Change of Plans · 9:15am May 19th, 2013
After witnessing many failures in the gauntlet that is higher education, some of which may be mine, I have carefully contemplated the writing style of At Their Service. The second person perspective is a bit limiting for me, and I've talked it over with some peeps that it's kinda "eh" and "meh" and mostly "geh", because the "you" in the story can never really be you, and that's kinda sucky. Also, I don't like the word "you" as much as I like "me", because everyone loves "me".
Or, at least I hope they do.
OiMI is going to continue as normal, although I don't have the next chapter ready yet. I'm also thinking about rewriting this chapter too because I don't think it's good enough. My writing's drab, the descriptions are drab, the sex is sex. I want to have fun with writing a hot Changeling wife, and right now it's not doing it for me. Maybe it'll come to me later or something, because my tests are as serious as I am about getting screwed, and everyone knows that exams always go in dry. No fun.
so ya gonna rewrite the stuff maybe
real possibility
gonna happen
yep
keep the sexy female guard ponies and you are doing fine
Do we still get to read a story about a human getting some daily guard-fun?
I dont know, everytime i see your Avatar...
1090953 Yea as long as that's still there I'm all for change
Shouldn't matter too much as long as you don't name the main character (outside the name "chief" that you have already given) I don't think anyone will mind if you switch it.
I also believe the chapter you have up now is fine the way it is, and doesn't need to be rewritten, Especially if you don't have much time to write due to trouble with education/stress. But if you don't think you can't continue the story without rewriting the first chapter, then you got to do what you have to do...
Though there is always the option of just setting "At Their Service" to 'complete' and continuing the story with a whole new story, having the two stories linked in the description. That way your not limited to keeping it 2nd person perspective because of the previous story, or even limited by its rating if you wanted it to change (you had said you wanted to go into: "the workings of the Royal Guard, and maybe shine a bit of light into Equestrian politics.")
1165974
That's the plan. Strangely enough, I don't want to mention the human's name even though I'm writing about a human. There's something about mentioning human names that sort of... breaks the flow for me.
Education is education. Any stress I have is because of my mind's insistence in staying up into the wee hours of the night.
That's a bad thing, see.
I'm a bit dubious of this. That sounds like it might be against the rules with the "publish all relevant chapters under the same story". It seems strange to do a chapter in second-person, then switch it to another perspective entirely in a follow-up story, but with the same characters.
1171414
It's against the rules? I keep seeing it all the time with stories like In the Hooves of an Angel or others stories like that calling them " sequels". It should be fine as long as you don't spam one story after another.
As for the changing the perspective from one story to another, its not really as strange as you think. Perspectives change in a bunch of stories all the time, sometimes even in the same chapter (though -that- can get a little jarring if not done right). Having a new 'sequel' pretty much lets the reader know that things have changed between stories in writing, be it in first person, 3rd person, or even told in the eyes of a completely different character (but still continuing the the same story).
Again, I'm just pointing out options you might not have thought about. It's always good to have choices!
Edit: After looking closer at the rules of "Multiple chapters of stories as separate stories." It would appear more against the rules if you constantly updated your story with new stories without any real reason to make it a new story. Since the first part is self containing (Yeah, we want to read more, but its not like you left off with "And the real murderer is... TO BE CONTINUED!") with a start and an end, there should be no problem with starting a sequel story with the point that the reading style of the story has changed, but the story continues.
1171953
Sequels are fine. Posting a bunch of separate chapters as separate stories, however, are not. That's what I was getting at (and I have seen a few that fell went against this rule, but they've been long removed).
As for perspective changes within a story, that is not something considered "good". I have not seen any stories at all that fall under this category in fanfiction or otherwise, as it generally considered in bad taste, so to speak, to continually change perspectives in the same story let alone the same chapter. It overrides the idea of a narrator, which is an essential part to telling a story, by essentially creating a sort of Frankenstein of perspectives.
This is just from what I've learned, but in general everyone I talk to suggests that perspective changes are not something you want to do. Only the most exceptional authors can pull that off, and I have yet to meet or hear of anyone who can do it well.
Anyways, I appreciate the comment.
1182944
Whelp. That was my best shot.
I still hold that the story is fine as it is, but then again I must have a unique way of reading second person perspective stories because I don't quite insert myself into it like everyone else apparently do. I just simply view the world through the eyes of the main character. It's sort of like playing Half-Life 2 for me. There's no way Gordon Freeman is me, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the story through his eyes (or possibly make up the words he may not be saying: such as giving him nerdy 'sounded bad-ass in my head' one-lines, or have him scream like a little girl running from all the explosions behind him). True in a game I can control which direction Freeman can go and in a story I can't, but that likes saying a movie sucks because "if it was a video game I would aim better than this guy".
But it is limiting to be only able to tell a story through the eyes of one character. So I do understand wanting to change it for that.