So... · 5:59am Feb 17th, 2013
I'm not gonna put a whole lot of thought into this post, I'm just gonna ramble.
For a few weeks now I've been attending Aims Community College in which I'm taking seven classes for 16 Credit hours total. I'm a poor fuck who couldn't even get his books when his classes started, so I've fallen behind and likely failed one or two tests already. Fuck me right? Anyway, I've resorted to donating plasma to pay for gas and Copenhagen because without Cope, I wouldn't be able to cope with it all, the stress would fucking kill me. That being said, the money I put into the tank isn't much, I just barely scrape by to my next donation at which point I've already ran out of Copenhagen and I start getting irritable. But that's not all! My dad likes to use the truck when he goes out to get drunk with his UMF buddies and guess what? That's the gas I pay for that he's burning up as he throws caution to the wind and threatens to get the truck taken away if he gets another DWI. I also failed to quit smoking, so with that bit there, I'm not exactly 'happy'.
Being 19 years old and a smoker while trying to get into shape can be quite a challenge right? You bet your ass it is. Not only that, but when you only eat one meal a day, it gets that much harder. I'm fucking lucky if I manage to get breakfast in the morning. With one of my classes being 'Creative Writing', getting the inspiration to write chapters for PonyFall is quickly stolen, which is why updating takes twice as long now. So my school life is hitting me like a goddamn brick fired out of a fucking Howitzer at point blank range. I'm getting pissy as all hell and it's taking a lot of effort not to snap and start bitching everybody out.
You'd think I'd have SOME form of stress relief, but that was taken after my dad got fired from his job (you guessed it, from that fucking DWI) and the T.V. got taken back. See, I used to play a lot of XBOX to escape from reality and cool off. Now I might get lucky on the weekends and get to the T.V. when my dad or grandparents aren't fucking hogging it. So my 'stress relief' is non-existent. It's all getting built up more and more.
Everybody likes having friends and while I do have some, I can't really hang out with any of them save for the few I go to school with. because gas money. I don't have the money to drive 70+ miles to and another 70+ miles back in order to hang out with them and I miss them more than anything. Yeah, my friends on coloradobronies.org are amazing, but I can't even chill with them very often because all of our meetups are too far away for me to attend them. And there ain't nobody that's gonna drive out to my house (like 30 miles out of their way) to come get me, so I have a pretty shitty social life to boot.
I don't even know why I'm going on with this anymore. Life is getting so damn stressful it's draining me of the energy to even read or try to find a movie to watch. But everything else... Well, lets just say my 'chipper narcissistic online demeanor' is all a ruse because I am one ugly, skinny motherfucker with a cystic acne problem and a poor complexion with an abrasive attitude that would make an angry mother bear think twice, which is exactly why I'm single. So I'll just shut up now and quit my fucking constant bitching for my goddamn pity-party of self hatred and whatnot. I'll keep trying to get chapters out for you guys though, you have my word on that.
Sincerely Yours-
Garrett Houser, the 'In-Over-His-Head Redneck Who's About to Go Abso-Fucking-Lutely Insane'
ya know dud if ya wanna talk, send me a message and i'll hop on skype, People are here to help. As for stress-relief, Don't get a girlfriend, or boyfriend. I might start good but it becomes stress. Just use you're hand.
837653 Even if I tried, such an event would not come to pass. As far as talking goes, everything that needed to be said is in the post.
837670 i have to ask, The Gf/Bf or the handy work?
Well, the offer still stands.
837692 The Gf/Bf bit. I'm straight mind you, but those of the female persuasion tend to avoid me like I'm a deranged serial killer infected with the plague.
837704 I'm sure someone is there for ya, maybe in an alternative uinverse thats about to appear on a 'Verse-jumper, but there is always someone.
837716 Doubtful, but ok.
837704 Heh, you too? Apparently, I still have rabies and cooties, but the girls around here aren't made of very stern stuff.
837758 Yup.
837766
Yeah, and I don't understand why girls think I'm creepy. I mean, kids just freaking love me, no matter what. I've always been like a puppy, you know? Playful, easily excitable, but at the same time, I might sit around and do literally nothing for hours on end, without so much as talking. It's what happens when you're a Gemini born in the year of the Dog, I guess. I'm just naturally bipolar, but I've not been diagnosed with it. I just.... am. 
837803 Oh I can be just the same, Aries born in the year of the chicken. There's a joke hiding in there by the way. According to my horoscope I'm a Ram-Cock. ha. ha. ha.
837766 Heh, maybe they think I'm creepy because I'm not afraid to express myself.
837816 That too tends to be ones downfall socially. Ths day in age, being yourself is a pseudo-social-taboo.
837815 Bipolar Bitch, that's me. Then again, me and Dash share a lot of base character traits. We're both loyal, excitable, but easily intimidated by the unknown, all traits of the Dog. She's not a Gemini, though, so she wasn't born in May or April. Also not a Cancer, so maybe a Pisces? I dunno, she's just not one of the zodiacs I am really able to recall.
837826 I can honestly say, I haven't the slightest fucking clue who I'm most like personality wise. I don't even know the traits associated with Aries and year of the Chicken.
837823 Och, aye, aye, which is why I am usually more myself on the internet, or with people I know and or trust. Otherwise, I'm usually a bit like a wallflower. Most of my female friends are as such because I hold back and watch instead of get into fights (like I did in my earlier yars, when I still took medication for my ADHD. The pills made me get worse than normal, hehehe), and I'm usually there if someone needs a hug or a shoulder to cry on. That's another reason I don't get many girls: I already have them, they just see me as their gay friend, because I'm "sensitive" instead of a "bad-boy". Yech.
837842
AJ's the Taurus.
Pinkie's Gemini (same as me. We share this, most of all: While impromptu and random and generally seen as none-too-bright, we have moments of strange lucidity and calm that seems to go against our "usual" hyperactiveness. But that's just the way we are. We might not seem to slow down and smell the roses, but that's because we picked them and smelled them as we continued moving forward, giving them to a friend to enjoy once we were finished.)
I'm not sure about the rest, though I think Rarity's Cancer.
837844 837859 I'm just seen as a brother by the ones that do befriend me. Fucking bullshit. What can you find out about Aries?
837874
Aries Positive Personality Traits
>>Efficient and follows through on every project they undertake.
>>Strong willed, an Aries would move mountains to attain their goals.
>>Aries' energy, vitality, and enthusiasm are an inspiration to others as they take ideas and turn them into reality.
>>Open to new experiences.
>>Courageous and confident.
>>Creative and popular, an Aries is a born leader with a strong sense of purpose.
Aries [Mostly Neutral] Personality Traits
When your fiery drive finally permits you to relax you can be sympathetic and exceptionally tender. A passionate person, you will delight in exploring all aspects of sensuality and will try anything and everything at least once (no matter what the risk). Ambition propels you through life at a dizzying pace that outlasts those with less energy and ambition. Your ruler Mars supplies you with ample energy ensuring you will never burn yourself out as new horizons urge you forward.
>>The positive Aries loves the new and the novel; they're adventurous and have a questing nature.
>>Highly independent and versatile. When new opportunities come their way, an Aries won't hesitate to take advantage of them.
>>A sociable, lively and gregarious personality.
>>Adventurous, fun and passionate as a lover.
Aries Negative Personality Traits
>>Energetic and enthusiastic to a fault; an Aries can spread their energy too thinly.
>>A quick learner, but will grow bored when others can't keep up.
>>Competitive, and sometimes single-minded in their aims, an Aries might not consider other people's needs and feelings. This can result in conflict or one-upmanship games. (Sounds like Rainbow Dash to me.)
>>One might jump to conclusions and be insensitive to what this means to others. (Are you a spy?)
>>An Aries' enthusiasm can overshadow the realities of day-to-day living and they will be loathe to do simple things like making the bed or picking up a pint of milk on the way home from work!
837909 So I'm very much like Dash.Seems fairly accurate.
837928 I almost want to see you and AJ get into a bit of a risque/intimate moment, but instead of it being sexual or anything, it's more "male vs. female" competitiveness. Like, either you two wrassle, or do something else that's competitive, like maybe a race, or something. I dunno, but you've not really butted heads much, mostly because AJ's still spaced, and a bit disconcerted, more than anything.
837928 Beg pardon for my ramblings, my mind tends to get worse when I've not slept for a few days. Insomnia does that to me.
Dude. I'm fairly sorry to hear these things. Sometimes it's hard to remember that behind the pretty, flashy screen there's actually fellow human beings. Nine times out of ten, people who are worse off than I am. It saddens me to be reminded of this. I wish I could share some of my fortune with others.
Some day...some day...
If ya need anything, I'll be here for ya. You've always seemed like a chill guy and I'd hate to see your life take a turn for the shitty without at least attempting to help out. Hope things get better for you.
Cheers, mate.
Shanenator