A Rant, In Which I Need Some Support · 12:20am Aug 19th, 2013
Okay, if you don't like listening to people rant, you may want to leave now.
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Anyways, so as the youngest of 2 kids, my parents have always compared me to my older sister. So, I know every younger sibling gets this, but I feel like my parents do it to me worse. You see, my sister seems perfect; first chair in band, a great long-distance runner, and super-smart. Like, Cum Laude Society as a junior, almost getting a trustee scholarship, AP everything smart. She was pretty much the perfect kid.
So, I, on the other hand, have had to live every second of my life living up to that instead of being myself. Literally, even if I have no clue what I'm doing in Spanish, I have to be perfect. And they expect me to literally get the exact same grades. Like, my sister wasn't amazing at history, but I am. So I pull an A in advanced history in 8th grade, one of the hardest classes in middle school, and harder than freshman history, and get an A- in Spanish.
And they're mad because "your sister could get an A+ in Spanish," and not proud for the great history grade.
Also, they trust me a lot less. You know how in cartoon shows, there would be two siblings, and the older would be smart but really scared and they would say "I don't know...I think that's a bad idea...." The other was athletic and was like "Pssht, don't be a wuss, it's fine." Well, that was my sister and I. And because I actual take risks and want to do stuff, and I'm the opossitte of my cautious sister, they think I can't handle being out with people and on my own. Also, they don't trust anyone in my section for band, because it's not the section she was in. They can't give me an ounce of trust, nor do they trust any of my friends. And yet, they would just let my sis do absolutely anything she wanted with any of her friends, even before she could drive.
Like, my friends from church, which, since the high-schoolers are all mixed in and nobody cares what grade you're in, my sister was friends with these people too. They were going out for ice cream...nothing dangerous, not a school night, back by 8:30 since some people are in school. And they say no, because "It's a small group, it had bad news written all over it." And I knew immeaditly that if my sister was there with me I could go, because they think that she's what's kept me out of trouble all this time, and she keeps me from being stupid, and oh, some of those people weren't her friends (because they are my age and not hers), and since I don't know them that automatically makes them bad people. So, basically, they don't think I can take care of myself, which is understandable, because parents, but then they basically say oh, but if your sister was by herself at that age, she would be fine.
So that means it's not a parenting thing, just favoritism....thanks.
I have actually put myself through so much crap just to try and impress them and be different. Since my sister wasn't a huge athlete, I have dedicated so much of my life to gymnastics, in hopes I could do something she couldn't. There was a point in my life where gymnastics was overly competitive and I couldn't handle it, and I basically hated myself for not being able to keep up. I wanted to drop out, mainly because I was being destroyed from the inside, but I stayed in for one reason; because my sister wasn't a gymnast, so my parents could be proud of me for this one. (Gymnastics is better now and I actually like it, so don't get concerned for me.)
The same hapenned when I realised I was good at long jump in track. Though my coach hated me and track was miserable, I stayed in so I could show them that I could win meets when my sister couldn't, and that I was invited to invitationals when my sister wasn't.
So now, she just left for college, and don't get me wrong, I love my sister. We're really close, and I do miss her. But it's only been a day, and I can already feel my parents going Why aren't you her? Why can't you be like her?
School starts in 2 days, and guys, I'm scared I'm going to screw up. I need help, advice, comfort, something. And don't say, "talk to my parents," because I know them; they will yell and scream and it will get ugly and just make things worse if I tell them about it.
I'm sorry you had to sit through this long rant, but guys, please; I need some kind of advice, or encouragement, because I don't want to keep having to live in this huge shadow.
Your parents need to accept you for who you are. They need to learn the not every human being is perfect.
What would I do in a situation like this? Well, I'm one of those people who just don't care. Over time, I've learnt how to keep calm about almost everything. I've learned that people can think how they want to think, and I can't change that. This understanding has helped me a lot whenever I'm trying to shrug off an embarrassing event that happened to me.
This may all seem a little confusing, so I'll move along to my answer. Be who you are. If someone doesn't like you for the real you, then that's their problem. NOT YOURS. Your parents will eventually realize that they cannot decide what kind of human being you will turn out to be. They will eventually realize that even though they are in fact your parents, who you are is not what they can decide.
Don't let your parents try to shape you into what they desire. Act like the real you. Be the real you. Go ahead, work hard and try to impress them. That's a wonderful thought! But when all that work is caused by fear, then there's something wrong.