Nightmare Moon's returned and Twilight captured. In order to survive she must sacrifice everything
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The only real interesting bit is the second section with Twilight giving everyone a verbal smack down. I really, really wanted to use the whole "Friendship is magic" line, but at the same time I didn't want it to be cliched. So, I decided to have Twilight basically rip it apart and show them what a massive lie that is and so forth. I actually wrote that bit months ago and it's one of those scenes where I've had it in my head for a long time. I wanted to show Twilight as being insane, yet at the same time still retaining that core ideal she had at the start of the fic of "I want to save Celestia."
Hnnngh~ You just made my night.
I was just about to go to bed but decided to check FimFiction one last time.
im glad i did.
Now i'll read it.
Prepare for comment editing.
Edit: Ehem.
i have this weird desire to read about Trixie going through so much pain she snaps.
and it makes me feel slightly sick.
Sadly, im in full on Fangirl mode, so any real feedback is out of the question...
But i can say that i Loved the scene where Twilight verbally stomped the shit out of the elements, the shivers i got... the shivers~
well, i'll be gone for 2 weeks now, so prepare for a 1 man comment storm in 2 weeks.
If you even release any new chapters.
868156
=laughs= You are sick and I like it!
Oh yes, I loved that scene as well. It was the second scene I got in my mind when writing this entire fic and it was written months ago.
Well there's one more chapter before I'm caught up, then I'll be switching over to weekly updates since that's how fast I write so...
868250
I guess i am sick, but you wrote this, so you're worse! :D
but really, who knew Pony torture was this Fun! to read about.
good luck with writing the next chapter(s) and i'll be back to flood your comment section in 2 weeks~
I'll cut my rambling short (for once).
Good night.
i will say this. twi is just hilarious! the way she basically verbally bitch slaps the other elements breaking down the faults in their elements. also she pretty much has the power to kill all of them now that she has her full potential unlocked or at least i think its fully unlocked? it'll be scary to see how much more lethal she gets with this. also one more thing trixie is so going to get a twilight verbal smack down and i wonder how her reaction to phantom Celestia will go?
Oh wow, that psychological part with the element bearers was brilliant. I especially liked what you did with Trixie. The torture scenes better be in there.
There is one thing that bothered me, though. Inter-species blood transfusions are a very, very risky thing. I know that a transfusion from a chimp to a human requires some pretty complex cleaning and filtering before it can be safely transferred to the human, and there's only a 1% difference in the gene code of the two species. I'm no doctor, but I'm still pretty sure that an unprocessed blood transfusion from an Avian/Feline to an Equine would never work, even with the same blood types.
Okay, before you ask, YES, I am obsessive over stories being scientifically accurate. It's both a curse and a blessing.
868280
Hey, you ever say I'm not insane/sick for writing this whole thing?
868287
Yep! I really wanted to completely invert the whole "Friendship is magic" thing and I felt the person to give that speech would be Twilight. To date, that is my favourite scene to write and the one I'm mot proud of.
868737
Everyone loved that verbal smackdown and personally, I'm in love with it as well. As for torture... well... next chapter has gotten mixed reactions so I may do some edits and post it up a couple days from now (since it's the final chapter in terms of being caught up). It's definitely... interesting I'll say.
Trixie's character arc is only really starting to kick in now and it's a lot later than all the other character arcs. Glad to hear it is interesting though becuase I was afraid it'd be on the cliched side with the whole "living on the streets" aspect.
You're the second person to call me out on that and you're totally right. Considering I'm currently studying biology, I probably shouldn't have written that scene in at all, but I put it in for the emotional impact it'd have. My only line of defense is "We're talking about gryphons and flying ponies" which is another way to say, "It's magic" and I hate that line of defense. So feel free to bash me over the head over that.