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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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First!
^^^ONLY!^^^
Nice little ending *man tear*
do some of they seem like the mane six
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BE RIGHT BACK.
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I BROUGHT FRIENDS!!!! AND NOW I SHALL CLAP!!!
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thats how a man claps
I wield the not-so-mighty twin daggers of sixth!
Anyway, this is really good. that is all.
Why does this chapter have more views then the last chapter
Should be recent.
It's liek a harem anime
This is so freakin awesome
1992572
Except with 8 year olds apparently with the life intelligence of teenagers and... well, more male main characters than you would find in a anime harem.
I'm lost
But read on I must
2541100 Welcome to the herd.
I can figure out Fidus = Dash, Tenera = Flutterbutt, Inficiunt = Pinkie, but I can't figure out, Auxilium, Dolum, Sine, Dare, and Eximius. I think Eximius is AJ and Dare is Rares but I can't be sure. Whatever, ONWARD!
Aaaaaaaand...... BOOM! He made some friends
So wait..... what chapter is when he goes to Equestria? I am so lost on this right now, what the hell is happening?
I see what you did there
Eh, the friends part seemed to speedy to me. I like it though. I have a theory!!! They all go to equestria and meet there counter-parts! Either that or they are the girls. But I'd fucking hate to see miles as twilight. Don't you fucking do that too me!
So many characters I can't even work out who all these people are supposed to be or why there are so many of them so I'll just roll with it and hope that it still makes sense when I can't tell them apart. And there's definitely no way I'm going to be able to picture them in my head or remember which ones are pale and which ones are light tan and which ones have hair or not. Oh well. Maybe it'll all make sense later on.
2848231 he's too badass to be twilight :(
5 chapters, still no Equestria. How the hell did the mods not notice this? This is just absurd.
ABSURD
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holy shit... that just happened...
2936995
Blind much?
Friendship Check. Magic check. Obvious character comparisons to MLP check. Godfather figure check. yep, sounds close enough.
3022521 Heavy not bad is best not bad
Even Scout cannot compare
‘1’... ‘3’... ‘3’... ‘7’ is that a halo legends reference
3470717. Well for numbers there is a 1 in infinite chance of that being a normal number, or yes. It is the halo reference.
3470717 I just started reading... and realized it's LEET or 1337... which is a horrid reference... a well-placed one, but a horrid one nonetheless.
3224789 still not 100% which is which! though.
SOOOOOOO, Enders game, with a dash of Hunger games and pones......hmmmmmm.
friends?... what is friends? cuzz ya that shit happened fast(not that im complaining)
hmmm seven. YOU HAVE BROKEN RULE ONE FOR CHARACTERS!! only introduce 2-3 this way, everyone else needs a couple of chapters for some story for the reader to remember them by. so there's this one and wait who's that one? when did they get introduced. that's what i'm going through here man.
i dont mean to soud so critical but im offering my advise as an editor with over views of chapters
3906271 in a kind of V for Vendetta government (kids becoming soldiers slight facism) and my fav parliament building (if you have not seen v for vendetta then You won't get my parliament reference)
Another well done chapter, good show lad ^^
This is starting to get interesting ^^
I thought has was Halo but then magic came in and I have no idea what this is now.
4045357 I find that I agree. The characters and their bond with Miles, feels a little forced. Just too little time between first meeting them and the whole "friends till the end" speech.
4391714 What this guy said.
4045357 Still, your point about it being forced was correct.
I'd say that you're less of an editor, because we pick out grammar and spelling mistakes, more of a pre-reader.
I'm sorry about the first line. Waay out of line.
Room 1337
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hey its the room for Elites
Who are most of these kids? I know they're stand-ins for the Mane Six and a few other characters, but most of them have only gotten a half-handful of lines of dialogue. How and why do they claim to be his friends? I doubt he's had more than one thirty-second conversation with most of them. At least in the show the characters went on a life-or-death struggle to save Equestria. Here, they...well, don't.
I don't get it.
There's no actual emotional impact here, because so few of the characters have any personality whatsoever. It's kind of hard to develop a character's personality with no actual screen time to speak of.
5558689 um SHAT AP
. . . Holy shit! Are you doing what I think you are doing: Are all of his new friends five of the main six, with Miles being Twilight?
I suppose I will have to keep reading to find out. Congradulations, you have made an awesome story that has quipped my interest, something that is not at all easy to do, and you did it in less than five chapters!
So we got Mane 6 plus 3 (if Miles is twily) are the 3 CMC? Maybe a mixture of others from series? Like Shining and Big Mac? Or even possibly they arnt the Mane 6 and the author is laughing at those of us who are making these claims ORRRR im over thinking everything and just need to read to understand....till later brony on!
4384494 warhammer?
311807 last
Room number 1337...
X 100
Why did I have to find this now?!? *sigh* it's already 4am..
6769051 sleep? What's that? I don't think I remember.
6260647
...blood for the blood god?
I'm like really confused about what's going on. I feel really compelled to continue to read but I have no idea what's happening.