Sick · 6:24pm Aug 31st, 2023
First off: I'm not hospitalized, and I'm not asking for money. Just miserable.
This has not been a good month. I can get a weird sort of reverse seasonal depression, where my mood will tank in the summer and get better as I head toward fall and winter, but if it were just that, well... I'm a writer. I'd just spill it all across the page, maybe write several bits of flash fiction for the occasion as I work some of the bad feelings out. I can function through that.
Instead, I have steadily kept being physically unwell. Here, Silver, have several days of intestinal upset. Here Silver, have the worst flare up of your chronic migraines that you've had in ages to remind you that they will never be perfectly managed and will sometimes hit you with the force of a sledgehammer even if you do everything right. Here Silver, have some vomiting. Here Silver, have days where you're starving but have to tear the house apart looking for something you can put in your mouth that won't make your body go into a full state of NOPE. Here Silver, let's add a dash of insomnia on top of this stack of awfulness, as a treat.
(When it comes to TTRPGs outside of my usual wheelhouse of science fiction and science fantasy, I'm a fan of Vampire: The Masquerade. Lately I've been finding both the nocturnal existence of the vampires and the violent retching that results when they try to eat anything that isn't blood relatable in the worst way.)
I want to write. I am brimming with desire to write. And I've been falling short of my goals of the month because just sitting at the computer can be exhausting on a day when I have trouble keeping food down. When eating isn't going so well, my body wants to sleep, to say nothing of the urge to sleep that also comes with summer heat.
When you spend a lot of time in bed, you lose track of what day it is, and a pounding head can make someone forgetful. So I have PMs to catch up on. And some Discord DMs. Apologies to those who've been kept waiting on both. I'll sort it all out as fast as I can.
At least it's almost September.
