Nightmare Moon's returned and Twilight captured. In order to survive she must sacrifice everything
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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First of all, a shout out to y1fellas who's my primary prereader focusing more on concepts and flow and stuff than actual editting. I've also got some doing editting work and is currently going through the early chapters to get them on par. Currently, said person does not wish to be named until they're caught up so watch this space. Now, on to my ramblings!
Oh! Almost forgot, but is my fic being discussed somewhere? Because all throughout the past few weeks I've been getting random fav's and stuff and I'm just curious.
As you can no doubt tell, I went for Rule of Cool rather than realism in this chapter. It's meant to be crazy over the top action scene that showing off their respective powers. I've got Rarity with archery, AJ with earth, Fluttershy with nature, Trixie with magic, RD with weather and Pinkamina doing whatever it is she does (namely breaking physics). I also decided to use the Zodiacs because it'd be awesome.
For Rarity, I made a big deal out of her using glass tipped arrows and this chapter, I wanted to take that a step further with a diamond tipped one. From the way I described it, I hope it was suitably epic. Also, I couldn't resist throwing in a shout out to her dramatic nature and the loss of her tail. For AJ, I wanted to show she's not useless and is in fact, pretty damn powerful. I mean, throughout the story thus far, she hasn't done a lot of cool stuff and this chapter was basically me making up to all you AJ fans.
Pinkamina is waaaaaaaay out there this chapter. Breaking physics left, right and centre as well as drinking blood from stars. Yeah, she's out there. RD on the otherhand, I went for a magic knight feel with her using electrically charged attacks and using lightning with insane speeds. The ending is a bit anti-climatic though, but I didn't want every fight to be climax after climax. It works more as a lull than anything else.
Finally we get to Fluttershy and Trixie. All I can say is, Fluttershy is scary. I wanted to draw on her from previous chapters with an insane sense determination and almost cold blooded-ness. Trixie on the other hand is pure power and showing off her actually trying to protect her friends.
Celestia vs Nightmare Moon was interesting to write. I show that they are fighting each other, but not in the traditional sense. It is a lot more symbolic and spiritual in nature. And of course, Gaia appears and reveals Twilight made it into the Underworld safe and sound.
And then I drop the bomb. This will probably make some readers really happy and others really annoyed. If you're annoyed, hold back the criticisms and just wait. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.
1019932
Actually, that's more my writing style. I don't really plan anything so I just throw ideas at the page and see which ones stick. That means a lot of foreshadowing doesn't originally look like foreshadowing (for example, the Queen's Sacrifice) while others seem like foreshadowing, but aren't because I dropped the idea. It's just my writing style.
Also, next chapter is up
ohohohoohoh!
i'll edit as im done reading. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png
1019987
By caught up, I meant caught up editting. Currently they've editted the first five chapters so... yeah...
And I was just about to say there was no way you could have finished a 7800 word chapter that quickly
1020021
Im done now though, and i have mixed feelings about this chapter, having more or less every part of the mane 5+trixie have a fight scene, and a rather lengthy one too might tickle some people's fancy, but not mine, i found it slightly dragged out.
BUT.
You saved it with bringing Twi back, i love you with the force of a thousand moons.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
shame that i have to be in fangirl mode, i wish i could give you feedback that actually helps.
err.. how long do you plan to torture us with this "cliffhanger"? i REALLY want to know how epicly, buckingly amazingly hard Twi will save the day.
You'd better have a reasonable explanation for this...despite the fact that I was hoping that final scene would happen.
1020185
Yeah, it was lengthy, but I felt jumping straight to Nightmare Moon without any sort of build up or resistance to be even worse. In the original plan it was meant to be "Twilight kills herself" and then "Fight Nightmare Moon".
A week? I plan on writing about half of the next chapter today and then finishing off over the next week, but considering essays and stuff... bleh. I hate essays.
1020194
For Twilight? I do.
I'm so glad that I found this on DeviantArt.
1020209
i can see why you wrote that, and i have nothing against it, some people might love that kind of stuff, im not one of those.
preferences! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png
a week + - a day or two, i can live with that!
1020244
Hopefully. I'm planning on finishing the next chapter this weekend if possible (to procrastinate on doing actual work)
1020250
procrastination is your friend! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png
I'm off to bed, thanks for making my night though!
I was hoping Twilight was going to stay dead...
1020324
Like I said, trust me. I know what I'm doing.
1020328 Oh I have no doubt that it'll be good, no matter what it is. Personally, I just feel like Twi' can have more of an impact as a corpse at this stage in the game. Or at least be more of a tragic character that way.
Okay, I am not going to lie. You have managed to recapture my interest of your writings with the rebirth of Twilight. When I saw that you had updated, it took me a good hour and a half to work up the courage to read it. Now, I must say that I am glad I did. You sir, are a good writer, Well done, and thanks. Can't wait to see how Twilight works out in her new position.
HNNG, Twilight's alive.
GAIA. Y U NO LET WORLD HANDLE ITSELF? You did on Captain Planet.
Bipolar biiiitch.
1020514
Yes she is. She's alive.
=laughs= Basically? Yep.
1020551 She just spews Gaia to me. All earthly 'n stuff.
1020557 Well she is called Gaia and she does represent the earth so...
And your fanbase now sighs a sigh of relief for now Twilight has made a reappearance.
Now the major question I wonder is if she's here to stay. I'll keep my opinions to myself this time since I THINK I know how you might play it out, but I want to see how you manage it. All in all, I actually agree with Equestrialize in terms of the fight scene and I share her preference in terms of how the fight scene went down, but I still like how Twilight waltzed in at the end. Oh well, Good chapter and here's to another week of waiting.
1020607
Tell meeeeeeeeeee. Seriously, I love hearing what my readers think will happen and don't worry, no matter what you say, I will deny it and if you manage to guess right, I might even change it to annoy you. So tell meeeeeee
foams from mouth dies from heart attack. "i die happy this day twilight has been resurrected by none other than gaia. thank you very much. now celestia has a chance of surviving the nightmare. cheers"
1020324
your death shall be slow and painful
1020657
lol Fine, just cuz I like your story that much. I get the feeling that it's only a ghost of Twi since they did end up burying her body, as well as having it been destroyed further by animals, AND there is the internal damage from the sun. So unless you plan to tell everypony that Gaia has the power to do what Celestia couldn't and also make Gaia a grave robber... I would be led to believe that Twi's actual body is still in the ground somewhere and Gaia just brought Twi's spirit/ghost in to help. Also helps how you kept Twi silent too. Now, Reject my ideas and prove me wrong or else I fear some of your fans are gonna rabidly attack me for saying Twi should still be dead
1020881
Oooooooh, not bad, but you're wrong. And I'm fairly certain my rabid fans would get to me first if I did something like that.
1020911
naw, they'd let you live. They'd have to or else it would never be changed. I, on the other hand, am not necessary to make or cause any changes The writer is always golden, regardless of what people say... unless they want you to stop writing.
1020943
=laughs= Oh, I don't know...
...
.....
....... SO HAPPY! As much as I like dramatic deaths, dramatic rebirths are also just as fun! I also have my suspicions as to whether or not she's gonna stick around, but at least now she can have some closure with all her friends. And get to officially meet Luna in the flesh, as it were. So glad I thought to check this early!
1021040
Tell meeeeeee. Seriously people, tell me your theories. Best case scenario is that I say you're wrong even though you're right and worst case scenario is that you're right so I rewrite the fic so that you're wrong. Tell meeeeeee your theories!
Ok, ok, jeez. :) I think Gaia brought her back temporarily to help in the fight, but when everything is over and done with, she'll take her back with her to wherever. Fairly simple and prolly not what's really gonna happen, but well... Her death was pretty, I dunno... final? Unless Gaia can make brand new bodies outta dirt or something...
1021270
Interesting concept, but wrong =chuckles= And yes, I do say that no matter what you say.
Oh sweet celestia... why do you have to torture us with cliffhangers like this T.T, though I am very glad you didnt leave twilight to stay dead :), she is my fav pony and totally kick ass :D
1021286
I can't believe that no one predicted Twi would come back after you dropped the biggest hint In the form of 'spirit realm'
Can't wait to see why she's back in your next chapters, and I love you for putting this up
1021821
That... actually wasn't a hint...
1021844
Eh, it lead me to believe Twi would come back. Although, through it, I was lead to believe that Celestia would talk to Twi in the spirit realm and it would work itself out from there.
1021863
Well ultimately you guessed right
1020709
Don't mean to be a douche but... In case you haven't noticed this author (Yeah Orphius, I'm talking about you) has done a great job of putting Twilight through a fate worse than death, and that was before she was actually dead. Answer me this: do you honestly well and truly believe that her coming back is not gonna be worse for her than simply staying dead? The way I'm guessing it'll be, Orphius has some truly horrible Faustian bargain planned out for this little resurrection. And yes I am his editor (mind you I'm a terrible one) so he does occasionally bounce ideas off me but no he has not told me that's what's happened so no that's not a spoiler. I'm just saying, don't get your hopes up for Twilight's future just yet.
1019962
Thanks for the shout out but it's really not necessary and sort of pointless until I get my next stories out the door.
1022075 I'll probably do another shout out in a journal post once the fic is over.
Zombie Twilight
1022492
Zombie Twilight is best Twilight?
1019962 Your just going to end the chapter like that?! How cruel can you be?! This is the most awesome and epic story I have ever read! You can't just torture us by ending it there! we need more!
img.ponibooru.org/_images/517df80ad9bafe2880071721d3af5f8f/128470%20-%20animated%20apple_bloom%20panic%20WACKY_WAVING_INFLATABLE_ARM_FLAILING_TUBE_MARE.gif
1022633
Of course I am! cliffhangers are rare in this fic and this is getting near the end of the fic. Come on, a bit more drama makes it so much more epic anyways. Right? And I'm glad your enjoying the fic so much.
I really like how you have Pinkie and Rainbow Dash working together and having them work together so well. As a tandem they seem to be particularly dangerous.
This has got to be the best chapter yet. Portraying the Zodiacs like that must've taken a fair bit of research.
This hurt my brain, though: "The moon was present in all its phases,"
...what? You know what Lunar phases are, right? Because two of them just so happen to be the full moon and the new moon. A single moon possessing both of these phases at the same time... that's a mindfuck right there.
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Yeah, for Pinkie and RD, I wanted the the two to show some form of team work unlike Rarity and AJ. That's not to say other combinations wouldn't work together or whatnot, but RD and Pinkie just fit together more than any other combination.
1023597
Wikipedia. I'm not joking, I just wiki'd the thing.
Stop thinking of it in terms of physical realm and go for spiritual/symbolic. There's not one moon, there are multiple moons (eight if I recall correctly). I probably could have made that clearer actually, now that I think about it.
1022075
shes currently considerd the worst thing to happen to equestria and she can still take the blame now but she has a chance to redeem herself in the eyes of the people there for luna will be able to live in whatever peace twilight made for her in her letter and not have everyone defiling her name and only partially hating it
"That was the armor of the Knight Protector – the one pony who had command over every single last branch of the military and sat on the council. "
Twilight just became 20% more awesome...
1026366
Yep! Twilight is almost as awesome as RD now...
1027247
Yep, only almost
She's still my favorite egghead