Part 13 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Couch Hunt: Chapter 112 Sunset Shimmer Vs. Love Tap
The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 13 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Couch Hunt
Chapter 112 Sunset Shimmer Vs. Love Tap
-ooooooo-
Amber’s eyelids slowly opened as she drifted back into consciousness. She was vaguely aware of someone holding her up and someone else holding her arm. Oh, no! The fight! I’ve got to—
‘Kkkkcchhh’
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” Amber cried out as she felt a sharp pain in her left shoulder. Her eyes shot open wide from the pain. She quickly noticed she was being held up by Elise as Chris held her left arm out straight. “Elise? Chris…? What are you two doing?!”
“Sorry Amber,” Chris said, “but it’s best to relocate your shoulders as soon as possible.”
Elise nodded in agreement.
Amber sighed as she looked out into the empty ring. “Guess that means I lost…”
Elise cocked an eyebrow. “Did you honestly think you had a chance?”
“I was wearing her down!” Amber protested as Chris moved to her other side.
Elise rolled her eyes. “Riiiight… The ol’ ‘lure them into a false sense of security by letting them dislocate both my shoulders and humiliate me for minutes on end' gambit!”
Amber just scowled out into open space and said nothing.
“You know,” Chris piped up, “I think Dan’s used that one a few times…” Chris suddenly pulled hard on Amber’s arm.
‘Kkkkcchhh’
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” Amber cried.
Chris pulled a corner of his lips up and raised an eyebrow as he thought about this. “Funny thing, Dan’s stubborn enough that I think he actually made it work…”
Amber stepped forward out of Elise’s grasp, turned, and glared at Chris as she let her arms dangle loosely. “Could you maybe warn me before you do that?!”
“I’ve found it’s less of an ordeal if you don’t see it coming,” Chris replied. “At least, it’s that way with Dan and Pinkie.”
Elise spoke up, “I’m just surprised you didn’t go into crazy rage mode during that whole thing.”
Amber pulled her lips to one side. “I can’t just switch it on, you know! Maybe if that girl had started littering or had a few hours to drive me crazy in a group therapy session…”
Elise rolled her eyes. “Hey, are you still mad about that?! You were unhappy in your old job anyway!” Elise motioned to herself and Chris. “If it weren’t for all of us showing up, you’d still be a councilor binging on herbal-tea and squeezing a stress ball into an unrecognizable mass of rubber!”
Amber sighed. “Yes, and now I work for a bakery where getting suplexed by vengeance-hungry customers is apparently an occupational hazard!”
“You know,” a feminine voice said, “you really shouldn’t step into the ring if a dislocated shoulder is all it takes for you to be out of the fight.”
Amber scowled out at the source of the voice, a woman with a long brown ponytail who expertly wrapped her hands and wrists in hand wrap. A small boy in a green hoodie stood next to her, his attention focused on a handheld gaming device in his hands that emitted a series of beeps and constant music.
“Sorry, Amber right?” The woman chuckled and smiled. “Gibson’s told me soooo much about you,” she said while rolling her eyes.
“Hey,” Chris said, “how come you knew who Amber was but you didn’t know my name?”
The woman smirked. “Gibson only talks about the pretty girls he works with.”
Amber rolled her eyes. “Now why doesn’t that surprise me?”
“Moooom!” Gibson called in a protesting tone as he walked up. “Don’t tell her that!”
Gibson’s mom rolled her eyes. “Oh like you have a chance with any of them. All your female coworkers are either in relationships already, or way, way above dating a teenager!”
“But I’m in a band!” Gibson whined. “Chicks dig bands!”
Amber cocked an eyebrow. “Your mom’s got a point you know. It’s only because of her bottomless well of happiness and a strong desire for friendship that Pinkie gives anyone but Dan the time of day. D.H. is happily married with a daughter. As for me, I think you’d at least need to write a thesis paper in something before I even come close to considering you as a romantic process.”
Gibson narrowed his eyes slightly. “Amber, why must you be the screen-door on my submarine?”
Amber rolled her eyes. “Just making sure you don’t set your sights too high.” Amber refocused her gaze on Gibson. “Look! Go ask wrestler girl for a date if you want a pretty girl so bad! She seems chummy enough with you!”
Gibson sighed. “That’s purely fight-related business. She said she doesn’t date musicians anymore, something about her last boyfriend declaring his hatred for her and leaving her to freeze to death in a skating rink.”
Elise chuckled. “Hehe… Yeah, good times…”
Gibson’s mom put a comforting, wrapped hand on Gibson’s shoulder. “Oh, don’t worry, sweetie. You’ll find someone soon enough,” she said with a smile.
Gibson motioned with his clipboard to his younger brother. “You mean like squirt here?” he asked in a mildly irritated tone.
Gibson’s mom shrugged as her eyes widened slightly. “I don’t know why your brother is constantly surrounded by girls! I doubt he knows why either or has even took notice of it!”
Button hit a button on his device and its beeps suddenly went quiet. He looked up and glanced around him. “Wait, what?”
His mother shook her head. “Never mind, sweetie. For your sake, you’re probably better off not figuring any of this out for a few more years.”
“Oh…” Button said in an unsure tone. “Well… okay!” he said cheerfully before he returned to his game.
From across the ring, Sunset Shimmer hopped into the ring and started walking towards the center. “Hey! Are we going to do this?” She smirked. “Or do you need some more time to say goodbye to your family before we fight?”
Gibson’s mom looked up with a glare and flexed her fists hard, causing her knuckles to crack. “Oh it is on like Donkey Kong!”
Button chuckled quietly to himself at his mom’s comment.
Elise looked over at Gibson as his mom lifted a rope and stepped into the ring.
“You still taking bets?” Elise asked.
Gibson shrugged. “Fight hasn’t started yet.”
Elise quickly dug a wallet out of her pocket and produced a wad of bills. “100 dollars on your mom!”
“Elise!” Chris cried. “You already lost 50 on Amber!”
“Hey!” Amber cried in protest.
Elise handed Gibson her money. “What?!” Elise protested. “I was betting on you!”
“Yeah, but you bet more on her!” Amber said as she motioned out to Gibson’s mother.
Elise shrugged. “Sorry, but I have a better feeling about her.” She paused and added, “Besides, I’ve seen you fight.”
Amber sighed. “I guess you have a point...”
“Uh… mom?” Gibson said tentatively. “Not to put any pressure on you, but please win. There’s a lot more bets for Sunset Shimmer.”
Gibson’s mom waved a dismissive hand. “Pffft, like I care what people are spending their money on. I just need to get you two home for dinner.”
Sunset Shimmer tapped her foot impatiently. “Tonight would be good!” she cried.
“KEEP YOUR BRA ON!” Gibson’s mom shot back. She turned back to her youngest son. “Button, dearie?”
“Yeah, mom?” Button replied without looking up from his game.
Gibson’s mom crossed her arms and grabbed the bottom of her long-sleeved sweater. In one swift movement the sweater was off, revealing a plain tan bra underneath that kept the well-endowed woman’s bosom in place. A series of cheers and whistles erupted through the crowd as well as the occasional gasp. She gently draped her sweater over her son’s shoulder.
“Keep mommy’s sweater clean, alright?”
Button nodded as he continued to look down at his game. “Sure, mom.”
Sunset’s eyes were wide and her confident grin had retreated behind a concerned expression. She was amongst the few who had gasped. A large tattoo of part of a poem occupied the majority of her opponents back. Though, the woman’s bra strap obscured some of the words, Sunset already knew the piece by heart. As the words recited in her head, her blood ran cold and any thoughts that this would be an easy fight gave her a loving farewell before passing into the night.
‘The earthquake came, and rocked the quivering wall
And men and nature reeled as if with wine.
Whom did I seek around the tottering hall?
For thee. Whose safety first provide for? Thine’
Sunset inhaled as her opponent approached and exhaled with the words, “… Love Tap…”
Sunset’s opponent chuckled. “It’s been a while since anyone’s called me that…” Love Tap smirked and rolled her eyes. “I’m guessing that poem is still hanging up in the gym, gaudy frame and all.”
Sunset narrowed her eyes and widened her stance as she held her hands out in front of her. “The frame's a bit tarnished and old at this point.” Sunset pointed an index finger out. “Much like the woman who has the tattoo of the poem in the frame.”
Love Tap whistled as she raised her fists in front of her face. “Well you’re a feisty one. Still, if you know who I am, I’m guessing you’re having second thoughts. You know there’s still time for you to back out. I just came here to pick up my son. I have nothing to prove.”
The slightest hints of a smile appeared on Sunset’s face. “Sounds to me like someone else is having second thoughts. If you’re so eager to get out of this, why don’t you just give up now?”
Love Tap shook her head. “Aside from never backing down once I’m in the ring, that lovely maroon-haired woman would just be next and my son would run around dealing with bets again, and I need to get both my sons home for dinner.”
Sunset’s eyes widened slightly and her confident smile found itself back to her face once more. “Listen to you! The legendary Love Tap talking about her sons and dinner. The once respected and feared KO queen of the ring is now worried about her kids getting there three squares a day.” Sunset’s wide grin turned full on devilish as she looked at her opponent with ready, hungry eyes and widened her stance. “It’d be funny if it weren’t so pathetic.” She closed her smiling lips and cocked her head slightly. “Oh, what the heck, I’ll laugh anyway! HaHaHaHaHaHaHaa!”
Love Tap just smiled softly and shrugged her shoulders. “Believe what you want, but this is your last chance. If you still want to fight, I’ll be more than happy to put you to bed.” Love Tap’s expression suddenly went serious. “I’m afraid I won’t put you down as gently as you did your opponent.”
“Pfft! In your dreams!” Sunset said dismissively.
Love Tap chuckled darkly and shook her head. “Believe me, I won’t be the one dreaming…”
Chris leaned over to his wife as the two watched from the edge of the ring. “Is there always this much back-and-forth banter at these fights?”
Elise cocked an eyebrow. “How would I know?”
Chris shrugged. “I thought martial arts was sort of your thing.”
“Well sure, for my job!” Elise replied. “It’s not like I find myself in semi-impromptu street brawls all the time!”
Amber glanced at Elise. “You know, despite your lengthy questionnaire you filled out, I still don’t know what you do for a living.”
Elise gave Amber a serious look. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
Amber rolled her yes. “Ha Ha,” she said sarcastically. “You’re very funny.”
Chris spoke up, “Uh, I’m pretty sure Elise is serious.”
Elise nodded. “Technically there’s a few people I should already kill at this point. I just like them or their friends and significant others too much to do that.”
Chris let out a nervous “Eeeeeeeee…” as he stared out into the ring.
Amber shot the couple a confused look. “Oh… I see…”
“WOULD YOU ALL SHUT UP?!” Gibson snapped. “I kinda have a lot riding on this fight!”
“Sorry…” Elise, Chris, and Amber uttered quietly.
Chris spoke up, “I’m sure your mom will be fine.”
“Huh?” Gibson replied as he looked up from the wad of cash in his hand. “Oh right…”
“Wait…” Button uttered as he looked up from his game. “Mom’s doing what, now?” Button’s portable device suddenly emitted a series of sad sounding tones. Button immediately looked down, “AHHHH! NO MY LAST LIFE!” Button wailed.
Gibson rolled his eyes. “Just keep on playing, squirt…”
In the center of the ring, the two would-be combatants continued trading barbs. “… Seriously though…” Sunset continued. “Years of retirement and you just think—WHOA!” she cried as a fist came sailing towards her. She quickly raised her hands and blocked, but the force from the blow sent the back of her hands into her face. She took a few quick steps back and widened her stance again as she focused on her opponent.
“Bored now,” Love Tap uttered. “And you’re pushing my youngest’s bedtime back at this point…” Love Tap quickly threw her weight back into the right side of her body and took a few steps into striking range.
Sunset shifted her weight back as she prepared to block and pounce, but Love Tap’s left hand quickly flew out and jabbed her in the face. The momentary stun was enough that Love Tap’s right hand also slipped through her opponent’s defenses.
‘POW!’
Sunset Shimmer suddenly saw stars as she felt a heavy impact on the side of her head. She threw up her arms again to protect her and tried taking a few steps back, but her opponent was unrelenting. Painful punches rained down upon Sunset as she attempted to put some distance between herself and her opponent.
Not good… Sunset thought. She’s keeping me at arm’s length. At this rate I’ll be too dizzy to fight… or worse. I’ll have to risk another lunge…
Sunset quickly shifted her weight back then leapt at her opponent, arms spread wide.
-ooo-
A tall, thin Salvation Armed Forces employee, with close cropped military-style hair quickly slammed on the brakes to his van. His headlights caught someone jumpng out into the road and waving their arms about.
As his vehicle came to a stop he quickly turned off the ignition, undid his seatbelt, and threw open the door. He jumped out with an angry, flustered expression. “What the heck are you doing jumping into the road like that all in black?! I could have hit you!”
Dan smirked. “Just trying to get your attention and get you out of the van.”
The tall man’s eyes widened slightly as he took another look at Dan’s clothing. He smacked a palm against his face. “… Rookie mistake…” he muttered to himself.
Before the tall man could do anything else, a thin, pink-nail-polished hand holding a rag reached out from behind him and clamped the rag to his nose and mouth. He clawed at the rag briefly before his body went slack. The person behind him slowly lowered his unconscious body to the ground.
Dan smiled and walked back to the sidewalk to retrieve his baseball bat.
“Wheeee!” Pinkie exclaimed. “It’s kind of fun to be on the giving end of chloroform for a change…” Pinkie giggled a little darkly to herself. “Hehehehe… I feel all warm and fuzzy and powerful inside...” Pinkie’s happy expression widened to something a bit wild as she held up a green bottle marked ‘chloroform’. She stared at it and caressed it. “Hehehehehe… It’s like this green bottle of liquid suddenly gives me control over who gets to stay awakee-bakee and who has to go beddy-bye!”
Dan flashed Pinkie a concerned look. “We can explore your newly discovered feelings for knocking out unsuspecting cogs of the thrift store army later,” he said as he walked up to the unconscious man on the ground. “Now help me get this uniform off of him.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she sat down the bottle.
Dan set down his bat and the couple quickly went about stripping the fallen Salvation’s Armed Forces employee. As Dan pulled off the man’s military-style green jacket he held it up and frowned. He held the jacket up at shoulder height; the jacket dangled far down below his waist and to his knees. “Huh… we may have a small impediment here.”
“That’s okay!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “I think I can fake a lisp!”
“Not a speech impediment, you idiot!” Dan cried. “I don’t think these clothes will fit either of us!”
There was the sound of a zipper being undone as Pinkie came up with a pair of pants that she held up by the leg cuffs. She looked at the long, narrow trousers carefully then looked back towards Dan. “Maybe that bug guy won’t notice!”
“What?! But he…” Dan trailed off as he thought about this further. He placed an index finger to his chin. “Well… he certainly would have bought our earlier disguises if it weren’t for his meddling commanding officer… er… manager…”
Pinkie nodded as she struggled to get the pants up over her black, skin-tight suit. “See Dan! We still have a workable plan!” Pinkie grunted forcefully as she pulled the tight pants over her shapely hips. She puffed out her cheeks and sucked in her stomach as she attempted to zip the pants up. After a few strained attempts she stared at Dan with a sheepish grin. “Uh… Can you help zip up my pants?”
Dan grumbled irritably and set down the shirt he was holding, he reached down to Pinkie’s zipper and attempted to help her force it. He also made several strained attempts as Pinkie tried to keep the pants closed.
“Come on Dan!” Pinkie cheered on. “You can do it! I believe in you!”
“Give me a break, okay!” Dan cried. “I have a lot of experience undressing you and only a little bit of helping you get dressed!” He fumbled around with the zipper a little more then threw his hands up in frustration. “Ghah! This isn’t working!”
“Hey!” Pinkie cried. “Maybe if I take off my sneak suit first I’ll have an easier time putting this on!”
Dan cocked an eyebrow at Pinkie. “You really think changing out of those skin tight clothes will work?”
“Every little bit helps!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she gathered up the clothes and walked behind the van.
-ooo-
Sunset Shimmer grinned widely to herself as she stood above her fallen opponent. Love Tap laid on her side in a heap at Sunset’s boots. The brown-haired woman’s eyes were closed. Sunset nudged the once-proud fighter with her foot and Love Tap’s limp body flopped upright.
Love Tap remained motionless on the ground.
“Sunset Shimmer wins!” Gibson announced from the side of the ring.
The crowd cheered her name over and over again with a few throwing in the odd, “We love you, Sunset Shimmer!” Some even tossed roses into the ring.
Sunset smiled to herself and threw her hands out wide as she reveled in the cheers and her victory. I did it! She put up quite the fight, but my superior skills won out in the end! And now everyone knows I’m the best!
“Sunset!” a masculine voice called.
Sunset looked up as a man with blue hair ran up. He was wearing a black jacket with a white-and-red stripe going across the center, a t-shirt with a blue shield adorned with a lightning bolt emblem, jeans, and black sneakers.
“Hello Flash,” Sunset said with a grin. “Have you come to beg for forgiveness?”
Flash nodded and stared deeply into Sunset’s bright-emerald-green eyes with his sapphire blue ones. He reached out for Sunset’s hands and took them in his own. “I was wrong to ever leave you!” he said earnestly. “When I saw your brutal fight-winning ‘delayed vertical suplex’ I knew I had to ask that you take me back!”
Sunset chuckled. “Alright, but you have to do everything I say when I say it!”
Flash nodded again and smiled. “Of course! You always know what’s best anyhow! I don’t know what came over me!”
“Sunset Shimmer!” a feminine voice called out. Sunset turned again to see a girl with long, curly pink hair bound up in a white-and-red striped shirt and rolled up jeans. The woman held up a trophy topped with a golden pair of figure skaters atop of it.
Pinkie held up the trophy with a grin. “I’ve come to give you this trophy! You earned it, not me!”
Sunset nodded and accepted the trophy. “Well that’s certainly true.”
Pinkie continued, “And even though I realize I’m not worthy to even look at you, I wanted to bask in your presence.”
Sunset chuckled. “Of course.”
Pinkie beamed. “Also, I wanted to tell you that you’re objectively better than me at everything and in every conceivable way!” Pinkie added. She bent down and came up with a pink and white double-layered cake. “Also, I made you this cake!”
‘VoooRRRRR, voooRRR, voooRRR!’
Sunset looked up at the sound of an engine revving loudly.
“And here’s a new motorcycle for no reason!” Flash said as he motioned to a brand new-looking red-and-yellow motorcycle that had driven into the ring.
Sunset’s smile widened as she let the cheers of the crowd wash over her.
“Sunset Shimmer… Sunset Shimmer… Sunset Shimmer…”
“Sunset Shimmer… Sunset Shimmer…” Sunset murmured to herself as she laid on the blue mat, her eyes closed, and a small trickle of drool escaping from her smiling mouth. The shadow of a single, shapely figure was cast over her. The crowed was a mixture of cheers, boos, and disappointed murmurs. The light above her was suddenly obscured further as shadows from a small group of people joined the other.
Amber, Elise, Chris, Gibson and even Button had walked up. Button still had his mother’s sweater draped over his shoulder and continued to stare down at his portable video game system.
“So… Uh…” Gibson leaned down and took his mother’s sweater off his brother’s shoulder and handed it to Love Tap. He nudged Sunset with his foot a few times.
“Sunset Shimmer… Sunset Shimmer…”
“Should we call an ambulance, or something?” Gibson asked.
Love Tap put her sweater back on, accompanied with a few more boos from the crowd. “She’ll be fine! She’ll have some very pleasant dreams and probably wake up with a splitting headache. Nothing to worry about. Now go hand out people’s winnings! It’s late enough as it is.”
Gibson chuckled. “It’s a pretty small list…”
Elise held out a hand expectedly and Gibson happily peeled some bills from his wad of money and handed them over. He then walked out towards the end of the ring.
“How’d you take her out so fast, anyhow?” Chris asked.
“I did some bareknuckle boxing to get through college,” Love Tap said with a small grin as she started to unwrap her hands.
“Oh really?” Amber said in an interested tone. “What was your major?”
“Child psychology,” Love Tap answered. Love Tap looked down at her son. “Now Button, I want you to forget everything you saw here tonight.”
“Forget what?” Button replied without looking up.
“Good boy!”
-ooo-
“How do I look?” Pinkie asked as she bounded out from behind the van.
Dan looked Pinkie up and down, finding his eyes got a bit stuck once they hit her chest level a second time. The green slacks Pinkie was wearing hugged her legs tightly. He wasn’t sure if she had managed to zip them up and button them, but the length of her white shirt and jacket made that somewhat irrelevant as they both hung well below her waist. Higher up on her body, it was obvious Pinkie was unable to get either the shirt or jacket to close around her chest. Her cleavage and the sides of a pink frilly bra was exposed, her voluptuous chest being supported more than usual thanks to the clothes that were tightly buttoned right under her bosom.
Dan shook his head and quickly fought through the momentarily haze of seeing is girlfriend in ill-fitting, but strangely alluring clothing. “Distracting,” he answered.
Pinkie beamed wide.
“Alright, this might just work,” Dan said with a mischievous grin. Dan bent down and picked up his baseball bat. “I bet that stupid bell ringer gets preoccupied by your sexy body and doesn't even notice anything’s amiss!”
“Yay!” Pinkie said enthusiastically as she threw her arms into the air. She suddenly paused as she thought of Dan’s words. “Wait… what?”
Dan continued as his grin widened from mischievous to wicked, “Now I’ll go hide in the back. You drive the van up, and when that goon opens up the back, I’ll rush him and smash him in the skull with a baseball bat!” Dan growled out as he swung his baseball bat down on an imaginary target, the bat making a loud ‘Whoosh!’ as it sailed through the air.
Pinkie pursed her lips. “When who drives the van up?!”
“YOU, OF COURSE!” Dan cried.
“Dan, I don’t know how to drive!” Pinkie exclaimed as she motioned to herself.
Dan’s eyes went wide as he considered this. “Oh… right…” He walked up to Pinkie, put an arm around her shoulder, and motioned out down the streetlight-lined road. “Look! All you need to do is keep the van straight while you go down the road and not crash into anything! Can you do that?”
Pinkie looked down the end of the road and then looked back at Dan. “I absolutely cannot do that.”
Dan nodded. “Yes, and it was a little stupid of me to even ask,” he admitted. Dan walked over to the van and opened the driver side. He motioned to the open door. “Get in.”
Pinkie gave Dan an unsure look as she climbed onto the driver’s side seat of the van. To her surprise, Dan climbed in after her, but crawled into the small space in between the seat in the dashboard. He positioned his back against the dashboard.
Pinkie spread her legs as far as her tight pants would allow to give Dan as much room as possible. Dan stared up at Pinkie from between her knees.
“Alright,” Dan began, “I’ll work the accelerator, brakes, and steering wheel from down here. You’ll have to call out when I need to adjust our speed or heading.”
Pinkie looked down at the face between her legs with a goofy grin. “This plan keeps getting better and better!” she declared.
Dan rolled his eyes and turned to face the dashboard of the van. “Get your head in the game, Goofball.” He placed a hand up on the steering wheel and turned the ignition to the van, causing the engine to come to life. “You can put it back in the gutter after we liberate Couchy 2.”
“Still best couple’s outing to get a couch eveeeer~!” Pinkie announced cheerfully.
Thanks to Kill the Jeffer for the boxing Love Tap idea and probably one or two others who commented on SweetieMash a while back (sorry guys, there's a lot of comments 
drop me a line if you mentioned something about boxing Love Tap in SweetieMash and I'll give credit where credit is due).
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wow i think my mom used that techneice on me once
Heee, Button's Mum is excellent
Will you ever use the fact that Elise's mom is part of the mob?
I know it's a little late, but it's a possible story arc.
I approve
4418378
This is definitely a tidbit I have not forgotten that has excellent story potential.
With a minor in pain!
4418384
She should recruit Pinkie.
Also, the final confrontation with TOK should have them pulling everyone they've met into the fight against TOK. Imagine Amber, Elise, Love Tap, Ninja Dave, the Vampire Clan, the Lemonade Stand Gang, the crazy scientist neighbor (his name escapes me), the Salvation Armed Forces, that waitress they always torment, the "new age" couples, and that fail supervillain/hero working together to fight TOK.
Badass right there.
pinkie you so funny...
Ms. Gibson is clearly Kyoko Honda
4418439
That's not a bad comparison, actually.
Should be closed there.
4418462
Whhops! Fixed. Thank you!
You would think people would have learned by now that Dan and Pinkie will get what they want eventually so they may as well just hand it over.
..Jesus. H. Christ.
Jesus. H. Fucking. Christ.
....Please, let Love Tap return...That was badass.
4418505
Oh but everyone's life would be so boring if they did.
I just remembered, Dan and Elise might be related... any way you could work that angle?
4418850
Huh... I'm not sure where that idea surfaced, but a thought occurred of doing sort of a riff on "Pinkie Apple Pie" where Pinkie finds some genealogy documents that might link Elise and Dan.
Of course, they both act with complete abhorrence to the idea, but Pinkie's so excited by the idea she forces some sort of adventure on everyone that makes Elise and Dan investigate further.
Might make for a good arc a bit latter.
Featured again.
4418918
Oh geez, and I've been up there for like two hours at this point.
Seems this story, Dan and Pinkie Take a Slice out of Life, and SweetieMash are going to get featured with every update.
4418922
Hey, this is a pairing that needs more fics rather than the usual.
Because Button's mom is a badass.
Child psychology with an iron fist.
darn someone already beat me to the DBZ abridged Nappa reference.. hehe.. Button's Mom, a retired pro UFC fighter.. who knew. Keep up the good work dude.
4418917
Watch Family Thanksgiving. The Deviled Egg recipe was what Elise Sr. tells Don that her mother took the recipe to her grave but Dans taste just like them. Dan admits he stole from his grandmother on her deathbed. It's never stated, but it fits.
it beeped
its beeps (Since that's what got quiet, the beeps that it issued.) ...Not sure if that's a possessive its' though. Think you don't give it a possessive s. Darn English.
Iot
...Either something funny happened, or you figured the capital I looked better than the lower case l in italics, but lot is 'l-o-t' not 'i-o-t'
getting there three
They're either getting their three squares, or going home to have three squares there. (Stupid homophones)
her opponent.”
Floaty quotey
breaks to his van
While it's quite possible in Dan's world they are literal 'breaks', cars have braking systems, which involve brakes.
quickly slammed on the breaks to his van as his headlights caught someone jump out into the road and wave his hands about.
Eeee, a little fiddly. His headlights caught someone jumping into the road and waving their arms around? Someone else should probably go over this one too, seems not quite complete when I say it.
“I have a lot of experience undressing you
Guys. Guys, seriously guys.
Her cleavage and the sides of a pink frilly
...
Those two just can't help their PDAs, but geebus. Amusing chapter indeed. I am curious if Love Tap's 'sweet dreams' headshot is a trained attack or just a side effect of Sunset's egomania... Still, it all worked out in the end.
Awesome chapter.
4418733
People may also be able to keep their sanity. *thinks about what was just typed*
I'll shut up now.
I'm conflicted.
On the one hand, I hate seeing Sunset getting hurt. {NOOOO! MAH WAIFU!
}
On the other, I'm imagining her and Love Tap in skin tight outfits that show off their bodies, pitted against one another...They sweaty bodies pounding against one another....GAH! *nosebleed*
I have the weirdest boner right now...
Love Taps got it goin' on.
4419212
Got these, thank you!
I was wondering what the heck was up with that "Iot"! What a strange mis-key that made me feel my grammar checker was buggy!
a fun chapter, you should do a spinoff story about gibson trying to date amber (and inevitably failing)
4419105
Huh, that's an interesting theory. Especially if it's a family recipe. I'll definitely keep that in mind.
Meanwhile in reality...
Loe Tap: How cute, she's having a little dream.
Sunset: (murmurs) My power...is...maximum....
4418384
On a related note, is that related to how Elise got into cover ops? Like, did her mother sell her int servitude to a shadowy paramilitary organization for nefarious gains? And what did her dad do? Did it have anything to do with Elise Sr being in the mob? And if Elise Jr is doing wet-works for the government, how have they never done a background check and found out about her mother's criminal ties? They really don't deal with conflicting loyalties well, even if the connection is in ignorance.
4420034
And really, them being related is ground for the entire family being tracked down and chipped like wolverines because clearly that family it too dangerous to be left unmonitored. Also, they should have plans in place to purge nay dwelling with fire if they find something related to the two of them that they are unable to subdue thorough conventional means. There's got to be at least one horror movie style murderer in there someplace.
And now I'm wondering if Dan might be related to that wendigo from way back when.
No logic to it, but it would be hilarious, if you're already doing a family tree reveal, you may as well do the bizarre just for laughs. Gods know we all will totally by any absurd thing, we have so far.
Love Tap is best Mother. Now where's Gibson with my winnings?
Buttons Mom got her major in Child Psychology? No wonder she got him a classic GameBoy. Cheap, simple, reliable, built like a brick, and thousands of hours of immersive gameplay that keeps him distracted while you are doing more important things, like seeing just how long it takes to break a reinforced couch.
4419105
that makes... a terrifyingly large amount of sense.
When I read that, this started playing in my head:
4420709
Chris related to a wendigo? That might be a really dark turn of events, especially for Elise. After his first transformation, I rather considered him to be have some druid blood or innate knowledge in him, bent more towards the shapeshirfter tree.
4422097
No, no he can turn into a bear because he's 1/16 Canadian. It's a racial trait.
And I was saying that Dan might be related to the crazy old hill-dwelling cannibal that got possessed by a traditional wendigo way back when he and Pinkie weren't dating. And possibly Elise, because I had a mad idea about the most deranged family tree in existence.
4422408
Honestly, the builds I mostly work off of are in this chapter about a third of a way down. I alter the figure based off of whatever the author writes, of course, but that's the broad strokes.
In general I'd say Pinkie is the bustiest, but Flutters and AJ aren't too far behind. That being an effect of earth ponies just being built, Pinkie eating enough sweets to add some padding, and Fluttershy being sex on four (or two) legs.
4424158
Could you explain the 1/16 Canadian racial trait a bit more. I don't particularly understand. Forgive me for seeming dense.
It does sound interesting if indeed deranged. But hey, that's why it's it has potential to be so much more.
4424490 In Dan Vs., there is an episode, Dan Vs. Canada. In that episode it is revealed that all Canadians are at least half-bear. During the climax of the episode, Chris turned into a bear briefly to fight a yeti. Since Chris is a few generations removed from 'pure blood' Canadian, he states that he is 1/16th Canadian.
4424490
You should watch the Dan Vs. cartoon for more details, but in short; one of his ancestors married a bear. Also, all Canadians may be part bear, they didn't really clarify the point.
4424589
Thanks. And yeah, I should watch a few.
4425094
Thanks. And yeah, I should watch a few.
4428552
I just get this coming Monday off. I'm erm... probably pretty old for a brony.
4419345
Where evil treads, Dan treads LOUDER!
I.caught.UP!?