aspects, though they work together and celebrate both their differences and unity, without feeling that these differences truly make them better than the other tribes. It's what their christmasgiving is all about, after all. Cultural stereotypes unfortunately exist, mostly because the three tribes are, in fact, mechanically good at certain things.

10. Are there foods or items native to Cloudsdale that are uncommon on the ground? Are there foods or items on the ground that are uncommon in Cloudsdale?
There is no food native to any cloud city; pegasi pretty much survived by raiding and intimidation before the current system of weather-for-food was implemented. Pretty much anything NOT easily made of clouds or weather is made on the ground, and I like to think that cloudborn-and-proud pegasi scorn those things.

11. Can all unicorns learn all spells, given the time and effort spent practicing them, or is magical talent usually limited in some way?
Unicorns generally are only driven to learn magic related to their magic talent in some way, their special purpose. Twilight's special talent is magic, meaning she's driven to learn all magic. This is a bit like wishing for wishes from a genie, but in slow motion.

12. Earth pony magic: Does it exist? What is it?
Of course! The magic of the tilled earth, of the growing sapling, of the harvest. Earth ponies are as magically attuned with the cycle of nature and the harvest as pegasi are with weather and clouds and unicorns are with magic. Rainbow Dash is as strong as Applejack, perhaps stronger, but she cannot buck apples any more than Applejack can kick a thunderbolt out of a cloud.

13. Some pony families we’ve seen seem to have naming conventions (the Apples, Twilight’s family) and others don’t appear to (Rarity’s family, Pinkie’s family), which is more common? Are there reasons for one or the other?
It varies from tribe to tribe, and from group to group within tribe. Those that value unity tend towards naming conventions, while those families that prize individual excellence may not even have anything resembling a 'family name'. That said, Rarity has a last name, she just doesn't use it for stylistic reasons. One word. Like Madonna.

14. How much formal schooling is an average, middle class pony expected to complete?
A few years, where you learn reading, writing, a smattering of arts and crafts, arithmetic, and oh hey you all have your cutie marks, go be what you're supposed to be.

15. What’s the average lifespan for a pony? At what age is a pony expected to be independent of their parents?
A century is a notable pony lifespan, and pony ages in general seem to feel about like human ages, but young ponies are given much more freedom than human equivalents. Many ponies are on their own by their early teens, but there are also cases where independence isn't strictly necessary or desired.

16. Are there roughly an equal number of male and female ponies?
Nope. Not 'I have never actually seen a stallion' numbers, but mares are more common. Comedy answer: Yes, but they all live in bachelor herds outside of major population centers, with a few exceptions. (no not actually because male-centric harem fics kind of bother me)

17. How informed are most ponies about things that happen in other parts of Equestria? What about other parts of the world?
I'd argue that most ponies pretty clearly don't always recognize ponies that have saved the nation multiple times, and are vaguely aware that other, non-Equestria places exist, but do not interest them largely.

The Main Characters:
18. How old are the Mane Six? Spike? The CMC?
In season one... Twilight and Dash are 16, Pinkie is 17, Fluttershy is 18, Rarity and AJ are 19. Spike is 11. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are 12, Apple Bloom is 11.

19. Did Fluttershy remain on the ground after getting her cutie mark? Were she and Rainbow Dash friends all along, or did they drift apart for a while?
She returned for flight camp on Rainbow's request; they kept in touch via letters and Fluttershy ended up helping Rainbow get her first job in Ponyville when she finished school.

20. Rarity and Applejack both seem to have grown up in Ponyville. What were their interactions like before the show?
Rarity is gracious and elegant now; as a filly, she was snotty and arrogant and probably bullied Applejack. She grew out of it but it took Twilight to get them to actually put aside their differences.

21. What do Twilight and Spike consider their relationship to be?
Explicitly brother and sister. I further like to think that Spike wants to call Shining Armor big brother but worries it would come off as weird.

22. When did Pinkie move in with the Cakes? Is she a worker who rents a room, an apprentice, or is there some other relationship?
About two weeks after that party that allegedly went perfect (Fluttershy was clearly lying in that episode; why not Pinkie?) Pinkie is incapable of compartmentalization. They are her landlords, bosses, teachers, best friends, surrogate parental figures, and anything else she can think of.

23. Who among the Mane Six had the best parents growing up? The worst parents?
Twilight and Rarity both had two parents that loved them and didn't split up, die, or throw them out for throwing a party. Worst parent is Fluttershy's mom, who clearly laid enough shit on her daughter that she used falling from the sky as an excuse to move out despite still being a child and suffering from crippling social anxiety. Best parents were the Apples, may they rest in peace.

24. Why didn’t the CMC hang out more/know each other before Call of the Cutie?
Scootaloo and Sweetie DID know each other. As long as they had each other and Apple Bloom had Twist, there was no real reason for them to approach each other, but an enemy's cuteceañara is a good time to make friends.

25. Is Scootaloo an orphan? Will she ever be able to fly?
Scootaloo is an orphan who will never be able to fly, but that's okay because she has friends that love her and special talents that don't need fully functioning wings. She can be happy and successful no matter what life throws at her because she is the strongest pony.

26. Will Apple Bloom’s cutie mark involve an apple in some way, even if it’s unrelated to farming or baking?
Even if she gets an obscure local history knowing cutie mark, there'll be an apple in there somewhere.

27. How is Sweetie Belle’s relationship with their parents different than Rarity’s was?
Rarity was spoiled, given every opportunity, and now feels she's outgrown her parents, who embarrass her sometimes. Sweetie Belle came along when they were already planning for retirement; it's almost like they're her grandparents as far as laxity goes.

Side and Background Characters:

28. Is Mr. Cake the father of the Cake twins or not?
Yes, regardless of paternity. He suspects he might not be the sire, but does not truly want to know. Even though he is tired, even though he is working harder than ever, even though the dark circles under his eyes refuse to go away, he is happier, more fulfilled than he's been in a long time.

Besides, he was probably just really bad at genetics, being a baker in a farming community with nothing resembling a high school.

29. Are Big Mac and Cheerilee an item, romantically?
Yes, and Granny Smith is pissed.

30. How did Prince Blueblood get his title?
It's a largely ceremonial title given to scions of certain great unicorn houses, or gained via marriage. It is much less notable than princesshood. He was adopted into the royal family symbolically and given the title for basically no reason except who his parents were.

31. Is Silver Spoon equally as bad as Diamond Tiara?
Is a dog as bad as its master? No, but a dog didn't choose to be a dog.

32. Is Zecora’s magic common among zebras?
Define 'common'. Every village or so has a priestess, but it's still less than one out of every few dozen.

33. Why does Daring Do publish her stories as fiction?
So that she can 'improve' on reality and give her ghostwriter, Twilight Velvet, a little more wiggle room.

34. Do you have a strong headcanon for any non-speaking or one line background ponies that you want to share?
Lyra needs help.

Other Species:
35. Does Equestria differentiate between speaking and non-speaking species, in terms of respect, rights and legal responsibilities? Is there some other line or scale used? (For example, how are cows classified? Diamond Dogs? A chimera?)
Well, farm animals generally fall under 'need ponies to help them get by because they aren't very bright', regardless of some of them being capable of speech. Diamond dogs? Legal responsibilities? You might as well ask if the monster under the bed can vote.

36. Do other speaking species form their own nations, or are all nations largely integrated, with some having larger populations of a species than others?
Nations are almost entirely monocultural, though small to large numbers of ponies of various tribes can be found in nearly every civilized nation.

37. Are minotaurs related to cows at all?
That's like saying ponies are related to Saddle Arabians. You're rude.

38. Do all zebras rhyme?
That would not be any fun
Nothing would ever get done
Priests alone will do this trick
To make sure their words will stick

39. Do zebra cutie marks work the same way as pony cutie marks?
Zebra cutie mark, say you?
Oh! You mean my butt tattoo.

40. Do any species have types of magic, other than ponies and zebras?
Everything is magical, except mules and donkeys. Sorry, Cranky.

41. Is the lack of buffalo presence in Equestria cultural, or simply because most pony towns aren’t built to accommodate a full grown buffalo?
They were there first, and don't want to live in pony towns. That said, I really wish we'd see more of them because 'oh and the natives don't exist anywhere but this one place where they don't bother anybody anymore' is not a good thing.

Headcanon and You:
42. Do you consider official sources other than the show (comics, card game text, movies, novels, etc.) to be canon?
I consider the novels, comics, movies and elements of previous gens that I like to be some level of canon.

43. Do you have one headcanon that you always use, or do you switch depending on projects?
I generally keep to one but have to match the tone of what I'm doing.

44. Can you easily accept the headcanons of different writers? Do you prefer when stories match your headcanon?
Yes, as long as they were thought out and not super unfortunate in their implications.

45. Is there a part of your headcanon that you wish was more popular among writers?
Trans Fluttershy not being played as a joke.

46. Is there a popular piece of headcanon that other writers use that you dislike?
Does 'secretly a tyrant celestia' count? Because that almost never works and only exists (outside of a few intentionally alternate universe stories) because cynicism is cool. A close second is 'Rainbow is a dyke [and that's terrible]', followed by 'Rainbow isn't a dyke [because that's terrible]'. Asexual, bi, lesbian, straight, doesn't really matter to me as long as it's well-written and doesn't cast a value judgement on the very idea of anyone being gay (have seriously never seen a straight dash that didn't exist in a homophobic fic).

47. Have you ever written a story or blogpost just to explain some part of your headcanon (other than this one)?
Yes, all of them. The stories, I mean. The blog posts are just me making excuses for not posting more.

48. Does your headcanon influence things like your favorite pony, ship, or episode?
Yes. I actively enjoy Fluttershy episodes because of my headcanon despite most of the fandom being sick of them.

49. Would it bother you if the show proved part of your headcanon wrong? Any specific piece that would really bother you to lose?
Much like with other fanfic writers' headcanons, only if they seemed poorly thought out. That said, I'm not dumb and I know that if we ever see Rainbow Dash's dad he's not going to be a depressed alcoholic who tries his best. I'd feel kind of cheated if it turned out AJ's parents were still alive, Scootaloo wasn't an orphan or could fly, or Rainbow Dash offically got involved with anypony (thank god that'll never happen)

50. Is there something that wasn't asked about here, but you feel like you need to explain to everyone?
I think too damn much about my headcanon as it is, I had better stop now.