Jan
26th
2013
(OnO) <<== This is my face at this moment. · 10:26pm Jan 26th, 2013
Under Construction now officially has more dislikes than likes. This is quite discouraging for me. .____.
If any of you peeps have read it, can you please give me some advice? Is there some fatal flaw with my story, or is it just that the general demographic isn't interested in that particular type of story? Might it possibly have something to do with the Pinkie/Jeffy shipping? (I know a lot of people have issues with non-canon pairings in stories.)
I want people to like the story, but I'm not giving up just to please folks.
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ShinethePony · 360 views
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My best guess is that most people don't like the Pinkie scene where she acts all... you know... Also, Jeff's a little OOC for how most people imagine him. That's all I can think of ATM, I'll let you know if anything else comes to me...
755070 Alright, thankx bro. I appreciate your support. -hugs-
I guess I did sort of neglect to clarify Jeff's character, although I do think the fans should cut him some slack, being unconscious with pneumonia and all. -shrugs-
Part of his back story is revealed in the next chapter; I hope that at least takes care of part of the problem.
The Pinkie thing was a mistake on my part, and, as I've mentioned in other comments before, I do intend to fix that. (Isn't it funny how one little changed detail can take the awkwardness of a scene to a whole new level?
)
I have to agree with Jeff, a couple of the ponies are just a tad out of character. I've noticed this with my stories, like Wingless for example, a couple people didn't like it because of Dash hurting somepony, even though I tried to make it look like an accident. May also be because of the swearing, however minute it may be. I had a lot of people tell me to ponify the swearing, like plot hole, bucking, and the like. Other than that, it can always be like I said in your blog, the fact that it does kind of cut off a little short to the introduction. I personally would like to know more, but I'm one of those "impatient" patient people, where I can't wait for a new chapter for whatever various reasons, but I know it's coming so I wait. A lot of people are not patient. Perhaps just wait until you can get another chapter up to see more views and likes.
755804 Thankx for your help and support as well, Wingless. c:
Other than Pinkie Pie and Jeff, which other ponies have I not portrayed correctly? The deal with Pinkie needs to stay for obvious reasons (well, obvious to me anyway... although I am going to tone it way down for other obvious reasons), but I want to make sure all the other characters stay consistent with their Hasbro-given personalities.
As for the language, I thought I could get away with that because Jeff is actually from the human world. Although, to be fair, the reader doesn't know that yet, so I can see how that might bother some people. Do you think I should make a note of the fact that he's human in the beginning of the story, or should I reveal it in a later chapter like I had previously planned?
Again, I really apologize for making you guys wait to read more. I should be getting my laptop back soon, though.
756066 It was Pinkie and Jeff that I was referring to. And I'm not saying it is in fact the language that is the problem, it's just one thing that may be the problem. The fact that Jeff is indeed a human is information that would show the need for the non-ponification of language, although I don't think it needs to be readily explained at this point. You make enough subtle hints that Jeff is a human. I cannot say for sure what precisely the problem is, sometimes it just takes a few chapters for people to get into the story. And perhaps I might say, just don't try too hard. I've been having my "Wingless" story rattle around in my head for months now. Now that I have it up, it's gotten maybe...Idk 120 views in four weeks. Just the other day I got drunk while listening to Rhianna, wrote a one chapter story about it, and it got the same amount of views in less than a day, and I REALLY wasn't trying then. I've found that it helps to kind of play the story in your head like a movie, visualize it, and only write down what stands out to you. Things that come to mind FIRST when thinking about a scene, or what a character might say. Anything else is superfluous. Also, sometimes it's just good to stand back and try and read it like you've never read it before, but i know that's hard, because one of the biggest flaws with a writer is that they can't preread/proofread their own work, because they wrote it in the way they think is correct.
That's just my advice on the whole thing, and all I can say now is don't be discouraged, keep on truckin'. If you quit and turn your back on your own work, then I have to say you deserve those down votes. Just saying. I like the story so far, and others will too, just give it time.
756114 Thankx, brony. :3
That actually is how I write my stories (see a movie play over and over in my head and then decide to write it down), so hopefully that means I'm on the right track. lawl.
I promise not to quit, because I totally agree with what you said about deserving the negative ratings if I do.
756154 I'm very glad to hear that. I see too many unfinished stories on here because they got too many down votes, even though the story is interesting and well written.
(This just hit me like a buckload of bricks) I KNOW HOW TO FIX JEFF!!! If it'll fit with the story, either give him SPD (split personality disorder), anger management issues, or extreme paranoia and/ or trust issues. THAT should get him more to be like the killer we all know and
760856 Work with me on this via PM. I want to show you the backstory I've already got for him, but I will gladly accept any ideas you throw at me.
761177
*nods* alrighty then :3 (Dear God just read JTK comic... Jeff was worse than Pinkamena, Leather Face, Jason Voorheez, Freddy Kreuger, and Jeffrey Dahmer COMBINED in that comic...)