My Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad Contest Entry

So, unfortunately, I found out all too late that meta-fics are not to be published on the site. But, I already finished the story, so I figured I might as well put it out there. Tell me what you think! WARNING: THIS STORY IS WEIRD AND STUPID.

Flurry Learns About the Parade

There have been some concerns that I am peer pressuring people....

-REDACTED

GOTH FLURRY.

GOTH FLURRY.

GOTH FLURRY.

GOTH FLURRY.

……..

GOTH FLURRY walked through the halls of the Crystal Castle, wondering what to do. She had a My Magical Romance shirt on, and obscene amounts of eyeliner. She thought she looked cool. But she did not.

Soon enough, she crossed paths with her father, Shining Armor.

“Hello, favorite daughter,” said Shining in a very forced, monotone, lifeless voice. He wasn’t even looking at her, but he stood still all the same.

It wasn’t awkward, though.

“Umm… I’m your only daughter-“

“CORRECT!” yelled Shining, still staring into oblivion.

GOTH FLURRY was a little “weirded out”, as her father did not appear to be acting normally. “Are you okay?”

A short moment of silence went by before Shining started screaming for no reason. He held out the scream for a while, effectively crescendoing as he went. His breath support was impeccable, and his technique was on point. Your singing-voice teacher cried because Shing wasn’t hurting his voice. GOTH FLURRY’s ears started to hurt, but more than anything, she was just jealous of her father’s vocalizing talent.

Shining stopped screaming. He then pulled out a ring of keys and threw them to GOTH FLURRY.

GOTH FLURRY caught the keys, and looked at her father, confused. After this, another five, moist seconds passed. Shining Armor spoke: “Here you go,” swinging his arm forward as if he were throwing something. “These are the keys to all of the rooms in the castle, and also all the other places. One of them is to the armory! You should go there first!” He stopped speaking.

After a moment GOTH FLURRY asked, “Uh… why?”

Shining Armor said nothing, while they both uncomfortably stood there for ten minutes. It was not actually uncomfortable, though. GOTH FLURRY was just confused, and trying to understand why the

Shining Armor turned around and walked directly back the way he came.

GOTH FLURRY looked down at the keys for a moment and sighed. “Eh… buck it.”

THRE CEMARA PAN CUTS TO the armory.

GOTH FLURRY stood in front of a ridiculously tall set of double doors. For some reason there were no guards there. It was convenient.

Good.

GOTH FLURRY went through each of the keys until she got frustrated and threw the bunch of keys at the doorknob. They fell to the floor, and then the door slowly creeped open. It was really creepy. The door then shut again and the correct key dragged through the air and flew into the key hole, turning the knob and opening it, and then it slowly creaked open. The correct key flew into the hole somehow, and then the door knob turned by itself, and because of that and slowly opened, and then it opened again. It was creepy.

It appeared to be pitch black inside. But then GOTH FLURRY pushed the door open further, and suddenly the yellow light bulb from Pulp Fiction lit up the room and made everything look a lot cooler and more valuable than it actually was. A fat belly.

GOTH FLURRY’s eyes lit up. “Is that what I think it is?”

“What?” asked the yellow light bulb.

“It… it’s beautiful-“

“Stop talking and wake up.”

GOTH FLURRY picked up that thing up!

“Yes! I found it! The super rare Nerf N-Strike Jolt Blaster (blue)! I could take over a small country with this.”

“That thing fires like one dart at a time, and you have to reload and cock it immediately after-“

“Well, at least I actually can reload and cock it, because I have hands,” she retorted smugly.

“No, you don’t.”

GOTH FLURRY slowly looked down at her hands… they were not there. Instead, she had two cylindrical stumps flattened at the end. She didn’t even have fingers.

Her eyes widened as the existential horror of things happened in her head. She screamed bloody murder, KILLING HERSEWF IN THE PPRRROOOOOOO…….

In a cold sweat, she shot up from her pillow.

Flurry breathed rapidly, her consciousness flailing back into reality. She quickly calmed down as she remembered where she was, her head feeling a little heavy. Soon, Flurry started to laugh, remembering the way her dad had acted in the dream. She wondered why she had even felt afraid.

“But wow… never had a dream like that, before….”

She got out of bed and walked over to a light switch, turning on a chandelier in the center of the ceiling. The room illuminated, and the bright light hit Flurry’s eyes, her eyelids scrunching in response. She looked around her bedroom, allowing her eyes to adjust. It was still dark outside.

Flurry left her bedroom and lazily clopped through the halls of the castle, the lighting dim most of the way to the kitchen.

When Flurry arrived, her father was sitting at a counter, eating cookies. He was reading Equestria Daily. Shining Armor looked up and acknowledged her.

Flurry smirked as she walked over to the fridge. “So that’s where all the cookies are going.”

She scanned the fridge for anything of interest. In the end she just decided to fill a glass with water. She guzzled it.

“Somepony’s thirsty,” said Shining, as he bit into another cookie.

Flurry turned. “I had a… really weird dream.”

“A nightmare?”

“Not really… well, yes, but I don’t really know why it was scary. Most of it was just silly.”

“What was it about?”

“It wasn’t really about anything, it was just… well, you gave me some keys to everywhere or something. One of the keys went to the castle armory, so I went inside and… I don’t know, past that, it didn’t make much sense.” She took another swig, a little less desperate than the last.

Shining pulled another cookie out of the bag, biting off half of it. With a full mouth, he asked: “You’re still going to that concert tomorrow, right?”[JP1]

Her ears perked up at the mention of it. “Yeah, should be. My Magical Romance. It’s mainly them I’m going for. They’re the second opener.”

Shining cocked an eyebrow. “And… I’m assuming the one on your shirt is the headliner?”

Flurry looked confused. She glanced down at her shirt. She looked back up at her father. “Umm… there the same band.”

His chewing slowed, and he swallowed. “They have two different names?”

“Uh… no.”

“Did you misspeak then? Was that the name of another band?”

Flurry only looked more confused. “I… what did I say?”

“Well…” Shining began. “You referred to them as ‘My Magical Romance’, but your shirt says: ‘Your Regrettable Vengeance’.”

She squinted in thought for a moment. A thought occurred to her.

“Oh… yeah, yeah, no, that’s what they’re called. I mean it’s the shirt, the… the shirt is the name….” Flurry brought a hoof to her forehead, chuckling a bit as she rubbed it.

Shining passively nodded in understanding. “Alright, then,” he finished and stood up. He walked over to the pantry and put the cookies away.

“Well, either way, you should get some sleep. You look pretty tired, but Aunt Twilight won’t be, that’s for sure,” he remarked.

Flurry chuckled. “Yah.”

He made his way to a doorway. “Goodnight, Flurry,” he said, smiling softly at her before disappearing past the frame, his hoof-steps fading slowly into the halls of the deep castle.

Flurry pondered in silence as the faint echoes grew fainter and soon dissipated completely.

She downed the last of the water. She lightly rinsed it and left it in the sink. She took one deep, tired breath. In, and out.

Then she heard an unrecognizable voice coming down the hall. The same one she entered through. It babbled and mumbled loudly, sporadically. Sloppy, uneven hoof-steps moved along with it. Flurry couldn’t hear any discernable words, although the voice was getting closer.

But before she could even attempt to understand the speech of the voice, the hoof-steps abruptly stopped, and the voice quietly faded.

A long, uncomfortable silence hung over Flurry’s head. Over the room. As if a vacuum had sucked up all the air.

Then she heard it.

Just outside the door, just beyond the borders of the frame, a cracking, dissonant voice quietly asked: “goth… Flurry?”

Her heart pounded in her chest even harder as she heard her name. It sounded like more than one voice. Multiple voices, speaking in unison at varying pitches.

Without warning, a grey mare stepped into the frame of the door. She stood just at the edge of the darkness, so the alicorn saw only a faded silhouette, a figure barely illuminated by the dimly lit lights around the sink in the center of the kitchen. There was nothing but black beyond the shape in the doorway.

The thing before her chuckled excitedly.

“It… it r-really is you….”

Flurry said nothing.

“I just thought I-I’d… c-come to tell, you that it’ll be time soon….”

Flurry was already too terrified to speak. But she gulped, and ventured: “T-time for what?”

The mare couldn’t control herself, and she let out an explosive burst of laughter. But she quickly stopped herself, her hoof darting to the location at which her mouth appeared to be.

“O-oh… I’m sorry… you don’t k-know… how could you?”

The mare held herself back and began:

“It’s time… to-to, join the parade. Oh, I’m so excited… I know you’ll love it….”

She let out an unrestrained giggle before she stopped herself again. Flurry stood there, frozen in fear as the mare attempted to continue.

“You’ll all be so happy there…. And tomorrow? Tomorrow is your finest hour… your darkest moment…. I’ll be waiting there… f-for you…. A-and, when the *REDACTED* leaves your lungs… I’ll be there… to take you away….”

She started to get worked up again, breathing at a rapid pace.

“You know… it was all a gag… a hoax… I never r-really cared about Shining Armor… he’s nothing compared to you…. Goth. Flurry. Is. Everything!”

Flurry looked down at her shirt, shivering as she spoke up.

“Uh… you know, I-I really wouldn’t call myself goth….”

The entity’s voice exploded into what seemed to be a cough, but it sounded more like a distorted speaker playing car noises.

“I mean, they told me I was crazy- *BLEEP BLEEP* they told me I was insane… they said, *REDACTED* it’s just goth Flurry, you need to calm down….”

She chuckled nervously, teetering off in a sinister manner.

“To which I responded, GOTH FLURRY IS LITERALLY THE MEANING OF ALL EXISTENCE- *burp* *DOLPHIN NOISES*.”

She coughed in a frenzied burst, the eruptions jumping back and forth between natural clearness, and distorted fuzz, the earlier polyphony returning with a vengeance to create a dissonant symphony of mindless noise.

“I said, GUYS… you CLEARLY don’t understand… *REDACTED* told me… he TOLD ME everything… and he told me you can all join… it’s okay… the parade ALWAYS HAS ROOM FOR ONE MORE!!” The mare shook violently as she yelled.

“But they… they were… they d-didn’t want to join… th-they… WHAT?!”

She entered a madly uncontrollable state of laughter, almost to the point of choking.

“So I made them… into… into *REDACTED*. And NOW THEY’RE A LOWER FORM… they may have *REDACTED* you, but I *REDACTED* THEM! *REDACTED* has given me complete… and utter control over all those beneath his MAJESTY!”

She started hyperventilating. Her control was slipping.

“I know I should have w-waited, but I just couldn’t… I had to meet you… th-they told me you weren’t ready, that breaking the wall would…. Ha-HA-hugh- *ERROR ERROR* SO I TOLD THEM not to worry about it and just keep *$E'2Q(3WBV1!,*, I’m so EXCITED, first, I’ll have you join, and then, I’ll get the rest, and then I’ll make more, and more, and more, and more and more and more and MORE….”

The being came to an abrupt stop, the space-like silence resurging once more.

Tears streamed down Flurry’s eyes, and snot oozed down her nose as she sat on the floor, huddled against the counter.

The mare’s breathing died down slowly, eventually crawling to a deceptive calm.

“In the end… the only thing that matters… is GOTH FLURRY.”

The princess scrunched her eyes shut as she prepared for whatever the monster before her had planned.

But instead, Flurry waited… and waited… and nothing happened.

She mustered the courage to open her eyes. When she looked, the mare was nowhere to be seen. Without a sound, gone.

Flurry stood up hesitantly, anxiously lurching as she scoped the area around her. Nothing.

She quivered restlessly, unable to move from her spot.

“Dad!” yelled Flurry weakly, still barely able to speak.

***

Shining Armor snored loudly, deep into the REM stage, his mind filling with images of cookies. A little drool dripped from his mouth.