Sigma's Skype Story

So recently on the /riff/ chat in Skype Sigma has been typing a little 29P esque story. Here's a quote of the first part.

..Fuck it, Nightmare Moon is a zombie, Atlas is a pony (who is really a changeling), and Fluttershy is a SPARTAN-IV who can shoot fire from her nipples.
And they're all the daughters of Trixie's brother's nephew's uncle's father's second roommate.
Because I no longer care.
And That guy is really just a giant phallic statue Who is possessed by Joel Schumacher Who wants to make Equestria into a world where everything is based on puns and Schwarzenneger doesn't exist
But he is actually Master Splinter, son of Eomir.
Who was formed in order to make a world where Space is really a giant whale vagina.
And this is all achieved by rubbing his very hard nipples and having very hard anal sex with a Garuda after drinking shampoo with Luna's wine.
But the chessmaster is Regidar. Who is really Sonic 06 from 1906
And in the end, everyone simply says congratulations and gives you a handjob after shoving a feather in your inexplicable vagina.
[9:36:30 PM] Sigma: But it isn't over yet.
[9:36:48 PM] Sigma: Spike wants to lead a revolution and take over the world so that all dragons become slaves and not free men.
But this turns into being a farce orchestrated by Ghetsis in order to just win a free horn-fucking from Rarity after he lost his bow and arrow in a duel with Arnold Rimmer.
And in the end...
[9:38:52 PM] Sigma: Eberyone deis.
[9:38:56 PM] Sigma: And they all say DED
[9:39:12 PM] Sigma: But then they turn into an orgy of the dead
[9:39:22 PM] Sigma: And Surprise is the ruler of Equestria.
[9:39:31 PM] Sigma: Her King is a Reeses Pieces cup.
[9:39:47 PM] Sigma: Her son became a Hersheys bar, who only yearns to be a real boy!
Then everything becoms a Power Rangers mecha.
And the Power Rangers merge into Gogeta, who proceeds to burn all copies of Twilight, but leave the movies just for the Rifftrax.
[9:43:04 PM] Sigma: And Rifftrax becomes rightful ruler of the Multiverse in a strange series of events having to do with elec finding the Crystal Skull and a clopfic written by Chris Chan after being imbued with the power of Milkshakes.

But in the end, nobody cares, and R63!Discord has a love child with Q that restores everything to normal... Except If Pinkie bakes a cupcake, the world ends, and if anyone mentions cupcakes but not by name, the world explodes due to not speaking of the delectable little pastrie-(BOOM)
That is until Terl, of the planet Cychlo! comes... But the fic ends before he gets more than 7 lines of Dialogue. Got that?

Here's the second part.

[9:48:01 PM] Sigma: AND THEN THE SEQUEL!
[9:49:05 PM] Sigma: The Mane Six go on a quest to kill Chris Chan, Dakari King Mykan, Chatoyance/JDR, FelixDawn, KingOfSquirrelz, and everyone who ever favorited and erotic fanart on deviantart
[9:49:42 PM] Sigma: Oh, and the ending is them forcing Sony to give up the rights to Spider-Man.