The same author asked me to edit another story.

The same author asked me to edit another story. Being asked to edit again gives you a feeling of accomplishment.

It was a shorter, one-shot porn. But featured a drunk pony. And drunk ponies are fun!

I do have one critique about the story/author. I just want them to get in to the moment more. I think the author lacks describing how the people/ponies involved feel about.... well, everything. How does it physically feel? What can be done to make the sex just that bit "more?" How do the participants feel about each other? Now that they went from "friends" to "friends with benefits," how will their dynamic change (which was briefly addressed.)

This is not my story, so I didn't embellish it. And I left it more true to the author's original version.
I actually want to see the author publish both versions again (his original and the one with my edits). It would allow the readers a chance to see the author's original version and compare to how my edits might have changed things.
If you are a reader who happened to have read the story, feel free to discuss if you think my edits changed the original vision in any way.