Changed Summary

I have changed the summary, to one that is hopefully a better attention grabber and tone setter.

From this:
After vanquishing a cruel tyrant, a group of seasoned adventurers find themselves within the world of My Little Pony. Can they find their way back home? Have they brought danger to Equestria with them? Read on to find out in this action/adventure tale.

To this:
We have traveled across a great distance, not one that can be measured or even fathomed. This place which we now are is one I would call silly, even to this day with much of it true face shown to me. Yet for all that inconsolable childishness there is something else here, something which fills me with dread. I fear that in the time since we arrived choices were made which harmed this world, some of which can never be undone.

All that I may do now is pray, and hope, that Pelor might forgive me for what I have done. For I, a cleric, a savior, a healer, have brought death to this world, to Equestria, and the actions ahead of me are the only ones that might save them. It is for them that I do this, and in the memory of those that are behind me. May my father of mercy grant me guidance, and my friends be at my side, as my tale reaches its end.

Any thoughts? I feel its a bit better.

Comments

[Cyan rainbow]

I feel this is a much better description than the old one, I love that its from one of the characters point of view. I feel it is much more compelling and professional and much more likely to grab attention. Having the words "read on to find out, I ain't givin that away in a description" last time I saw it just didn't seem to fit.