Part 14 Pinkie Vs. National Association of Restaurants Foundation: Chapter 117 Ninja Dave Vs. Hit Notice
The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 14 Pinkie Vs. National Association of Restaurants Foundation
Chapter 117: Ninja Dave Vs. Hit Notice
-ooooooo-
Elise shambled out into the living room, a deep scowl already set on her forehead as she stared at Dan. Chris followed, looking notably better rested.
“What the heck took you two so long?!” Dan cried. “We’ve already made it through the disappointment trilogy!” Dan turned back to the television. “Also, make us dinner.”
Elise rolled her eyes. “Nice to see you too, Dan.”
“Hey, Dan. Hey, Pinkie,” Chris said nonchalantly.
“Hiya, Elise! Hiya, Chris!” Pinkie greeted cheerfully. She had laid in what appeared to be her favorite movie-watching position, her entire body sprawled across the couch with her head resting on Dan’s lap. Her pink flats sat in front of the couch. “Did you sleep well?” she asked with a smile.
Elise frowned. “Are you kidding? Dan ranted and raved constantly! I have no idea how you can even put up with it!”
Pinkie shot Elise a sly grin. “Oh, I have my ways of keeping him quiet when I want to.”
Dan chuckled as he gently stroked Pinkie’s hair. “She really does.”
Elise raised a hand to her forehead. “Right, forget I said anything…”
Pinkie frowned. “Like… Anything, anything?”
“No, what I meant was… Never mind…” She turned to Chris. “What I don’t get is how you were able to fall asleep so fast.”
Chris raised an eyebrow. “Do you know how many times I’ve heard Dan’s prequel rants? I get drowsy every time I hear the word ‘Midi-chlorian’!”
“You should be thanking me!” Dan asserted. “My insights are the only thing that make parts of the movies tolerable.”
Chris rolled his eyes. “I don’t need your insights to enjoy the movies. I mean, I know the movies aren’t perfect, but I don’t think they’re that bad.”
Dan rolled his eyes. “That’s because your taste in movies sucks.”
Elise cocked an eyebrow as she turned back to Dan. “What I don’t get is you watch horrible movies! Like… absolutely horrendously bad ‘B’ movies, and you still complain about the prequels!”
Dan held out his hands palms up and contorted his face as if anger and confusion were fighting for control of his muscles. “It’s Star Wars!” he declared. “It has standards!”
Elise rolled her eyes. “Right, because a movie trilogy in which teddy bears help save the day must be flawless…”
Pinkie frowned. “I like the Ewoks… ”
“Listen,” Dan cried, “I don’t have time to lecture you two on everything wrong with the prequels and why you’re opinions are bad and wrong! We need to dig up information on this secret restaurant cabal.”
Pinkie nodded. “I would kinda like to know why someone tried to kill me at my favorite restaurant… Attempted murder or not, it would be nice to go again sometime… ”
Elise placed a hand on Pinkie’s shoulder. “Don’t worry Pinkie, we’ll help you figure this out.”
Dan frowned. “If only we had a connection to the foodservice industry… Someone who's been working in it for a while… Someone whose unique combat skills combined with their ability to make food makes them a likely source of information on this previously unknown world of serving food and killing people.” Dan tapped stroked his chin thoughtfully.
The group went silent for a brief moment as everyone turned to stare at Dan with quizzical expressions.
“Uh… Dan?” Pinkie said.
“Shhhh… ” Dan replied. “Something will come to me.”
Pinkie sat and up and smiled sheepishly at Chris and Elise. “Why don’t we let Dan think about this on the road?”
Elise nodded. “Good idea.”
Chris and Elise walked towards the front door of their house. Chris opened the door and held it open as Elise went outside into the still bright Southern California evening.
Pinkie stood up and grabbed Dan by the hand. She walked him outside as he stared off into space, stroked his chin, and hummed contemplatively to himself. “Hmmmmmmmmmm…”
Chris walked outside, closing the door behind him.
The group made their way to Chris and Elise’s blue sedan, Dan with the same expression on his face and position of his hand as he continued to think. “Hmmmmmmmmmm…”
Soon the car was off with Elise and Chris in the front once more with Elise at the helm. Pinkie had a small smile on her face as she held onto Dan’s free hand and he continued to stroke his chin with the other. “Hmmmmmmmmmm…”
-ooo-
“Here you go, Pinkie!” Chris said as he handed a paper bag labeled ‘Burgerphile’ to Pinkie.
“Thank you!” Pinkie replied as she took the back and opened it. She fished out a wrapped burger, unwrapped it, and pulled up the top bun. She closed it with a satisfied smile and handed it to Dan.
“Hmmmmmmmmmm…” Dan hummed as he took the burger and began absentmindedly eating it.
-ooo-
The blue sedan slowed and came to a stop as it pulled up next to a sidewalk. Chris, Elise, and Pinkie quickly exited the car. Pinkie stopped at the open door and looked inside. “You coming?” she asked Dan as he continued to stroke his chin.
“Hmmmmmmmmmm… I got it!” Dan said suddenly as he took his hand off his chin and held his index finger up. “We’ll figure out where Hortense and Jeremiah Burger have eloped to and get them to spill the secret underbelly of the foodservice industry!”
Pinkie looked at Dan with a small smile. “Uhhh… How about we call that Plan ‘B’?”
Dan furrowed his brow at Pinkie. “Why? What’s plan ‘A’?”
Pinkie moved slightly, allowing Dan to see past her. “Ninja Dave,” she said as she motioned to the yellow building outside with that had a giant cookie being stabbed by a giant ninjatō sitting on top of it.
Dan folded his arms. “Suuuure! Let’s just do everything the easy way!”
“Well… I would kind of like to not have to worry about being killed as soon as possible,” Pinkie replied.
Dan’s eyes widened slightly. “Huh… I guess I would too, now that you mention it…” Dan quickly undid his seatbelt, exited the car and walked around it. He met up with Pinkie and took one of her hands into his as the two walked towards the front of the store.
Chris and Elise stood at the entrance to the store and frowned.
Dan raised an eyebrow. “Have you two forgotten how doors work in between now and when you got out of the car?”
“No, Dan,” Chris replied. “The shop is closed.” Chris motioned to the ‘Closed’ sign on the door. Window blinds made looking into the store impossible.
Pinkie puffed out her lower lip.
“What?!” Dan cried. “Ninja Dave almost never closes outside his normal hours! Did he leave a note?”
Chris and Elise shook their heads.
Dan cocked his head to the side. “Are you sure he didn’t leave some sort of secret message you’re just not noticing because he used that crazy, ninja code language of his?”
Elise rolled her eyes. “You mean Japanese? I would have noticed, I’ve been fluent since I was a teenager.”
Pinkie’s face lit up. “Maybe he and Becky are out on a funerrific date together!” she suggested cheerfully.
Suddenly, the door to the cookie shop began to slowly open. Everyone turned as Becky poked her head out.
“Uh… A funerrrific stay at work date!” Pinkie added.
Becky placed a finger over her lips and motioned the group to come inside. Everyone quietly filed in the store as Becky held the door cracked open just enough for everyone to get inside. She closed the door behind the group.
“Were you followed?”
The group turned as their collective expression turned concerned. Ninja Dave stepped out of the shadows of his cookie shop, ninjatō drawn.
“On, Ninja Dave!” Pinkie cried in a distress tone. “Not you, too!”
Elise and Dan suddenly stepped in front of Pinkie as they narrowed their eyes at Ninja Dave.
“Shhhhhhhh… !” Ninja Dave replied as he walked up to a window, slowly pulled a blind aside, and glanced outside.
“I didn’t notice anybody or any vehicles trailing us,” Elise said. “Believe me, I would have noticed.”
Ninja Dave nodded. He looked up at Pinkie. “I’m guessing there was an attempt on your life?”
Pinkie frowned and nodded, a small distressed-sounding. “Umm-hmmm…” escaping from her as she did.
Dan furrowed his brow. “Wait, you knew something like this might happen and you didn’t warn us!?”
Dave sheepishly scratched the back of his head. “I uh… I tend to get caught up in my baking and don’t get to foundation correspondence right away…”
Chris knitted his brow slightly. “‘Foundation’?”
Dan took a step forward and thrust an index finger Dave’s face. “Pinkie could have died because you couldn’t be bothered to check your mail!”
Dave frowned and held his free hand in front of him defensively. “Look dude, I feel totally bad about that! I absolutely would have told you sooner had I known.”
Becky spoke up, “He just saw the hit notice a little while ago.”
Dan sneered at Dave. “Well why didn’t you try to call us or anything?!”
Dave sighed. “It’s not as simple as that! I wanted to warn you, but I needed some level of plausible deniability! If the foundation found out or finds out I helped I’ll become a target too.”
“Look, it’s fine,” Elise interjected. “Just tell us more about this ‘foundation’.”
“Oh no it most certainly is not ‘fine’!” Dan cried. “Pinkie almost got killed and the one person who could have given us a heads up dropped the ball!”
Becky pursed their lips. “That was sort of my bad too,” she said. She motioned out to Dave. “When I found out he might be in danger, I wanted to figure out a way he could help while minimizing the chance he’d be targeted.”
“Awwww…” Pinkie uttered.
Dan turned and narrowed his eyes at Becky. “Don’t think just because you and I have a history means I’m suddenly going to forgive Ninja Dave for this.”
Becky rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest. “What history?”
“Exactly!” Dan hissed out.
“Dan, we’re here now and Dave is not going to kill me.” Pinkie turned to Dave with a concerned look on her face. “Right?”
Dave nodded. “Right.”
Pinkie put a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “I think you should just let this one go and we can figure out what to do next.”
Dan quickly crossed his arms in front of him and threw them to his sides. “No way! This is the second time Ninja Dave has let us down! I’m disowning him!”
“I… Wait, what?” Dave replied.
Pinkie puffed out her lower lip. “Dan, please don’t disown Ninja Dave!”
“I’m absolutely disowning Ninja Dave!” Dan replied.
Dave rolled his eyes and walked over to the counter where a plate of chocolate chip cookies sat. “Look, I closed up shop so I could figure this whole thing out. You guys are welcome to all the cookies you can eat.”
“Yay!” Pinkie exclaimed happily.
“I absolutely retract my previous statement!” Dan declared.
Chris turned to Dave. “Are you sure about this?”
Dave nodded. “I got an official notice for Pinkie and everything.”
“No, I mean the ‘free cookie’ part,” Chris said. “I mean… I can eat a lot of cookies.”
Elise sighed and put a hand on Chris’s shoulder. “Chris, go grab some cookies. I’ll ask Dave about this mysterious foundation.”
“Yay! Story time!” Pinkie exclaimed as Dave set a pile of chocolate chip cookies down at a table. She and Dan sat down at the table and each grabbed a cookie. Elise and Becky sat down with them as Chris walked around the shop, grabbing different cookies and shoving them in his mouth.
Dave cleared his throat. “The National Association of Restaurant Foundation is an international—”
“HEY!” Dan cried. “I’m still upset with you! I’ll ask the questions! Tell us about this mysterious foundation!”
Dave rolled his eyes. “The National Association of Restaurant Foundation is an international—”
“Wait,” Dan said, his eyes narrowed. “If they’re ‘international’ why are they called the ‘National Association of Restaurant Foundation’?”
Pinkie stifled a giggle.
Dave pointed at Dan. “I asked the exact same thing when I joined, dude. Apparently they originally started out just national, but expanded to include restaurants from other countries.”
“So why don’t they change the name?” Dan asked.
“Apparently they put it to a vote amongst the high council. Ultimately they decided it was too expensive to update all the stationery, uniforms, and monolithic signs made out of solid gold that bared the group’s acronym.”
Pinkie broke out into a laughing fit. “HeheheheHAHAHAHAHA… Are you telling us—hehehehe—that there are a bunch of giant—HAHAHAHAHA—golden signs that say—AHAHAHAHA—that say ‘NARF’?!”
Dave sighed. “Yes, unfortunately. They prefer to spell out the acronym in conversation, but they tend to skimp on periods when it comes to erecting signs.”
Pinkie continued her laughing fit as she smacked a palm against her face and banged on the table with a fist. “HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Dan raised an eyebrow. “And you’re associated with such a ridiculous organization, becaaaause…?”
Dave glanced to his side as he raised his palms up. “Give me a break, dude! When I opened the shop, I had just stopped becoming a Ninja, and my clan was already wiped out! N.A.R.F.--”
“NARF!” Pinkie exclaimed before she returned to her laughing fit. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Dave rolled his eyes and continued. “–gave me back something that was now gone from my life. An opportunity to be part of a group again! A shadowy group that sometimes kills people!”
Becky frowned. “I think you might have a bit of a problem there…”
Elise turned to Becky with a slightly confused look on her face. “Oh really? It makes perfect sense to me.”
Dave narrowed his eyes and smirked as he shot Becky a look. “Don’t try to change me, baby.”
Becky shook her head and smiled. “Oh well, guess it’s true what they say. ‘Girls are attracted to guys that remind them of their dad’.”
Pinkie controlled her laughter long enough to utter an “Awwwww…”
Dan scowled out angrily. “Why are we taking a pit-stop in nauseating touchy-feely land?! How do we take this group of evil restaurant assassins out?”
“They’re not evil!” Ninja Dave exclaimed.
“Excuse you, but one of them tried to kill Pinkie!” Dan shot back.
“Well, normally I’d totally agree that’s a pretty good reason to consider a group evil…”
Chris spoke up through a mouthful of cookie, “Ywou mwean if Pwinkie and Dwan haffn’t antawgonwized thwem ffwirst.”
“Exactly!” Ninja Dave replied.
Elise looked at Chris. “Honey, don’t talk with your mouth full.”
Chris swallowed the food in his mouth. “Whoops… sorry…”
Pinkie frowned. “But I never even heard of NARF until today… Hehehehehe…”
“Well you didn’t antagonize the entire group, but you did end up picking on a single member. And you did it enough times that the group granted her the right to challenge you to one-on-one combat.”
Pinkie gasped. “Helen!”
Dave nodded. “Yep, that’s her.”
“See Dan,” Pinkie said, “I knew there was a good reason I was attacked at the restaurant…”
Dan narrowed his eyes. “You harassing a waitress over and over again is not a good reason for you to be marked for death!”
Pinkie pursed her lips. “Well… I guess it’s a reason at least…” Pinkie turned back to Dave. “But she challenged me and we fought!” Pinkie cried.
Dave nodded. “However, you didn’t win.”
Pinkie puffed out her lower lip. “But… but… I was totally beating the snot out of her!”
“Yes, but you were supposed to fight until the death, or at least one of you was unable to fight!” Dave said. “When you ran from the fight, you technically forfeited.”
“See what happens when you don’t kill people!” Dan cried.
Pinkie’s lower lip began to quiver as she turned and faced Dan. “But you don’t kill people!”
Dan nodded. “Yeah, but I’ve been meaning to start.”
Pinkie whimpered slightly. “Please don’t…”
Dan sighed. “Fine!” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “But for the record, I’m agreeing under protest.”
Elise spoke up, “If they wanted to kill Pinkie, why not poison her food?”
“Big N.A.R.F taboo,” Dave replied as he held up his hands and shook them back and forth. “We’re not allowed to take out targets with food. It’s potentially bad for business and it’s likely the target’s last meal. Killing them or not, we want them to enjoy it.”
Chris raised an eyebrow. “Having the staff murder someone at the restaurant isn’t bad for business?”
“The foundation also covers up assassinations,” Dave answered. “And tends to do a good job explaining why a target was chosen to whoever was with the target… you’d be amazed how well a bunch of gift certificates work… Anyhow, they just didn’t count on Pinkie having dinner with such a skilled martial artist,” Dave said as he motioned at Elise.
“Hey!” Dan cried. “I pummeled the man who attacked Pinkie into unconsciousness!”
Dave shot Dan a skeptical look. “Uh… Really?”
Pinkie nodded her head up and down. “Yep! Dan punched him through a window and everything!”
Dave paused and thought about this. “… Cool,” he replied with a smile.
Becky stared out into space with a concerned look on her face. “Wait, Dan’s actually strong enough to punch someone through a window?! That’s a kind of scary thought.”
“You have no idea,” Elise replied.
Chris swallowed the cookies he had shoveled into his mouth and stopped eating long enough to speak up, “What I don’t get is if you can be targeted for assassination for harassing a restaurant, why hasn’t anyone come after Dan?”
“Well, he does have a dossier of all the times he’s had an altercation at a restaurant…” Dave replied.
Dan blew out a dismissive gust of air. “Pffft… Most major organizations have dossiers on me, they’re not so special.”
Dave continued, “The thing is, most of Dan’s complaints are cheese or dairy-related, so he’s sort of considered justified in most his attacks.”
“HA!” Dan cried victoriously.
Elise cocked an eyebrow. “Seriously? Dan almost caused a Burgerphile to burn down over one cheese issue…”
“Well, fast food places rarely have many guild members for starters. Sometimes in management positions, but other staff members rarely stick around long enough to be told about the foundation… Also, as much as things escalated, the foundations decided Dan was in the right on that one since he simply asked to have his order fixed before things got out of hand.”
“HA, again!” Dan cried. “Maybe this place isn’t so bad...” He frowned. “You know… aside from wanting to kill Pinkie, that is.”
Pinkie let out a soft whimper.
“Speaking of which,” Elise said, “what do we do about that?”
Dave rubbed his chin briefly. “Well, Pinkie can avoid stepping foot in restaurants from now on…”
Pinkie’s eyes widened and she puffed out her lower lip. “But… but… spaghetti and meatballs!” she cried.
Chris swallowed another bit of cookie and turned to Pinkie. “You can always just order the food to go, you know…”
“It’s not the saaaaaame~” Pinkie wailed.
Dan resolutely stood to his feet. “No way are just going to let this slide! Angry, rude waitress or not, Pinkie was attacked and we’re going to do something about it!”
Pinkie shot Dan a concerned look. “Dan, it’s alright… we don’t have to—”
“I agree with Dan.”
The room went completely silent as everybody turned towards Elise.
“… I can’t believe I just said that…” Elise said. “Still! I can’t just sit by while my best friend is marked for death by a shadowy group of restaurant workers.”
Dan slapped punched a fist into his palm, a wicked smile erupted over his face “Great! Let’s go find their headquarters and start wrecking stuff!”
“Well… I think a little more planning is in order,” Elise replied. She smiled. “But I do like the idea of busting some heads.”
“Fine!” Pinkie cried. “Just no killing anyone!”
“Awwww…” Dan and Elise replied in unison. “Why not?”
Ninja Dave sighed. “Look, I have another solution.”
Becky frowned heavily. “I’m still not sure about this…”
Dave turned to her. “Well if things go wrong, we’d all be together anyways… And they’re all ready to go to war with the N.A.R.F., anyhow…”
Pinkie giggled. “Still funny…”
“You’re going to sneak us into their headquarters?” Elise suggested.
Dave shook his head. “No. Since Pinkie works in the foodservice industry, she’s eligible for membership. I can simply take her and ask if she can apply. If she becomes a member, only the member who has a grievance with her would be able to attack her, not the entire foundation itself.”
Pinkie inhaled a huge volume of air. “You can do that?”
“Well yeah… I mean… the only problem is I’m technically supposed to kill you when you’re done eating cookies.”
“WHAT?!” Dan and Elise roared.
“Well I wasn’t gonna!” Dave replied as he put his hands up defensively.
Pinkie paused. “What if I just don’t stop eating cookies?”
“I…” Dave paused and thought about it. “I don’t… I don’t know… I guess I’d have to ask a foundation leader about that…” Dave smiled. “And then I’d have another reason to go to the local HQ.” He gave Pinkie a serious look. “But do you think you can keep eating cookies long enough until we got to the local foundation headquarters?”
Pinkie cocked an eyebrow as she stared back at Ninja Dave. “Well d’uuuuh!”
Becky chuckled. “Heh, I think you forgot who you were talking to for a second there.”
“Uh… fair enough…” Dave replied as she smiled sheepishly, he turned towards his display case. “Let’s just make sure we have enough…” Dave trailed off as he noticed a barren display case, Chris standing behind it with a cookie in hand.
“MONKEY-FACE! STOP EATING THE TICKETS TO PINKIE’S SALVATION!” Dan cried.
“But they’re sooo good!” Chris whined.
“I think that’s enough cookies for you, mister,” Elise said sternly.
Chris sighed. “Oh… alright…”
Dave sheathed his weapon and rushed back behind the counter. “It’s alright, I’ll make more. Dan, Chris, why don’t you two help me? Pinkie, pace yourself eating the remaining cookies until we can make a bunch more batches.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie said cheerfully.
“Right,” Dan said as he rushed behind the counter. “Monkey face, make sure you don’t eat too much of the cookie dough! We need to actually make cookies for Pinkie to eat!”
“But… but… cookie dough!” Chris protested.
“I’ll keep an eye on the perimeter,” Elise said as she walked up to the blinds. She tossed a glance at Chris. “And my husband,” she added.
Chris grinned sheepishly at Elise.
“And I’ll keep an eye on the cameras,” Becky said as she walked towards the counter.
The members of the group all began occupying themselves with their assigned tasks as Pinkie slowly nibbled on a cookie in her hand.
Dave looked at Pinkie as he began adding ingredients to a large bowl in front of him. “Just to warn you, applying for membership isn’t a walk in the park. Some of the challenges are dangerous… life-threatening even.”
Pinkie merely pointed at Dan. “I live with Dan,” she reminded.
Dave thought about this briefly. “Uh… fair enough…”
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This is gonna be fun...
Again, another great addition to the already great story you have going here.
I think you meant perimeter.
*snicker*Narf*snicker* That on my top 10 worst acronyms. Right behind League Of Sick Evil Ruler or L.O.S.E.R which his an acronym i have in mind for a story where every defeated evil ruler join together ( Stoned discord, Crippled Chysalis and Sombra's horn)
How many time can someone use that line "I live with Dan" X'D Rofl.
i would have liked it better if they had assaulted NARF. (HAHAHA i am going to lafagh every time i hear that)
4517787
Fixed! Thank you!
Pinkie will be queen of NARF by the end
PINKIE!! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
I think so, Dan! But if it was only supposed to be a three hour tour, why did the Howells bring all their money? NARF!
Pinkie, are you ponderoing what Im pondering?
I think so Dan, but if I cant throw a party in the party headquarters, whats the POIT?
movie
"Were you followed?"
dairy
4516556
Check the chapter title please.
4519191
She is , but Becky was talking about Ninja Dave there. Sorry that wasn't clear.
NARF
Pfft yeah, I wouldn't join either.
But... Will they try to make Pinkie kill people?
N.A.R.F.
heheheh
word ‘Midi-chlorian’!”
Not so much an error as a generic 'Hsss! It burns us, precious!'
you’re opinions
YOU ARE OPINIONS! ALL OF YOU! (Your, possessive, since.. you know, those are the opinions of someone.)
“We are we taking
...I think that's "Are we taking
“Where you
And someone else already pointed to that one, so yeah.
Pinkie cracking up over NARF! ...She would so get along with a humanized Pinkie.
...Wait. Pinkie... and.. Pinkie? 
*Brainfault, system reboot*
That is actually a pretty clever system, food would be almost holy to a restaurant foundation, and considering Pinkie's Pure, Good, and Natural approach, her trial by fire may involve... dare I say it...
Preservatives. Or Artificial colors and flavors.
...They will break her.
Wonderful chapter, well done once again.
It's too bad Pinkie can't get in on the baking, she'd probably double the production.
4521072 How do you think this makes ME feel?
4518821
4521112
Got these corrections! Thank you!
LIFE GIVING COOKIES
I like this turn of events. Loophole exploitation to the max. Plus, that last bit about living with Dan: great.
my one and only concern, and I'm just laying this on the table based on how many times its been brought up, is that my guess is that Pinkie's initiation into NARF is... to murder someone!
That would be ironically tragic. Sure hope that doesn't come to pass.
I really recommend changing the rating from 'Teen' to 'Sex', etc. Really good though! And I really wouldn't mind seeing what would happen if Dan found himself in Equestria somehow. ;)
4523805
The point is to support "the confidence, enthusiasm, and discipline of a person or group at a particular time".
"Morale support" is correct, which is why what Becky said was a pun.
4523924
I think it's because most people mishear the phrase, "morale support", as "moral support". Because of that "moral support" is colloquially correct, people will perfectly understand you in spoken and written language, but "morale support" is technically correct.
I'm not a grammar nazi, or in this case a semantics nazi, so I normally don't care, it's not a big deal, but Dan is Dan, and he would care. Because Dan is Dan.
*sits patiently waiting for a new chapter*
Awesome chapter!
Holy balls this is long. I'll have to add this to the Read Later list just so I don't get distracted from my work for the next month!
4522114 I went seven days without ready any of the Wheel and the Butterfly (totally my fault). I'm so sorry I was missing all of this!
and why you’re opinions are bad and wrong
1. Your.
I keep finding members of the League commenting here... Wonder why...
It's like Dave doesn't even know his friends!
We must rectify this! 
Ouch! Razor burn!
So what, we've got the Chuunin exams, with a life timer on Pinkie measured in cookies?
...I can already tell I'm going to love this arc.
4684644 cause this story be FUCKING EPIC
Chapter 117: May the Farce Be With You
Dan would have loved Redlettermedia's absolute shredding of the prequels... and the psychotic 100+ year old Mr. Plinkett.
4521112
We are all mere opinions of the universe, reflections of its musings on its own meaning and purpose...
("Duuuuude, that's totally deep!")
N.A.R.F. is worse than O.W.C.A.!
Do-bee-do-bee-do-wah!
6143073
actually I would disagree with that statement N.A.R.F.f is actually very amusing whereas O.W.C.A. is just bad, besides I heard pinkie say narf, you know pinkie like in Pinky and the brain, only pinkie with an IE .
6764845 Dude, relax. It was just a silly comment. Would it help if I apologised?
4772921
I can't be the only one who wants to see that as a video game hack.
I personally really like Ep. 3.
And will someone please tell me what NARF means.
7115488 It's a common sound that Pinky from Pinky and the Brain tended to make.