Life has a weird way of messing with you. You might get screwed here or there, out a job, maybe a stab in the back, nothing you can't get back from. Then there are those times. The times you can't get back from within your wildest dreams. And the universe couldn't cut me a break and make the impossibility simple. Nope, didn't get to stay human, didn't get the luxury of being transmorgified into a pony, griffon, or other, I didn't even end up as an already established pony within the candyland of Equestria!

Nope, for me, I wake up not as Pinkie Pie, but instead inside the mind of Pinkie Pie. Back on the rock farm when she was a filly. My name ain't that important anymore, but Pinkie's taken to calling me Mena. And it's gonna be a long, windy, freaky road ahead, ain't it?

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[Tags will be updated if need be. Dark tag there for overall and reoccurring themes. And while it's not enough to warrant the tag there may be adventure elements from time to time. Critique is welcome and I hope you enjoy!]

Holy cow, featured on day/night one! Thank you muchly so everybody!

9/19/2023: Overall grammar overhaul for existing chapters.

Crotch sniffing has become a problem in Ponyville lately, with the arrival of Equestria's only human, such a problem that mares charged with it are sentenced to Crotch Sniffers Anonymous in the hopes they may change. Rarity, there for her first offense, meets a Ms. Mare.

This story is written for the crotch sniffing thread in /mlp/.

TTS Reading of the entire fiction: Courtesy of the FanFiction Reader on Youtube.

Character List: Courtesy of TruthHut (A work in progress)

Handy is not a happy man at the best of times.

He was even less happy to find himself in an alien world that offended the very laws of physics and got injured for his own stubborn refusal to accept the obvious path fate had apparently laid out for him.

For his trouble he is now on a journey, with the long term goal of finding his way back home, only to find himself involved in plots and machinations so far above his head and cares that he quickly becomes a pawn in a game played by powers who care not for his well-being.

Quite like his life back on Earth if you think about it.

Needless to say, Handy does not care for any of it. He is much more preoccupied with the more immediate and pressing mundane concerns of day to day life a human needs to worry about while in Equestria.

Obtaining a new pair of shoes for example.

All this and one almighty hangover, what's the worst that could happen?

Rated teen for harsh language and minor violence

Proofread by JBL, Jude and Usurper

This story is a sequel to Top Of The Charts

Released from jail for a crime he did not commit, Anonymous has returned to Ponyville to resume his life in Equestria. While some ponies - such as Vinyl Scratch and Octavia - are pleased to see him, there are many more who don't appreciate him being back amongst them.

Now Anon must try to adjust to an Equestria which has changed a lot during his absence, while trying to regain the trust of the locals. Solving the mystery surrounding the disappearance of several townsponies seems like a good place to start, even if it does mean stooping to levels he never thought possible...

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Comments contain spoilers.

Diamond Dogs are tagged, but they're not the same ones we've seen in the show.

Cover art drawn by Thy and coloured by an Anon, both of whom I found on /mlp/.

Anon thinks in this colour.
Anon's Brain thinks in this colour.

If there's one thing the denizens of Equestria have always needed, it's to have somewhere to relax and knock back a few drinks. The tales that follow chronicle Haggis, a surly ex-adventurer, and her plucky human assistant, as they attempt to live their lives and please customers of all varieties.

Artwork by AnonTheAnon (Twitter @RealAnonTheAnon)

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

For a human that ended up in an alien world full of talking ponies, you've been living a surprisingly boring life. Sure, you have friends and go on adventures and stuff, but you don't really have a "purpose" per se. At least, you didn't until about a month ago, when a "heinous villain" that had been turned to stone went missing from Canterlot. Now, there's a washed-up queen crashing in your basement and stealing your love.

If only you could get her to admit that she doesn't actually steal it from you.

A former pink pony finds herself in a new, hostile world and a new friend who's perhaps even more hostile. A small, angry man finds himself with a new friend he didn't want. Can they make it through this new misadventure together, or is it the universe that needs to watch out for them?

Cover art used with permission from Technaro.