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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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THIS TOOK SOOOOOO LONG!
Anyway, sorry for the long wait. Finals along with a really long chapter held this up.
SINE WAVE!
Do your brony point thing already! I'm going to have an aneurysm if you keep me waiting!
If you wan to that is.... if you feel like it that is....
Brony on!
I do love how you ran with Strages, mainly how miles is like I made a friend, but something tells me this will be interesting for me to write in Damian's perspective
First off all that Latin! Please tell me you updated that one blog.
Secondly update!
Thirdly Dashie has a scar. Scars are awesome! You know if taken doing honorable stuff, like spatan training.
I feel that one more should have died during the training.....
I just love how you discribe spartan training everytime
And although Camo died somewhat stupid i liked that chapter
I hope the next chapter is up soon
Great chapter.
Finally there' are more Spartans, Miles gave Terradisian legacy to Storm,Mac and Spike also Dash got through so world is doomed.
Storm challenge is just great (magic enchanced bed )
I wonder what dark machinations hide behind Cloud's situation.
1750054 Yes, actually I update the latin as I write so it will be there before the chapters are even put up.
Lol boners...
Whatevs.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png Good chapter nonetheless.
ha! parent and bro movinin in huh.
1749873. .... Damn I realized miles bed receives more action than miles himself...
heckoffa way to end a chapter.
also, lolz on th' boners.
lol, Spartan training montage!
Okay, I swear I'm working on my brony points thing, but this one is unlike any other one you've given before. I mean, the power I now hold, I have to be careful, I can't just waste it on any old thing that comes to mind. Do you just shout the first thing you think of to the Genie, or do you consider your options?
And holy crap, I knew Miles could be cold, but he just iced someone and I don't know if I can support the reasoning behind it. I mean, I understand the need for secrecy and the reverence that is placed in Spartan training, and I know that all of them were warned that death was a very real possibility and given a chance out, but to just kill someone defenseless on the ground for not answering the question when it almost sounded like some of the other recruits just threw out an answer to save their lives....I don't know, just feel like a cold blooded murder.
But hey, I know they were warned, so, RIP Camo. To be fair, getting killed by Miles, probably not a bad way to go.
Please don't be sorry, It was worth the wait.
3 Chapter in one
.....
I have reread multiple extremely long stories, so time to reread this one, it was an interesting read in the beginning, and it still is! That is why I want to experience this amazing story again! I am getting too enthusiastic now!!!
I REALLY need to point something out that needs to be fixed I think XD LMFAO:
"He says with his dying breath. Rainbow creams his name out,"
Yeah........ I LOL'd pretty hard at that mishap XD
Great chapter as usual! Can't wait for the the next one
You know what, for as many of these allusions i get i should probably make a dun dun dun recording....
1774892
oh no I just pictured that
DDDDDDD:
2560747 Use this.
Sorry for complaining but this whole Latin thing is very annoying at times, cause i have to stop and pull up a translator just so i know what the characters are saying and that seriously interrupts the story. So in future chapters can you please put subtitles or something so i dont have to stop my reading just to know what they are saying.
Long chapter look at time when finishes 5:25 am Holy mother of Luna why you do this to me lol Great chapter keep it up and
have a derpy day my friend
Wow I guess we don't have to worry about Camo betraying them later.
That escalated quickly.
how did they fuck up that badly
wasn't Camo the spy?...Well at least now he isnt a problem anymore lol
Alright, i can't take this anymore! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
I've been reading this fanfic all the time, day at night, every morning and every evening! I'm already at 148th episode, but there are so many things that are just driving me CRAZY!
The entire story is a work of a genius, interesting characters, original story full of plot twists and awesome fighting scenes, but DEAR GOD sometimes when reading this fanfic i felt like it was written by a kid from elementary school! (No offence, this is just how i feel)
Just... Just look at this!
"Around my face" or "On my face"? You cant use both!
Everyone is here*
In the first three lines of text, and already two misspells. Not even mentioning the fact that you literaly see NO DIFFERENCE between "Than" and "Then"! Then is for time and Than is for comparision, get it right!
The other things that i'm getting sick of is the repeating awkward gags you're trying to force in. The most annoying one is the whole thing where people keep having sex in Miles bed. It's not funny, it's sensless, ridiculous, in a really bad taste, and it happens almost every time Miles gets back home. Why?
Other thing is the fact that it's been half a year since Miles came to Equestria (from the view of 148th episode) and he still haven't learned the language, only so you could be making jokes about him not being able to read. This isn't even a joke, it just seems stupid! Oh boy, and to count all the other stuff that i dislike in this story:
- Constant use of latin language. If you think i will be reading a fanfic with a translator opened in second window, then you'll be highly dissapointed, i'm just skipping through these conversations, being annoyed that i'm missing out on a part of the story.
- The gag of someone constantly walking on someone doing sex. It was funny the first and second time, then it got awkward, then it got annoying.
- Adventures of Pinkie and Cheesus and all the others is just a pure essence of what the fuck. I can... imagine that some people like it, but i'm not one of those. I'm not a fan of putting oc's into story.
- Speaking of putting oc's into story, what the fuck? I don't even know from where you got these characters like CC, Damian or Hammer, but why are you using characters from a different story i have never heard of before? It's almost like you expect me to know them and like them, but no! I don't! Stop forcing them onto me, i don't want to get to know them!
- New character, Shadow, got introducted lately, and i can't help but feel dissapointed in Miles. Why would you force a little girl with anxiety, who's parents and sister are dead, and who's probably will never get through a mental thrauma, to just stay alone with strangers while you leave? Wtf dude? Even leaving her alone at home would be a better idea! She can make friends in her time, but it's been just a day since she came back! Let her be!
But yeah, beside that, i'm loving this fanfic with all my might. Things that are making me so addicted in it are:
- The SoL parts, whenever Miles talks about his eventual death or when Twilight loses her baby. This is so badly right up my alley!
- Interesting, original characters, each and every one of them with their own adventures, like Miles, Storm or Shadow. They're not just "sidekicks to walk along with the main character", they have their own adventures, their own lifes, and they are the big part of the story. Unoriginal characters also got their own aspects and personalities, like Big Mac or Twilight. I'm lovin' it!
- The universe they're in is really interesting. I'm not really into the whole future thing with space ships and robots and all that, but this fanfic got it just right, and i'm really into the whole idea of cities burried underground, crusade of Miles friends from town to town to escape unfamiliars, every city being filled with a series of events, which in some parts could even gain the title of horror-like.
- As much as i hate myself for what i'm about to say... A really well done romance between Miles and Luna which i'm really enjoying. A hidden marriage is just something i wouldn't have even thought of, additionaly played out so nicely that Celestia still have no idea what's going on (From the view of 148th episode).
- The idea of Spartan training and ponies becoming Spartans.... Hmmmm... Just feels great. I love reading about people being pushed to their edge, watching them snap and give up, or rise above the pain and become perfect. The idea of being killed at the very same day you begin the training? What's not to like?
- The idea of soldier being teleported to the future reminds me a lot of Serious Sam, where a single soldier gots teleported to the future to fight Mental and his army, with the difference that the soldier from Serious Sam didn't had overpowered soul magic to destory everything. Miles is almost like One Punch Man! But with magic instead! I'm loving seeing him literaly destroy the enemy, and i'm loving it even more when someone is actualy able to keep up with him and they're having an even fight!
I say, you should search for a proof reader
I must say waking dreams, even without someone trying to fuck your brain up when you get them they are horrid.
Not having the Latin translations in line with the story is really a bother. Do you actually gain anything by not having it translated? It's one thing if the reader isn't supposed to know what is being said, but some of the Latin seems very important to the plot.
4539042 Well fuck, I was going to say that! Stole all the likes before I could comment....
But two other things I needed to bring up:
1.) Wait isn't Miles going to die in 1 month? Well 28 days have passed, when is he supposed to... die, then? (If I'm correct in what I remember)
and 2.) Storm is fucked completely if Miles finds out what he told the recruits to do.
Well call me a dumbass.