End of Mortality

It seems as though this story is the most popular of the stories I've posted thus far. As many of you have pointed out grammar matters. Have a heart. I'm not skilled as a writer or with grammar, unfortunately...Of all the possible things that could happen for prospective writers, this is probably the worst possible thing. In either case I'll be updating the End of Mortality story probably at some point in the next week or so. If anyone has suggestions for the bad grammar or someone who can do proofreading I'm all ears.