SSR: S3EP13 · 7:10pm Feb 16th, 2013
Well, now it's come to this. The day we've all been waiting for. When I would finally fail a chemistry exam, at the time when I could least afford it.
Juust kidding!
I'm not.
Well, but besides that, it's time to get pissed at Hasbro. And still laugh at people. My favorite two pastimes. And ranting about prof for asking stuff that literally was not even hinted at as in, "Hey, look this thing up in the books, it's important!" but just plain asked without any preparation ever.
Okay, anyhow. Wait, I got another one! Or how one prof gave out only half a script and the other literally publicated the slides he presented in class, which were absolute bullshit.
Anyhow. So it starts out with life in Ponyville being all fine and dandy (I assume so anyway, since the first 36 seconds were cut off), until Rainbow Dash cocks up the weather. Except now it's Rarity. Ha, serves her right, little bitch!
Twilight runs around, everypony fucks everything up, et cetera. Apparently, the incomplete spell Twilight got mailed supposedly from the princess which she then instantly used (seriously? Not. Like. Her.) caused a coconut wormhole, I mean, it gave every one of her friends pretty much her opposite's cutie mark and thus destiny. And they have to do exactly that even though they're absolutely shit at it.
On another note, I am now officially clairvoyant. I swear, not a day ago, I reasoned how a special talent enables, but doesn't bind, and what such a situation would result in. In fact, I even wrote a friggin' fic about it! But I am also a cinnamon twist, so don't ask me for actual, non-cryptic predictions. A clairvoyant cinnamon twist.
See, this is an interesting idea until you think about it, like buying a kilogram of sweets and having none of it survive for the third dawn after. In the mind of any slightly sensible person, Twilight would, as she can still remember how stuff used to be, and honestly, I don't see why Ponyville's remaining population shouldn't, just drag everypony back to their original workplaces and show them that a cutie mark necessarily dictating what you must do is absolute bogu- I mean, bullshit.
Which she then does. Huh. Amazing. On a side note, the singing's quite nice, but then again, when isn't it.
Alright, episode over, we're done. What do you mean, there's still ten minutes left? Oh no no no NO NO NO NONONO, I refuse!
Ugh, fine, I'm gonna have to watch it, I suppose. For the future of the many.
What can I say, Hasbro stole my ideas. Again. Again. Again. Yet again. At a point when inserting a learnt lesson would have been perfectly fine, the Elements suddenly laz0r Twilight dead- I mean, into a parallel dimension which totally does not match with my designs for the Magic Flow. There, she meets Celestia, who tells her how awesome she is and everything and I'm not looking at the screen right now because it's so bullshit, so excuse me for typo-ing...
Then she gets magicked a pair of wings, returns to Ponyville, and everything was happy ever. And she's a princess now. If you really need a detailed version of what happens in the last ten minutes, you can watch some G3.5. Yes, it's that buckety.
So, in conclusion, is this episode good? Shepard just said no, but actually, yes it is. The majority of it, anyhow. If you take it apart, it's even (almost) all good, but it's the sum that equals the parts by definition.
See, the problem I have with this is actually not Princess Twilight. I'm okay with that, if only to go against the flow. What truly bothers me here is how obviously this is a last episode. The reusing of old parts has become obvious as never, not only because they stretched the episode out no less than six fucking times with clips from previous episodes and perhaps a few puppets, but because even those puppets are nowhere near new. For an example, see Twilight walking up to the shed's door. Doesn't that seem odd? Like the animation was made for, say, an angle of 90° from the camera instead of the presented?
Really, it's become an allegory for religion. Because there's only one, and you know which. The correct answer is any answer, by the way. Really, people who passed chem (unlike me) couldn't have cheated more off of each other than relis. First there's that dude who makes everything awesome, then s/he suddenly departs and her followers convince themselves that everything is still fine, even in the face of seeing the magic made by dude fade out and the dudes dude left in charge dude everything up.
Oh yes, and they're also convinced that they're the only dudes the dude's dudes care about. Only to slowly realise, they're not. In fact, if this episode doesn't prove exactly what Hasbro is going for, I don't know what will. As if the ending tearing up plot holes and fixing none hadn't been enough (is Twilight now staying in Canterlot? Away from who literally made her what she is now? What the fuck in general?), I think the final flyby of Twilight breaks all senses of physics, logic (why would she want to do that?) and hope that it was made for anything but toy selling.
Also, I as a writer take personal offence in this "plot". Not only because it's shitty and unexplained and all, but it's entirely unnecessary and feels plainly tacked onto the remaining stuff for no other reason than because they had to bring those in somewhere. She can become an alicorn, maybe, but why so? There are literally hundreds of better ways how this could've run, and many would've even fit in with the rest of the episode.
I think we can collectively agree to scratch those ten minutes from canon memory. In fact, when Hasbro gives you shitty canon, don't make shitty excuses! Make Hasbro take the shitty canon BACK! Get mad! I don't want your shit canon, what am I supposed to do with that? Demand to see Hasbro's CM! Make Hasbro rue the day it though it could give DOCTOR AWESOME shitty canon! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your souls out! With the canon! I'm gonna get my Bleedsonas to invent a COMBUSTIBLE shitty canon that BURNS YOUR SOULS OUT!
So, I think "Ten Minutes" is settled as a next side project. Have a nice day, everypony.
Two words: the hay?!
835904 groverlawkc.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/420-grover-law.jpg?w=150
God Damn...and I thought that Hasbro would have more integrity than to piss off the majority fanbase just to sell some more toys. At least, like you said, the singing was superb...but that was it...
All in all, I agree with you completely.
835933
Marijuana? Really? DRUGS SHALL BE SMASHED!!!!!!!!!!
835933 I don't know what 420 means as well.
837827 20.4, as a civlised person would call it. Or perhaps 2012.4.20, if you're into tentacles.
As in, the day that everybody broke a quite reasonable law in an attempt to feel cool with the very thing that made them uncool.
Americans. You know how they are.
839085 OK then.... But what law? And I don't think everyone broke it.
840714 I'm pretty sure that marijuana is illegal in the states, isn't it?
That is, except for those special cases which everyone exploits...
Basically, a lot of fuckheads on facebook 'n' twitter.. That's really all you need to know.