Entities and Ponies · 4:36am Aug 30th, 2013
Well I did it, I created my first MLP crossover. Funny thing is, I just started to get into the Green Lantern universe, in depth anyway. So I thought, why not make one about the Entities they deserve some time in the sun. Never thought people would like it this much, thank you all.
Now, I think I should address something about the different oaths the Entities use to invoke their powers. Some of the Entities oaths I've tweaked just a bit to better suit them. For instances:
In the Green Lantern oath, the last line is "Beware my power Green Lantern's light!" Now with Ion, since he is THE entity of willpower, the last line in his oath is "Beware the power of Will's grand light!" Since he is willpower and not a Green Lantern, there's no need to say Green Lantern's light, since he is that light. The same thing goes for Predator, just a slight tweak in the third line of the oath. I did nothing to Adara's since it makes no mention of a corps, and Proselyte...it's in another language.
Well anyway, questions, comments, concerns? Ask away!
I'm overly happy. some of it seemed rush but the story was very good. that Fluttershy bit still gives me goosebumps.
1316954 Thanks and yes I do admit that it is kind of rushed, but the Prologues are mostly just to set up the 4 entities places in Ponyville and with the other characters. Plus I wasn't sure how well the story itself would do, but seeing as how a lot of people seem to like it I'm going to try and slow it down a bit.
1317387...
There is nothing wrong with taking your time to write out a chapter that you are at least 80% satisfied with, as well having a more gradual pacing. The important counter-balance to this is to not get bogged down in procrastination &/or delays of putting out a chapter just because you are not "100% satisfied" with it (note quotation marks).
And yes, while this story is tagged Adventure, your story would likely benefit greatly from a generous portion of the Slice of Life angle as well; as the Entities (the benign/benevolent ones, at least) work to integrate to pony life &/or society, and adapt to having taken corporeal/mortal forms.
More of what I have to say/said is posted on your fan-fiction's comments.
1317387 rigt on, but just note the onlu rushed one I didn't like was Ion due to rushing power... he seemed like something that would hapen much later. the rest? they were legit. fluttershy was like the best out of the prologues you wrote.
1317681 You are right, I'm going to give the Entities some Slice-of-Life antics along the way, but seeing as how a story can't be tagged Adventure and Slice-of-Life I decided to give it the Adventure tag for what I have planned for everybody on down the road.
1318530 Out all four Prologues Fluttershy's was the hardest. I just couldn't think of a casual way for either her or Proselyte to meet up. So I just went with something more actiony, plus it helps set up for what have in store for her down the road.
1322371...
You have seven cosmic-tier DC characters as protagonists, "Adventure" is pretty much a hard-requirement. But that does not restrict you from blending in healthy &/or generous doses of Slice-of-Life either, correct
.
A good example of its inverse-mirror is one of the longest running Slice-of-Life manga series: Ah! My Goddess!, which also contains god-like characters (many of the female cast being from the Norse pantheon of gods). While most days (storylines) involve mortal concerns and problems, the humble mortal protagonist Keiichi Morisato periodically (& perhaps "inevitably") gets caught up in epic adventures with little more than a few mechanic's tools and his pure heart as well.