Live your lives

I've come once more to poke in, say hi, do a thing. It's been a while since I first popped into this site, a cringe worthy teenager. Socially inept and socially inexperienced. I'd lived under some terrible burdens at the time, and the simplicity but down to Earth brightness of ponies got me through my darker periods. I could smile, laugh, follow along with every song. I cannot stress enough how much that helped me.

Then, digging through the less uh... dark territory of fan works of our favorite pony show, I came across a read through on Youtube of a fanfiction called Past Sins. For those who don't know, to boil it down, NMM is a separate entity, and a botched resurrection ritual to bring her back left Twilight with an adorable little filly that resembled a giant mare rather scarily closely. So as to not spoiler anything, all I'll say is I plan to reread it through after so many years of having not read it, and I 100% recommend it.

But that fic, in my impatience to consume more of that story with the incomplete videos, and being a reader myself, led me to this site. Wow! A wonderful site entirely dedicated to pony fanfiction? An entire world of fiction I've yet to discover? And a story, right there, one of the first I'd ever read, both in fanfiction and on this site. This one bit of impatience has led me down quite the path. From then to now, I've joined Discord, met people I never thought I'd meet, made friends I never thought I'd have, and enjoyed more things than I'd ever dreamed. I've joined servers to and fro, left more things behind, lost friends and gained friends. And, in due time, as I lost interest in Fimfic and moved on to other fanfiction sites for a time, I grew. I matured, and I looked back with a wince and didn't want to look again. But, having recently been reminded of that fic I'd read from so long ago, I return once more, nostalgia setting into every bone in my body. My heart hurts. I... in my lack of experience and in youthful ignorance, I'd made a lot of rushed, stupid, idiot decisions. I wish I could go back, but I cannot. Hell(Tartarus!), I can't even get into contact with a couple of the people I used to be in regular contact with here. I've been on Discord and been digging through other sites so long, my notifications had built up, left to be cleared out so I can never find them again(and boy doesn't THAT grate nerves).

I guess to summarize, I lost sight of this place and why I stuck around for so long, but at the same time, I'd moved on for a long time. I'm not the same I was yesterday. I'm different. I wish I had the capacity to write a love letter to this site, this community, the wonderful people here, and the places I'd been. I wish I wasn't dealing with narcolepsy and insomnia and aches and pains I can't get rid of. I wish I could fucking SIT DOWN and FOCUS on things, at the VERY LEAST. Being unable to focus and being unable to get up and move is actual torture.

And here I sit, 23, desiring to go back, desiring to move on, wanting to sit and wanting to do. Stuck in the past, and yearning for a future.
Live your lives. Live in the moment. As best you possibly can. You can't get that back. You will never replicate those feelings. Those moments. Those lost seconds? Minutes? Hours? You won't get them back. Don't hurry up. Sit in those moments. Enjoy them. Let them last. Talk to your friends, you won't know when you'll actually see them again. Love your family, if they're not horrible terrible people. You might not get to tomorrow. In a few hours. Five minutes from now. Your dogs and cats? Give them affection. Share a treat with them, if it's healthy for them to eat, and if not get them something. They love you more than another human being ever could. Live. Live in every single moment you have left. You may not be here tomorrow. Or you may lose the chance to do what you wanted to and didn't yesterday. Every day is a new day. Live that day.

Thank you, and I'll see y'all later.
Gizmo/Mdbgamer