Equestria Girls Review Thing · 12:14am Sep 19th, 2013

Warning: If you like Equestria Girls, don't want spoilers, or don't care about my opinion do not read this.

Alright, so i know I'm pretty late to be talking about this since people are already done with it by now, but i just want to get my opinion out. This is going to not be a really deep review or anything.
So i finally gave in and decided to watch Equestria Girls. I have to say it was as terrible as I expected. I'm going to start with the plot. I've read stories written by my friend's seven year old brother that were better. So the actual story gets going with Sunset Shimmer stealing Twilight's crown, first of all why was nobody guarding it? The thing is part of their major arsenal to fight evil yet they let Twilight leave it sitting around. So she takes it and runs through a magic mirror to another world, they talk about how this mirror only opens every thirty moons. Again why was this thing going unguarded? Anyway, Twilight goes through it and ends up in the human world, where people have rare skin diseases that make them strange colors. So Twilight goes around failing at being a human and getting weird looks. She eventually meets the human versions of her friends some of which are rocking the skin condition making Rarity look like a vampire and Rainbow looking like the blood flow to her entire body has been cut off. So some sappy writing and forced friendship follows. As this goes we also come to find out the crown is being auctioned off as the reward for prom queen. Let's ignore the fact Twilight could have just grabbed the crown and run considering the weak security this movie has offered so far. But she decides to win the contest and become the queen. Some "catchy" songs later they are all ready and dressed fancy. Some boring party stuff later we eventually go out to the courtyard with Sunset threatening to smash the portal to Equestria. Twilight by now has the crown, so why doesn't she just sprint, get through the portal and when Sunset gives chase let her get captured? Anyway, there is some clumsy crown fumbling and eventually Sunset gets it. She puts it on her head and becomes a demon for no properly explained reason. Some more cheesy writing later the magic of friendship does its usual thing and beats the villain. After Sunset is normal again she apologizes for turning into Satan and trying to rule Equestria and everyone just goes it's ok and people want to be her friend. Twilight eventually goes home, bumps into a forced love interest, gets mocked by her friends like they're 5 years old then roll credits.

I mention the forced love interest. I take no issue with romance in a show, when it's done well. Which it was not. She basically bumps into both pony and human of some random guard called Flash Sentry and boom, romance. It's never developed or shown except in a few parts where it is very pitifully executed.
In the end it was a poorly executed, poorly written, trick to market human pony toys. I keep being told I'm not a real fan because I disliked it. When I bring up the weak plot and writing I'm told that it's meant for little girls so i shouldn't expect much. I feel like that's the thing Bronies now hide behind to cover any negative opinions on the writing. Little girls aren't as dumb as you think they are, they are able to handle quality stories and deeper thinking. Plus the movie was likely written for "tweens" which are even more capable of handling more complex writing. I get pretty sick of being told to trust the writers whenever a bad episode, idea, or marketing ploy shows itself. The writers have been miss stepping, season 3, and Equestria Girls are proof of this, sadly the Bronies I talk to are in some sort of haze where they blindly trust the writers and refuse to see the negatives or short comings of the show. So in the end in my opinion the movie was grossly lacking in every possible department. If you haven't seen it yet I recommend you do if you've got some time to waste.

So feel free to now call me a terrible fan, wrong, or how you won't be reading my story anymore or whatever.

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