Why I can't draw.

So I tried drawing myself as a Starcrest for my avatar. I figured I could do several and change it now and then, but they'd always be me. It'd keep it the same, but fresh. The problem with this idea, which I've been struggling with for some time now, is that I cannot draw.

I can do more than a stick figure, at least, but I can't get my drawings to actually resemble anyone. I have to rely on articles of clothing because the faces are basically all the same, and very bland. One face can generally substitute for another; they're terribly in-distinctive. And last night I finally figured out why.

Take a moment to try to describe your own face with words. Go on. If you can't, try your friends'. Maybe you can come up with "big chin" or "beady eyes," but it's horrendously difficult to describe the subtleties of a face without bringing undue attention to them and making them sound exaggerated. And I'll bet your own face is the trickiest to do.

I often find myself mentally narrating fight or chase scenes in movies, or anything without dialogue, really, just because it helps me keep track of what's happening; otherwise, it just feels like a surreal blur. And on top of that I've had this longstanding relationship with Jazz music that can only be described as "exclusive." I respect it, don't get me wrong. I can appreciate that it's pure expression that can't be put into words, but it resultingly flies right over my head. "Passionate," "festive," or "sorrowful" simply don't do Jazz justice, much the same as with the face.

It would seem that if I can't put something into words, I have trouble comprehending it. It's a simple matter of how my brain operates. And so all my faces look the same beyond that of the most conspicuous features.

I mainly decided that One is Silver would come into being as a written story and not as a comic or the like because try as I might I just can't draw (though I often still wish I could draw the scenes as I see them in my head). I had never truly realized language as my forte until I started. I feel like I've been barking up the wrong tree about drawing this whole time.

I now know by mind operates on language, theory, and the overall abstract and I should embrace it, not settle for it.