More Wizards, Witches, and Unicorns · 12:30pm Apr 10th, 2013
Hi everybrony!
Due to absolutely mindblowing amount of great feedback, I recieved on my first fanfic, I decided to improve upon it. It is still rather silly in the overall premise, but much better paced now. It even has something that almost resembles a plot.
A run-down of the feedback and my responses:
1) It's too rushed!
This has by far been the most common criticism, and the one I primarily set out to change. It is now more than twice the length of the original, and even though it still is rushed at times, I feel the flow is much better. A big thank-you to Thaylien for the suggestion to simply split the party while Hermione studied the recipe. That worked brilliantly.
2) The formatting hurts!
Hopefully no longer.
3) It's indulgent.
Yep, probably even more so now. The entire premise was indulgent, so that's hard to change. My next fic will be different.
4) Your ponies are British!
So they are. English is a foreign language to me, and I am not nearly good enough at it to try to feign accents. I was taught British English at school, so that's what I write. I'm sure there are a lot of americanisations, though. Sorry. This english language be hard problem, yes?
5) Some of the reactions are out of character, in order to futher the plot or a joke.
I've tried to flesh out the reasoning a bit more. Also, I haven't read a Harry Potter book since the release of Deathly Hallows (or seen the last three movies. Don't know why), so that may explain if the trio acts a bit weird. I never planned to write this fic in the first place, or a lot would have been different. I just started in one end and began typing.
6) There are simply not enough horrible puns or descriptions of food!
Fixed. Well, actually, nopony said that, ever, but added some more anyway. If there is one thing I remenber about Harry Potter it is DESCRIBE ALL THE FOOD!
Thank you all for the twilightlicious comments. I had not in a thousand years expected this spur-of-the-moment fic to recieve anything like it.
I will try to live up to your compliments.
