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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I've been waiting for what feels like an eternity for this update. Probably like what? A day?
Also, I noticed this:
I sit on the ground and cross my legs as I ask "How exactly does one get one of these cutie marks?"
"Well, a cutie mark is suppose to show up when you find your special talent..." says the orange pegasis. (pegasus cuz I nitpick)
"... so we've been going around trying all sort of crazy stuff to see if it's our special talent..." the orange one says energetically.
The pause makes me think another filly started to talk, but the descriptive text sez it's still Scootaloo.
461482 my bad
Also, I've been doing pegasis this entire time and no one corrected me, whats up with that?
you REALLY need a proofreader.
and it is official he is poisoned... cant he just heal it with magic? (cut himself,bleed out a decent bit of poison and then heal himself)
461499
Probably because that's the only time I've actually noticed it.
461499 Our bad.
You have a few typos here and there but honestly, your stuff is always pretty clean. Never saw any real point in picking anything out. It doesn't ever detract from the story for me.
So I see you're punishing me for that comment about Miles having a day when nothing tries to kill him but literally letting him get eaten alive...I see how it is. Shame on you Miles, no more days off!
I finally caught up to the story and can't wait for more. Nice story.
My names Toph cause it sounds like Tough
"Well alright then... why don't we get crusading then!" I say as I stand up. I assume this will be pretty simple.. I mean, what kind of trouble could these threse sweet little girls get into?
Dude you are screwed.
(edit) told ya!
i might be too late in saying this, but if you're coming back to update this chapter and/or for future chapters, you may want to separate those incredibly long paragraphs into short ones because readers can get lost into those incredibly long paragraphs.
let's go crusading they said
it will be fun they said
we never thought we might have to fight giant fucking snakes
1065284 Face it, nothing ever goes right in ponyville
What were those creatures?
SPELLING ERROR!
*Le spelling and grammar hurt my mind...
I feel like I know that snake creature from somewhere... I forget though...
what is that creature?
3146912 It's a basilisk I'm pretty sure
3294372 hey shelly
If it's a basilisk shouldn't it have the ability to turn lifeforms into stone?
Stupid shit always happens to Miles it's too predictable and not really interesting to read
To be 100% honest with you, I sorta gave up after Gary
3094896 naga?
Aaaand Miles got knocked out!
....again.
Ugh.
3770087 Bullshit discord this story is great. You're just picky.
3094896 Basilisk?
4645180 Yep.
3548039 Maybe its physically impaired.
Ok I've only read the title THIS IS GOIN TO BE GOOD
Edit: I was right
Hope the girls are all right.
I'm trying to paint a nice picture of this giant snake.
falling unconscious this much is bad
It was at this moment I had a heartattack
. . .
Brothers and sisters it's time ...........
...............
....... Time for crusade brothers and sisters we must take our holy land !!!!!!!!!!!!
10016658
DUES VULT
По названию главы уже можно понять что это будет Экшен! А не простые посиделки с кексами и ромашковым чаем!
Brothers its time
"For the grace of the might of the lord!"
Deus vult brothers!
BROTHERS RAISE YOUR SWORDS WE MARCH FOR THE HOLY LAND
FOR THE EMPEROR