So here is the happy go lucky ending where I make up some random justification as to why this is a punishment and then bring Twilight back as an alicorn.

Yeah.

1145633 This is what I mean. My computer likes to screw with me. Fixing those up now

I definitely like both endings, and I'm thinking about what could happen next for the non-canon ending. Stupid author instincts. o_o

Thank you for the happy ending :3

...

Story sequel to the happy ending? :V

1145921 I'm glad you liked both and if you want to write a non-canon ending feel free, just please leave a link to this fic?
1146012 =laughs= I may write a oneshot if them reuniting if there's enough demand. Maybe.

1146028 Alrighty then!

Honestly, I don't even know what to say. But I do kinda feel that the Cannon ending you made does make more sense to me. Even in an all sense of death, you have to pay for your sins.
Either way, Congrats on finishing the story, and I'm gonna look forward to whatever comes next from you.

1146060 Tell me when you post it!
1146064 Yeah, cannon ending makes a lot more sense. Heh, just posted up a blog post explaining what's coming up next and when to expect it, so check it out

1146087 I shall. It may not be for a while, since I'm working on National Pony Writing Month, so maybe in September.

1146097 Don't worry about it. I don't mind at all

1146028 Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand! Demand!

Will you make it now?

1146184 Yes? No? Maybe?

Really great! A run beyond belief that left me completely and utterly satisfied!~

Just like "Arby" I definitely enojyed both endings... although I wouldn't call this ending so much as happy I will forever remember this story!

Just a quick question though... When shall we see another "Master Piece" coming from you again???

1146269 Well this is what I get for not refreshing the page after I finish reading the stories

1146269
Woo! Glad you enjoyed it that much, though calling it a "Master piece" is a tad over the top if you ask me. And yep, more stuff in the work even as we speak.

I would to see a sequel one-shot, if only for the look on Celestia's face. I liked both endings, though the canon one was kinda harsh. 'See how badly you fucked up? Bummer for you. Here, have some more!' Still liked it though, made sense. Looking forward to further works in the future!

1147106 Yeah, it was harsh, but it made sense.

1146012 damn it yes i want the freaking sequel to the happy ending as well maybe with Celestia finding her after a couple century's of sacrifice. or maybe have a mix of the two endings where she suffers a couple Millenia of torment seeing seeing what could've been, then she is thrust into an Equestria where the pony's still barely recognize her. but still recognize her for the cruelties and evils she ha wrought and she spends a few more centuries trying to help the pony's and make their lives better moving from town to town, before accidentally running into one of the eight princesses while she's in her unicorn form. only three of the princesses would recognize her at about that time celestia, luna, and rainbow dash. what happens after that it up to anyone's imagination. also i think the cannon ending was in many ways a lot softer than the happy ending cause then she doesn't have to do anything she gets to watch how happy equestria is and whatnot not to mention after a few centuries she'd probably forget that the images/memories were false. so in almost every way that judgment was being very nice to her. maybe not initially but after a bit definitely. o and trixies going to be the net nightmare just calling it now and just saying.

O please tell me what you think about that idea? then again if you don't i might if i keep getting writers block. that is if you don't mind.

cheers

It may just be me but I see the "canon" ending as flawed. It is called eternal punishment. But if she is experiencing the life of "canon" Twilight it can't be much of an "Eternal Punishment" because sooner or later she is going to die, unless she is going to relive everything again and again. That ending is good as a punishment with an expiration date, eternal it ends with her getting bored and probably crazier, after enough repeats I can just picture a scene:
"And now is when the flower pot falls on her head, then the anvil, the cart, and finally the piano. Isn't there another channel on this thing? I´m sooo bored..."
On the other hand I can't see the happy in the happy ending without a happy reunion, for the 8 princesses, well 7 of them, they are mourning Twilight, and Twilight here is alone with her nightmares and conscience. Here Twilight's punishment IS potentially without end, and not only does she end up without her desired rest on oblivion, she doesn't even get the respite she would get while reincarnated should she be sent to Tartarus. I can't see why you call that random justification, considering the character you have created, the happy ending is the bigger punishment between the two options.
Also I'm not calling them bad endings. As I said this is my point of view, others may see and say otherwise, but I can't see the eternal on one ending or the happy on the other without some kind of expansion, be it an extra epilogue or a sequel. If you didn't add the "Eternal Punishment" bit and the Happy in the title I don't see anything wrong with the endings.

1147849
The way I viewed it was that there are an infinite number of parallel universes and therefore, an infinite number of lives Twilight can live. Though maybe "eternal" was a tad too harsh or too over the top if you will.

=laughs= I felt people may have taken the good ending as me sort of saying "Twilight did a bunch of evil crap, but hey! She gets the reward of becoming a Princess!" type of thing so I just cut it out really. I only called it the "Happy" ending because Twilight comes back and it's implied they'll all meet again.

plz sequel to happy ending

1148266 Maybe?

I prefer the other ending actually. Especially now that I read that comment about her living in parallel universes. If all the tumblrs and fanfics are anything to go by, then she'll be going on for a while.

I like this ending too, mainly because Twilight gets the chance to make up for what she did. Sure, she became a complete and utter monster but here she proves that's she willing to be punished for her actions.

Conclusion, great story. One of my favoritedark Twilight fanfics ever.

1148573
I felt as though Punishment was more a subsection of Justice hence the name, but yeah, Justice is a bit too happy with how things.
Thanks! I really wanted to avoid the "Everything was perfect again" thing so I'm glad you liked it.

1149416
It's both. The majority of the time she'll be a bystander, but every so often she'll experience it just as an extra punch to the gut to make her really, really suffer. Enough people have been confused by this that I might rewrite it to make it clearer. As to your eternal punishment question, I really don't know. I doubt it'll be eternal, but it'll certainly be for a very long time.
=laughs= Yeah. Erasing herself to escape punishment is rather extreme isn't it?

1149428
Agreed. The happy ending as a sense of redemption to it and that's a theme I've always enjoyed.
Thanks! Glad you think so highly it.

Write a one-shot of a couple of centuries or a thousand years later after 'happy ending'? Please?

wow i wouldn't call this ending happy because the other ending is not self punishment but in psychology self punishment is considered one of the worst kinds especially if you like twilight originally was err mental wise i mean someone being bored to death is not as bad as seeing what you cause and prevented everyday with nightmares of your deeds so i would not call this ending a crappy punishment either granted ill read the sequel if its being made as long as its not slice of life i hate having to read rebuilding processes

1152896 1152955
Her sould did disintegrate, Justice just pieced it back together again for the sole purpose of punishing her. Vindictive, no?
People keep requesting that from me! Maybe when I've got time.

1152994 1153321
I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Though there are a bit too many errors for it to be a a book...

1156568 1156624
Yay me?
I should have named the chapter "The relatively happier ending" or, you know, the fact that I consider the second ending "Happy" says something about the entire fic (and me as well probably)

1158366 Mind expanding your second point further? Not entirely sure what you're trying to say

Heh You finally put it up here. Well i should not be surprised, I still read the story off my phone from the fanfiction app.

1159283 Yep! Finally

1159340 Even now, as i know its up here i still read if off the phone because its a little darker for me, here when i do dark it only darkens the area of text and leaves two white bars on either side.

1169934 Amusingly I wrote the happy ending first and everyone has an issue with the "eternity" bit it seems. Heh, check out my blog post for what I'm planning in the future

1200728
I was wondering when you were going to comment =evil chuckle= I should start keeping a tally of how many people cried and then compare it to my next multichapter fic.

This is supposed to be a happy ending, but it still left me feeling like crap almost as much as the canon ending.

I enjoyed this story, apart from the Alicorn-shapeshifting.

1205796
=laughs= I'm seriously thinking of changing the title to "The Happier Ending" or "The One Where Twilight Comes Back" just so people will stop commenting on the fact that it's not that happy

Loved this story man. thanks for writing it!!!!

1261568
You're welcome! I had a lot of fun writing it myself (and seeing all your reactions to the evil stuff I put the characters through)

I just read through this story and I have to say,
Although the plot line was good, and it did manage to draw a few emotions out of me (the 1st ending actually made me tear up a little), the setting, however, wasn't always clear, making it really frustrating to try and picture it in my head, get a feel for the mood, and think of the relevance of everything that occurs in the story. Really did not like the final fights (too damn dbz-ish), they turned this fanfic into the equivalent of a shonen anime.

But in order to fully understand constructive criticism, you must first understand the position of the reader. I say the setting is bad yet I mostly read sad and torture fics, both of which HEAVILY rely on scene building. Also I tend to over think alot, as you may have noticed from the fact that I am currently finding the confounding variables of my reading experience and using it to help you interpret the constructive criticism.
Regardless, Anyone that can write a fanfiction this long and it doesn't turn to shit halfway through is good in my book.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take an aspirin, this comment has given me a massive headache.

1282443
When you say setting, do you mean actual description of where they are and so forth or the greater setting in terms of the setting of the plot? I'm assuming it's the first option and if so, it's something my friends have commented on as well and something I will definitely be working on. I just find it hard to strike the right balance of how much to describe and when do to so without disrupting the flow of the story. And yeah, you're the third(?) person to comment on the final fight.

You know, have you ever considered how freaking dangerous alicorn AJ would be? What with her occasional skitsing out about truth and what not, she's a freaking alicorn! How scary would that be to have her turn on you eyes burning, mane floating and the air crackling thick with magic? That's the sort of shit someone would need to go into therapy over. I mean, she's a princess now. How dangerous would it be to put her in a room full of politicians, or even worse, a government agency along the line of the CIA or something?
Just a random thought I had.

1291174
Well I did mention she is/was/will be going into therapy (or at least I was meaning too) so yeah. It's pretty damn crazy stuff. Good thing there are seven other alicorns around to keep her in check if it does get crazy. Hey, that'd be an awesome grim dark alternative ending! AJ goes insane, and they're all forced to kill AJ causing Pinkie/Pinkamina to split and/or go even more insane and since she can warp reality much like Discord, it'll be like fighting him again. Oh, and of course they'll end up killing her as well. Of course, there'll be the internal turmoil of RD to play with, Fluttershy dealing with the whole "Kindness" thing again except worse now. Trixie and Rarity I'm unsure of, but it could be interesting.

Oh dear, seems like you've given me another insane idea that sounds totally awesome!

I randomly stumbled upon this:
http://mushrooshi.deviantart.com/art/Happy-Violence-328034526

I instantly thought it was perfect for this fic

1301244 Yes. Yes it is. Time to ask if I can use that pic!

Edit: Got permission!

can u make a sequel please

1303966
Maybe. Enough people have asked, but I've got more pressing stuff right now (assignments, more interesting fics), but it's on my list

1332659
Ah yes, the opening. It was a bit of an odd place to start, but that was a stylistic choice on my part because I didn't want to do a long drawn out intro with Twilight arriving and all that jazz. I felt that skipping straight to the aftermath of their failure would make the fic 'pop' a bit more and I was willing to take the risk of confusion to do that. Another reader or two did comment on how it was a tad confusing and looking back on it now, I can say that I probably could have made it a lot clearer.

As for your point two, it was a weird mix. I had an idea of what caused the failure (Twilight going to the library like she originally wanted rather than doing her duties), but I wasn't sure how it caused the failure. In the end I settled down on the friendship canon not being powerful enough (not close enough friends) and taking too long to charge up (and Nightmare Moon not standing around like an idiot). It was always something that was meant to be hinted at and toyed with. A mystery that wouldn't be revealed until later on in the fic.

Oh no. Don't remind me about the missing spaces. For some weird reason why I transfer files between comps spaces go missing and it's a major hassle to clean up each and every single time and by that stage, it's been through my editor and prereader as well so some do slip through. My single biggest annoyance ever.

Thanks! I really wanted to focus on the psychology of war and how virtues can be twisted into vices or just corrupted.

Twilight is actually really interesting. When I started out writing I did want her to be a hero and I did want a happy ending (in fact, the original ending was a happy one), but in the course of the writing I felt giving her a happy ending almost felt like a reward for her actions. So very slowly I began turning her into the antagonist, and yet not the antagonist at the same time. It was really hard trying to get any tension going when Twilight was working from the inside so I really had to push the insanity aspect and the consequentialist thinking to the extreme. In the end, she ended up where she was. Realising she was a monster and that she deserves nothing.

Just finished my slice of life, semi-TwiDash fic. First chapter (of three) will hopefully be posted this Friday (GMT+12) some time and I've been working on my next multichapter sad/semi-dark fic so hopefully you'll see some stuff real soon so keep an eye out!

I only lasted 4 chapters till my suspension of disbelief with the guards actions crumbled. I just don't feel they would be loyal to Nightmare Moon just days after a coup. I looked through the comments for an explanation, might have missed it

1493862
That actually comes up waaaaaay later where it is revealed a decent chunk of them are working against Nightmare Moon while pretending to be working with her (ie. taking her down from the inside). There's also the whole aspect of making the best out of a crap position. Could I have made it all clearer? Probably and truth be told, I didn't really think about that when I first started writing so yeah, that's my fault. I'm fairly certain I make mention of the Wonderbolt's being attacked/chased/whatever, but that's really not the entire guard now is it?

1493900
It just seemed kinda odd how they had been trained to server Equestria and Princess Celestia, but at the first signs of trouble they go belly up and switch allegiances. Even if they did go turn-coat on Celestia, Nightmare Moon would rightly doubt their motives; best option being expunge all of them. Sorry if I seem hypercritical, but it is situations like these that break my belief in the story since they don't match up with the canon world.

1493948
Don't apologise, this is one of those major plot holes I should have seen and filled up. I totally agree with you, that is one of the few things that would totally break my suspension of disbelief as well so it's totally a valid claim to make. I did consider the expunging angle, but I wanted NMM to come across as being a half way decent so I decided not to.