The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 8 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Ordinary Week
Chapter 57: Dr. Jerk & Party Hard Vs. Terri-Man
*****
Author’s Notes: More music. Version with lyrics here.
*****
“Awww, but up until things went all crashy, it was a lot of fun!” Pinkie complained in response to the masked man’s desire for a resolution.
The man in black pointed a fist at the crashed gyrocopter. A fist that soon began to brighten and crackle with energy. Dan and Pinkie quickly exited what was left of the vehicle before a laser bolt shot into it, destroying what was left.
“No more Mr. Nice Superhero.” The muscular man announced.
“Excuse you, but when were you ever nice!?” Dan exclaimed.
“He’s got you there.” Pinkie added, motioning out to Dan.
“It’s cute that you two think I care.” The muscular man growled out.
“We’ll show YOU cute!” Pinkie replied, angrily shoving something into the hand of the tall man in front of her.
The man looked down at the item in the hand to see that Pinkie had given him a picture of a fluffy bunny. He scowled at Pinkie and Dan from behind his visor. “I see you two aren’t taking this seriously, yet. You should know that Terrifi-Guy is no more! I am now Terri-Man!” He announced, flexing for dramatic effect.
“Huh…the name is an improvement.” Dan responded.
“Yeah.” Pinkie agreed. “It works on a couple levels.”
Dan scrunched his lips to one side of his face as he looked up and down the costume. “Costume could use some work…I mean…black and red has been done to death…”
Pinkie nodded vigorously. “It kinda looks like someone just took a quick glance on the internet to see what everyone else thought was cool and ran with it…”
Dan nodded. “Could have used some evil shade of purple…”
“Oooo! Yeah!” Pinkie replied. She turned to the ex-superhero. “You should redo your lettering in like…Byzantium…or…Eminence.”
Terri-man sighed. “Do you two every stop talking?!”
“Noper!” Pinkie replied, cheerfully singing her head from side to side.
“Wait… Byzantium and Eminence are shades of purple?!” Dan exclaimed.
“Uh-huh!” Pinkie affirmed.
“Geez! I feel excited just hearing the names!” Dan exclaimed.
Pinkie turned back to Terri-Man. “Hey! How about you go and retool your costume and come back? With a few changes, I bet you can really impress us!”
The man in black reached down and grabbed Pinkie by her suspenders, effortlessly lifting her into the air. “Impressed, yet?” He asked in a sinister tone.
“Eeep…” Pinkie uttered in a worried tone.
“LET HER GO!” Dan demanded.
From behind the visor, the ex-superhero smirked. “Gladly.” He flicked out his fingers, the force of which sent Pinkie flying through the air and into a large, pane glass window of a coffee shop that did very little to slow her flight.
Dan cringed as he heard a loud bang and crash as well as the sounds of several startled occupants of the coffee shop.
The man in black laughed maniacally. “HAHAHAHA, Still having fun?!” He called out.
“Oh, that is IT!” Dan announced. “DRAGON STANCE!” He began tensing his arms and legs about in an attempt at martial arts stances. “HAIYA!” Dan let loose a solid punch, his fist made a small cracking noise as it impacted Terri-Man’s chest. “OW!” He exclaimed, giving his hand a shake.
Terri-Man chuckled. “I can’t believe you tried that on me a second time.”
Dan continued to shake his throbbing hand. “A man’s gotta try…” He replied.
Terri-Man knitted his brow as he stared at Dan. “You’re remarkably calm for someone whose girlfriend was just got thrown through a window.”
Dan looked back at the coffee shop, then back to Terri-man and shrugged. “I’ve seen her inflict worse on herself, honestly.”
Terri-Man sighed. “I see I’m going to have to beat some fear into you. Tell you what. I’ll be sporting and only use my pinkie.” Terri-man said, extending a digit out on his right hand.
Dan rolled his eyes. “Did you right that one down?”
“Huh? What are you babbling on about?”
“Oh right, you don’t know her…”
Terri-Man extended fist under Dan’s chin and flicked his pinkie up.
‘CRACK’
Dan’s head snapped back and his vision went white.
He lowered his head felt around his mouth with his tongue, then spit out part of a broken tooth. “…name.” He finished.
Terri-Man grumbled irritably and flicked his pinkie into Dan’s stomach, causing the air in Dan’s lungs to flee his body.
Dan fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around his stomach, gasping for air. He looked up at Terri-Man with something that looked like the love child between a smirk and a sneer. “Is that all you got?”
Terri-Man glowered at the man in a ‘JERK’ shirt and mask. “I’m going to enjoy this…”
*
“Miss! Are you alright?!” A female employee of the coffee shop inquired.
Pinkie woozily looked up to the coffee store employee hovering over her. “Cough, cough…No…but I’ve inflicted worse on myself…” Pinkie placed a hand down to push herself up, but felt something cool and cylindrical shaped as opposed to the floor. She picked up the item and examined it. Her eyes widened as she examined the bottle of flavored syrup.
Looking around. She saw she was currently resting in a pile of them.
She shot up to her feet and placed a hand on the employee in front of her. “I need you to make me a drink with all of these flavors!”
“Wha…ALL of them!?”
Pinkie grinned wildly and nodded. “Oooo! And add a few dozen shots of espresso!”
“I…ARE YOU INSANE?!” The woman replied.
Pinkie nodded her head up and down vigorously. “I suuure am!”
“Uh…right…just checking…”
-
Dan spit a viscous glob of blood out of his mouth as he pushed himself off the ground with his hands. He looked up at Terri-Man and flashed him a mouth full of red tinted teeth.
“Maybe you should try your ring finger.” Dan suggested. “My grandma could hit harder than that!”
Terri-Man roared angrily and flicked the side of Dan’s head with his pinkie, causing a sickly sounding crack as Dan’s head snapped to the side.
Dan rubbed his neck and rotated his head, grimacing with the pain. “Yeah…definitely not as bad as grandma…” He muttered.
-
“I’m afraid to ask…but do you want whipped cream on this?” The coffee store employee asked.
Pinkie give the employee an enthusiastic head bob. “Of course!”
The employee cringed as she unloaded a dollop of whipped cream into the large, paper coffee cup and handed it to Pinkie.
She stepped back as employees and customers alike watched in awe as Pinkie quickly drank down the viscous, sugary, highly caffeinated beverage.
Pinkie’s eyes began to twitch rapidly and uncontrollably as they widened. Her pupils shrank to pin pricks then suddenly grew, almost consuming her sky-blue irisis in deep, starry blackness.
“C-C-C-ontrol…body…muscle…mind…merely…atoms...air…push…control…” Pinkie muttered.
“Shadow. Wraith. Illusion. Poison. Seduction. DISGUISE. CONTROL…CONTROL! AAAAAAAAAAA!
“Uh…are you alright?” The coffee employee asked tentatively. The employee looked on in shock.
Are her eyes…spinning?!
No…they stopped and but, she’s…ringing, like a slot machine?! Are her eye’s flashing…
--♫
… ‘Party Hard’?!
Pinkie looked at the coffee store employee with a mad grin. “All systems one-hundred percent. Feeling Pinkie keen!”
In a pink flash, she was gone. Leaving the store’s tip jar stuffed to the brim with money.
-
“Well, you’ve got spirit Dr. Jerk. I’ll give you that.” Terri-Man stated as he lifted Dan up by an arm.
Dan hung limply from his appendage, but still managed to glower at Terri-Man. “You mind working my right side a bit? I think you’ve done a great job with the left, but you seem to be missing a sizeable portion of my body.”
Terri-Man grinned evilly from behind his visor and reached out for Dan’s right arm. “No problem. I think I’ll start with breaking this…”
Dan began to open his mouth to speak, but stopped when he saw a flash of pink out of the corner of his eye.
‘POW’
Terri-Man went sailing down the street, flying several dozen yards away before smashing into the front of a car that buckled under the impact.
Dan felt something catch him and looked up into the wild, smiling face of his girlfriend.
Pinkie gently lowered Dan to the ground.
“HeyDan!HowAreYouDoing?!YouLookHurt!That’sOkay!We’llGetYouPatchedUp!HEY!DidYouKnowIHaveLikeABunchMorePinkieSensesICan’tUsuallyFeal!?”
“Uh…”
Pinkie slammed her foot into a manhole cover on the ground, it flew up with the impact, spinning rapidly. “JustASecond,Okay?!I’mGoingToGoBeatThatGuyUpWithThisRoundMetalHoleCoverThingy!”
Pinkie reached out for the manhole cover and tossed it out as if she was throwing a Frisbee.
Terri-Man moaned and placed a gloved hand on the back of his helmet.
What…what hit me?
‘CLANG’
What hit me THAT time?
Terri-Man looked up, the answer to both questions quickly became apparent as he gazed upon the crazed looking woman with pink, curly hair; in a black mask; holding a manhole cover above her head.
Pinkie happily answered Terri-Man’s question over and over again as she repeatedly brought the heavy, metal disc down on his mask.
Terri-Man flung a hand out wildly, missing the girl, but hitting the manhole cover.
“Laser!”
Terri-Man shouted as a bolt of energy flew from his fist with a ‘ZZohwap!’ and hit the metal disk, destroying it.
He glared at the grinning girl in front of him. “Laser!”
‘ZZohwap!’
In a pink flash, Pinkie was a few feet from the spot she had been standing. “Missed me~!”
“Laser!”
‘ZZohwap!’
“Missed again!”
“Laser!” “Laser!” “Laser!”
‘ZZohwap!’ ‘ZZohwap!’ ‘ZZohwap!’
“Noper!” “Try again!” “Better luck next time!”
Dan gawked at the scene in front of him. “I am so in love with that girl…” He muttered.
--♫
He turned as a very large truck with a large flatbed trailer carried arrived with a very large black robot. Dan wasted no time and clambering up the large robot towards the car interior turned cockpit.
--♫
“Dan?!” Elise called from an open car door a few stories up on the robot.
--♫
“You’re LATE, Dancing Shadow!” Dan growled out as he continued his climb over the robots irregularly shaped exterior.
--♫
“What’s this about you and Pinkie being dead?!” Elise leaned out her hand for Dan to grab. “HEY!”
--♫
“Talk later...” Dan replied, pulling Elise out of the cockpit.
--♫
Elise landed neatly on the ground, extending an arm and her legs out to soften the fall.
“…Fight now.”
“Dan!” Elise called out. “You don’t even know…”
--♫
Soon, the robot came to life. Elise dove behind the cab of the truck as rockets emerged from the back of the robot. Fire shot out from the robots back rockets and feet as it was propelled into the air.
--♫
Elise sighed. “…start it…”
Dan continued to grin behind the bruises on his face as the words “Cast in the name of God, Ye not Guilty.” Flashed in front of him.
--♫
“Laser!”
‘ZZohwap!’
“Oh, you’re getting closer!”
--♫
“HOLD STILL!” Terri-Man demanded.
Pinkie felt her body shake and looked up. “Uh-oh…” She quickly made herself scarce.
“THAT’S THE OPPOSITE…” Terri-Man suddenly noticed the shadow cast over him and looked up…
--♫
…in time to have a giant robot land on top of him
--♫
“MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Dan laughed maniacally as he shifted the robot and punched the spot he had landed on with a giant metal fist.
--♫
Terri-Man emerged from the crater and gave a savage yell as a second metal fist approached. He slammed his own fist against it causing the metal to bend and break under the impact.
--♫
The piston on the back of the arm lurched forward sending explosive energy forward into the bent fist which flew apart with the impact, sending a shower of metal and Terri-Man down the street.
--♫
Chest compartments on the robots chest opened suddenly, lifting the car like cockpit up and revealing two sets of three cannons that began to fire shells down the street.
--♫
Terri-Man stopped in midair as cannon blasts struck him and the street around him. He fell to the ground, but quickly recovered, flying past the onslaught of shells to deliver a solid punch into the robot’s chest that knocked it onto its back.
--♫
Terri-Man flew up to look down into the cockpit where he was greeted by Dan’s wicked, grinning face. Terri-Man pointed a fist directly at Dan that began to crackle with energy but paused when he heard the world’s fastest rendition of a jack-in-the box playing Pop Goes the Weasel.
--♫
He turned to see the now familiar site of a madly grinning Pinkie. She rapidly spun a lever on the side of large box that opened as the song finished, shooting forth a giant boxing glove attached to a spring that smashed into the supervillain and sent him flying again.
-o
--♫
“Are you alright?!” Mike called as he quickly exited the truck cab.
“Fine!” Elise stated. “Help me get the laser we didn’t have time to install ready.”
--♫
Mike glanced over at the battle between supervillain; sugar and caffeinated hyped pink blur, and giant robot. “Do you think they need our help?!”
--♫
Elise smiled. “Who cares about that?! How many other opportunities am I going to have to shoot a supervillain with a giant laser?!”
-o
Terri-Man swung a giant, red, metal ‘I’ beam at the grinning girl in front of him as the two battled in a partially constructed building.
“STOP MOVING!” He demanded. “Wait where…”
“Here I am!”
Terri-Man glanced up the giant I beam to see Pinkie rapidly running down it, quickly followed by the bottom of her shoe as she extended a kick into his visor.
Terri-Man flew back into the street with the force of the impact where he was greeted by a barrage of Gatling gun bullets.
Dan paused as he heard a ringing the cockpit, he pressed a flashing red button. “Hello?”
“Hello, ‘sup?” A voice called out in the cockpit.
Dan grinned. “Nothing D…getting a giant laser ready to shoot a supervillain.” He adjusted his joysticks, and depressed a button, causing a beam to admit from above the car-cockpit and into Terri-Man who was, up until that point, walking forward as he shielded his body from the bullet bombardment.
Terri-Man flew backwards as the laser beam impacted his body.
“What’s up with you?” Dan asked.
“Nothing…” Elise replied. “Getting a giant laser ready to shoot a supervillain.”
“True, True…This is excellent work by the way. I take back…one bad thing I’ve said about you!”
“Uh…which one?”
“I’m in such a good mood, I’ll let you pick!” Dan replied.
--♫
“Gee, thanks…”
--♫
Terri-Man rose from his smoking hole in the ground. His cape having been fried, and his enforced suit now holey and tattered in places.
Without warning a now familiar pink blur struck him, launching him through an office building window.
--♫
Pinkie wasted no time grabbing an office chair and smashing it against the dazed supervillain. She zoomed off to grab something else.
--♫
Terri-Man looked up and pounced, managing to connect with Pinkie for a change, the dive sent both crashing through another window back into the street.
--♫
“Got you!” Terri-Man announced.
--♫
“HEY! DARTH VADER REJECT!” Elise called out.
Terri-Man looked up to see he was directly in the path of a large, spherical shaped cannon pointed at him.
--♫
“Whoops! Pie in your face!” Pinkie called.
“Wha…” Terri-Man’s vision was suddenly obscured by something white and creamy.
A giant blast erupted from the laser Elise and Mike were standing behind.
Terri-Man found his vision clearing into white, hot searing pain as the pie quickly evaporated along with more of his outfit and his helmet.
--♫
Dan sighed as he added his own laser blast into the mix. “Why do you get the bigger laser?!”
--♫
“You’re piloting a giant robot and you’re still complaining?!” Elise shouted into her headset.
--♫
“That was supposed to be my laser!” Dan whined.
--♫
“Don’t you think you have bigger problems?!” Elise responded.
--♫
Dan spied Terri-Man down the street. Still standing, his now exposed face displaying absolute rage.
Dan also took note of a large, sling-slot Pinkie had apparently erected to launch herself out of, as evident that she was leaning back in the flexible material.
“I think Pinkie has it under control… Hey! The startup is cool, but I was thinking something more…vengeancey…”
--♫
“Wheeeeeee!” Pinkie exclaimed as she ceased digging into the ground with her heals and shoot herself into Terri-Man’s bulk.
The two flew through another window into an industrial looking building.
--♫
Terri-Man shook his head and surveyed his surroundings. “What? Who would make a dune buggy and fireworks factory?”
--♫
“Probably someone totally radical.” Pinkie answered over the sound of engines starting.
Terri-Man turned to the sound of the voice, Pinkie stood balancing her feet between two dune buggies.
Pinkie smiled. “I tied your feet to these two small car dealies by the way…”
--♫
Terri-Man looked down at his thrashed boots and noticed a rope tied to either ankle, leading to the two vehicles Pinkie was standing on.
“I hate you so much…”
--♫
Pinkie grinned. “Oh, I’m soooo scared…” She replied she quickly did a handstand and placed two small anvils onto the gas pedals of the buggies. She flipped off the devices as they surged forward and Pinkie quickly exited the dangerous building
--♫
Terri-Man’s feet were pulled out from under him as the buggies crashed into a wall of boxes marked ‘DANGER’ and ‘EXPLOSIVE’
Soon colorful fireworks were shooting out in all directions from the building.
--♫
Terri-Man smashed through a random wall and back into the street…
--♫
…where he was hit with a giant mallet that Pinkie swung, launching him high into the air.
--♫
Dan smiled as he watched the super hero ark into the air. “Got you…” He pressed a button in front of him.
--♫
Compartments on the robots chest in between the metal grill on the front opened as a series of missiles shot out.
--♫
“Oooo! That looks like fun!” Pinkie stated as she zoomed onto and on top of the robot.
--♫
Dan heard a rapid pitter patter of footsteps as Pinkie got a running jump off his roof and onto one of the just fired missiles.
--♫
Terri-Man regained flight control just to notice the barrage of missiles heading his way.
--♫
“Laser!”
‘ZZohwap!’
‘KERSPLODE!’
--♫
Terri-Man continued dispatching missiles, until get caught something pink moving along the top of them, jumping from missile to missile.
--♫
“That’s impossible…” He muttered as he aimed at an approaching missiles as Pinkie jumped onto it.
--♫
“Laser!”
‘ZZohwap!’
Pinkie jumped.
--♫
‘KERSPLODE!’
--♫
“PINKIE KICK!” Pinkie shouted as she swung a leg around her body, connecting her shoe with Terri-Man’s neck.
--♫
Terri-Man had time to utter a startled yelp as he flew backwards into the remaining approaching missiles.
--♫
‘KAAAABOOOOOM!’
Pinkie glanced beneath her to see the ground rapidly approaching. “Wha-oh…I did not think this through…”
Before she could descend much further, a large, black, metal palm extended out, stopping her descent.
Pinkie and the pilot of the giant robot exchanged giant grins, cut short by Pinkie’s trembling.
She looked out to see a black blur rapidly approaching.
“Eeep!” Pinkie jumped off the hand and onto the cockpit of the robot as Terri-Man shot through the arm joint at an incredible speed, separating arm from robot. She held tight as Terri-Man turned, and came back for a second pass. This time through the back of the robot and out the front, sending twisted pieces of metal out in all directions.
Pinkie held on tight as Dan attempted a controlled decent with the rockets on the robots legs. It still hit the ground hard, causing Pinkie to smash her face against the top of the robot. Her limp body rolled off the roof and onto the street below.
Dan threw open the black car door and began climbing down the damaged robot.
“Pinkie!? Pinkie!? Are you alright?!” Dan called out in a panicked tone. He sprinted to the body of the woman lying in the street and prospered her head up to face her.
Pinkie blearily looked up as a Dan’s face and black mask came into focus. “Heeeey, Dan.” She answered as blood continued to pour out of her nose. “Partying hard really hurts…I think all my muscles are on fire inside of me…” She murmured softly.
Dan smiled, and scooped Pinkie up into his arms to embrace her. He quietly whispered, “I thought I lost you there, for a second,” into her ear.
Pinkie giggled. “Hehe, you really thought you’d be rid of me that easily?” She replied as a grin spread across her face and she returned the hug.
Dan pulled back just enough to lock eyes with Pinkie. He stared past the blood that ran down her nose and over her mouth and quickly found himself lost in the sky of Pinkie’s large, beautiful, blue eyes.
“Never.” Dan murmured as the sunlight shined against the couple’s bruised and blood-spattered outfits
Pinkie and Dan closed their eyes as they pursed their lips.
Dan tilted his head slightly, leaned in, and…
Heard the sounds of cracking concrete as Terri-Man landed hard on the ground a few yards away.
Dan and Pinkie synchronized sighing as they looked over the supervillain who now looked about as bruised and battered as they were.
“Touching.” Terri-Man uttered in a mocking tone.
Pinkie made a disgusted noise. “UhIg! Is it too much to ask I get one bloody kiss with my boyfriend before we fight some more?” Pinkie exclaimed.
“You’re like a bad penny.” Dan stated, shaking his head and looking over at Terri-Man.
Terri-Man trudged over to the couple. “Still not afraid, huh? Well…” He reached down and easily pulled Pinkie from Dan’s grasp. “Maybe THIS will help.”
“Eeep…again…” Pinkie cried as Terri-Man wrapped a muscled arm around her and clutched her to his chest.
“LET HER GO!” Dan demanded. “But do it with less throwing into a building this time!” He added.
“I don’t think so Dr. Jerk. While, it’s commendable you can withstand tremendous physical pain…” Terri-Man raised a fist next to Pinkie’s head who gulped in response. “I’m guessing you might care if I blow her head off in front of you.”
“Dan! Don’t worry about me! Take him out.” Pinkie cried.
“Yes, reach for the squirt gun on your utility belt.” Terri-Man said as he grinned maliciously. “Let’s see if hot sauce travels faster than a point blank laser to the temple.”
“PUT HER DOWN!”
The group turned to see Elise pointing a boxy pistol at Terri-Man. Mechanic Mike standing behind her.
Terri-Man chuckled darkly. “A gun, really?” He purred out. “You have a much higher chance of hurting her!” Terri-Man said, squeezing Pinkie in response.
Pinkie squeaked not unlike a dog’s chew toy as the pressure increased on her.
Everyone paused as they processed what they heard.
“Wow…you’re really something else, aren’t you?” Terri-Man uttered.
Pinkie nodded. “If you can make me sneeze, I might just fire confetti out of my nose…”
“ENOUGH TALK!” Terri-Man roared. He glared back at Dan. “What’s it going to be?”
Dan felt his heart thump in his chest as he glanced up into Pinkie’s blood splattered face, a feeling of unmistakable dread permeated through his body as he considered the idea of losing Pinkie Pie.
“Alright…you win…” Dan replied, he slowly reached for his hot sauce filled squirt gun and let it fall to the ground. “Let her go. I’m the one you want…”
“Dan, you IDIOT!” Elise called. “He wants to kill you both!” She reminded.
“Oh…right…” Dan uttered as fear overtook his features.
Terri-Man laughed. “HAHAHAHAHA, that’s the expression I was looking for.” He smiled wide as his fist began to crackle with energy. “Say, Goodbye…”
“HEY! JERK-FACE. FEEL THE STING OF STEEL SCORPION!”
Terri-Man turned just in time to see a bright red cupcake collide with his face.
“AH! HOT SAUCE! WHY IS MY WEAKNESS SO EASY TO EXPLOIT AND ALSO PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE?!”
Pinkie squirmed in Terri-Man’s grasp, freeing an arm. She thrust her elbow into Terri-Man’s face, smashing the cupcake into it further.
Terri-Man released his grasp on the pink haired girl as he tried to rub the mass of cupcake off his face. As he did he heard the chorus of a familiar sound he had learned to loathe.
He whipped away enough of the spicy mass of cake and hot sauce to see five Super Soaker barrels pointed directly at him.
Terri-Man sighed.
“…”
“Okay.”
Dan, Pinkie, Elise, Chris, and Mike all pulled their triggers releasing a cascade of red liquid into the hapless supervillain who wailed in response.
As the streams of red ceased, a small, thin hot sauce covered man stood in front of the group of five. He glowered out at them. “Oh! Just wait until I get my powers back! I WILL RAIN VENGEANCE ON ALL OF YOU THE LIKES OF…”
The group looked at him briefly, then turned to face each other.
“Well, that was fun!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“I know right!” Dan answered enthusiastically. “That robot was awesome, we’ll have to rebuild it sometime! And HEY! You had superpowers!”
“I know!” Pinkie replied happily, quickly replacing her expression with a frown. “The hangover hurts like you wouldn’t believe, though…” She said, leaning against Dan for support.
Dan winced. “So does getting hit repeatedly with a super strong pinkie.” He replied, also leaning against Pinkie for support.
“Huh?” Pinkie responded in a confused tone. “But I didn’t hit you…”
“No, you see…” Dan sighed. “Just forget about it.”
“DONE!” Pinkie replied exuberantly.
“Hey, let’s not forget who saved the day with his killer cupcake sting!” Chris interjected.
Elise grinned as she gave Chris an enthusiastic slap on the shoulder. “That was a nice throw! And I got to fire a giant laser!”
“Uh…I helped setup the laser…and build the mech…” Mike interjected.
“HEY! I’M SWEARING VENGEANCE OVER HERE!”
The five turned towards the tiny man, still soaked in hot sauce, then quickly went back to their conversation.
“So! Who’s hungry?” Pinkie asked. “I think I depleted my body of almost all calories with all that zooming around…”
“I’m hungry.” Chris replied.
“Oh, like that’s a surprise!” Dan retorted.
The group began to walk off towards a familiar blue sedan.
“Dan! Cut him some slack.” Elise said. “He did save your girlfriend and even all of us, possibly.”
“Yeah, Dan!” Pinkie replied. “My head was going to be all explody! Like POW”
Dan sighed. “Oh, all right…I do enjoy your head.”
There was a small wave of sniggering from the group.
“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT, YOU FILTHY GUTTER RATS!” Dan yelled.
“Hey…uh…shouldn’t we take you two to a hospital, or somethin’?” Mike suggested.
“HOSPITALS ARE FOR SQUARES!” Dan and Pinkie shouted back in unison.
“HEY!” The thin man formally known as Terri-Man, shouted out as he began to pursue the group. “I’M GOING TO COME FOR YOU! I’LL GETWHOA…”
‘SPLASH’
“AHHHH! NOW I’M HOT AND SMELLY!” A small voice called out from the open manhole in the street. “WHY AM I SO BAD AT THIS?!” The voice turned angry once more. “I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE DR. JERK AND PARTY HARD! I WILL HAVE MY…”
“NO ONE CARES!” The group shouted back.
“…sigh.”
He likes her head...
Epic.
Cool.
best superpower trigger in the world... extreme amounts of caffeine
Yeah, you can't really do anything to him short of death that his hellish childhood ain't done already.
Oh, ponyfeathers.
By Celestia's Incandescent Plot! Are you trying to kill us all!
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pictures.mastermarf.com/blog/2011/110221-pinky-pie-550.jpg
So Pinkie got onto enough of a sugar/caffeine high to become a combination of Sonic the Hedgehog and Screwy Squirrel, by way of Mr. Myxlplyx and Harley Quinn. There is not a dang thing wrong with that sentence.
Boy, does this guy not get his audience.
Also, not sure how conscious this is, but the entire thing put me in mind of the two fights against Tighten from Megamind. I mean, antihero transformed into productive member of society by romantic relationship battles an evil flying brick of his own creation using various high tech weapons, including a black, super Metal mech? Granted the intervention by superhuman was actually Megs in the movie, but still, its pretty close. And I can see them getting on the good side of the news coverage the event may have, and Dan freaking out at getting actual positive attention for something. Again, not a perfect match, but there are some overlaps.
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/041/7/d/megamind_motivational_poster_by_flamebrain-d398dqi.jpg
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I rest my case.
Also that could be a sege into a future arc with Imposter!Dan.(hint, hint) But that could really just be me wanting to see Pinkie take him apart. She is, after all essentially the Anti-Plan. No Stratagy survives contact with the enemy, but no causality survives contact with Pinkie Pie.
3624807
I haven't seen Megamind, so it's a happy coincidence.
I came up with the idea that Pinkie would go on some sort of crazy, cartoony sugary caffeine rush and fight Terrifi-Guy (I hadn't even thought to make him a villain yet) a day or two after I started this plot.
It actually took me a while to figure out what Dan would do, if anything. For a while, the idea was he would drink some of the same substance Pinkie did and it would turn him into an evil genius, and he'd dissemble the coffee shop shelves and make a ballista then load it with explosives that were in his car (the gyrocopter idea also came latter). This still made him little more than a distraction as even a ballista bolt with dynimate wouldn't do much against a superhero like Terrifi-Guy.
Somehow the idea of him having a giant robot entered my brain and I ran with it, figuring that I should just go ahead and make the whole fight as ridiculously action packed as possible.
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Just saw your Dan* comment. As I mentioned way back the last time somepony asked me:
Yes, there are plans for Dan*.
*Impostor.
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Well, it came off pretty well. Actually, I would tentatively recommend seeing Megamind. It does a very good job deconstructing the role of the designated villian in Superhero stories and to an extent fiction in general. I think it may offer some bit of insight into Dan, especially as to his reasoning and motivation as far as being, well evil, if only in the pettiest way possible. But that's just my opinion.
Actually, on a D&D alignment graph, Dan started out as a low ambition Neutral Evil or Chaotic Evil, and Pinkie was certainly Chaotic Good. Both have since move toward each other and are stable around Chaotic Neutral, though Pinkie is still right on the cusp of being good- as per her intentions, even if the damages they cause make sure they won't make the high grade there. Chris is and was True Neutral with lawful tendencies, and Elise is Lawful Neutral. Incidentally, on the antagonist side Terri-whoever was Lawful Good, but fell to Lawful Evil; and Elise's parents are Lawful Evil but try to claim Lawful Neutral; the Windego, being a monster, was Chaotic Evil.
It is worth noting that Chaotic Neutral is the alignment of a amoral sociopath, a nihilist, or somebody mad enough that morality, chaos and order have no real meaning. People playing that alignment do so for the total freed om of action; they are ruled by whims and tend to foil the plans of both aliies and enemies as it amuses them. Also, its the same alignment as Discord after his rehabilitation. Just Sayin'
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Don't tell me, at the end the two dans fight and get all tossy and Elise, Chris and Pinkie don't know who the real Dan is, right?
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And then Pinkie shots them both in the leg so she can figure out who is who at her leisure.
Seriously though, In both Dan Vs. episodes, Elise and Chris never had much trouble telling the difference between the Dans (there's some small physical differences, and the voice is way different). As goofy and air-headed as Pinkie can be, I doubt she'd have trouble telling the difference between her boyfriend and an impostor unless the impostor underwent surgery of some sort to more or less transform himself into Dan.
What I have planned is more in line with the off the wall craziness people hopefulyl come to expect from this fic.
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They also have different eye colors, as well. Dan is a sharpish emerald shade, while Dan* has flat greyish blue irises. Not to mention his deeper, more sonorous voice and less nasal accent.
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Yeah, That was a gut punch when I saw the movie at like, 7. Still, he always comes back; usually with an upgrade. Heroic cycles. Whattaya gonna do?
Not my favorite chapter...I have no clue why. I enjoyed 80 percent of the story so far but my eyes just started glazing over in this chap.
How do you do it? You post several amazing story per week, and it feels like you're working in several other things! Mindblown, im sleep deprived now because of you , i've literally been awake 31 hours straight since i found your dan x pinkie pie story. It is 4'o clock and i just cannot put my ipad down for some sleep. Pleas keep up the good work my favoritt author
That fight was epic.
"Until he caught something".
I totally didn't see that sick save by Steel Scorpion. Kudos.
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It was nice to finally get Chris involved.
I take it the Roxas quote I'm seeing is coincidental?
Roxas: I hate you so much!
DiZ: You should share some of that hatred with Sora. He's far too nice for his own good.
"Did you right that one down"
Did you mean write
Do you two every stop talking
Did you right that one down
ICan’tUsuallyFeal
He turned to see the now familiar site of a madly grinning Pinkie
causing a beam to admit from above the car-cockpit and into Terri-Man
Pinkie exclaimed as she ceased digging into the ground with her heals and shoot herself into Terri-Man’s bulk
She replied she quickly did a handstand
Terri-Man continued dispatching missiles, until get caught something pink moving along
He muttered as he aimed at an approaching missiles
1. Ever.
2. Write.
3. Feel.
4. Sight.
5. I think you mean Emit.
6. Heels, Shot.
7. She replied as she quickly did a handstand.
8. He. (Still here for some reason... oh yeah, you didn't mark it yet.)
9. Missile.
I'll be honest, I have NEVER been more happy that Chris and Dan are friends! ...I sound like these people are real...
Excuse me, I need to go re-think my life.
So....... many...chapters of awesome.....
I'm only on 66! ok my break's over
Loved all the references in this chapter. Forgot to comment on the Big O reference from an earlier chapter, by the way--love me some Big O references.
...but the Budweiser "True" campaign? Really?
By the way, you need to go back and proof/edit this particular chapter ASAP because it is SEVERELY fucked up error-wise. I'd do it right now but I'm running on fumes.
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Finally, someone got this one!
this is what I thought of when I read the part where she squeaked.
4778180 You and I read and watch and quote all the same stuff....
It's almost spooky.
We should totally get together and plan world domination.
Great song choice. Probably my favorite of all the songs you've chosen. Made the chapter like 1000 times more epic than it already was.
I can't help but snicker. The name Terri-man makes me think of Terryman from Kinnikuman.
Terri-man sighed. “Do you two every stop talking?!”
ever actually. twilight would be very disappointed in you... also Fluttershy would cry.
Not really my kind of music, but I can totally see Pinkie Pie beating the hell out of a superhero/villain to that song.
Why can't they just freeze Terri-Man in a chamber of frozen hot sauce, like Mermaid Man did with Man-Ray?
5743715 Or like electro from amazing spiderman 2
5771589 son of a... i hate comment sections. goddamn spoilers...
Some homonym confusion here, like arc->ark and heel->heal
Fast heroes have always been awesome.
3624807 Nice song choice. I was thinking that the entire time.
Now imagine Maud and Limestone hearing about Terri-Man trying to kill Pinkie. He would not survive the protective older sisters' wrath.
All I can think of now is 'Terry Towel-head Man'
faadooindia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/5087_INDIAN-Super-Heroes-As-Avengers_faadooindia.com_.jpg
Maybe the guy in the back?
.
This bit Pinkie does reminds me of Jinx - League of Legends
I am going to draw Pinkie in a tight super suit in front of Dan's giant robot thanks to this chapter.
7560601 show it to us when you are done please
I loved every word of this chapter. Fucking brilliant!
This is my third re-read of this fic, and shit like this never gets old.
please tell me the song that was once here was smile hd
So many re-reads later, this shit STILL doesn’t get old.
You know, this reminds me of a Ranma 1/2 and Sailor Moon fanfic I read a long time ago. It’s hard to explain the premise of it, but let’s say that Ranma had his left arm dislocated and then uttered this line:
”Blocked a manhole cover doing Mach 1.8. Turned out to be a bad idea. Who knew? Actually, it’s not so bad. It’s annoying, that’s all. The broken left femur is what I’m pissed about.
I think Captain A-hole is about to find out both those things and probably a lot more before Pinkie is done with him.
Yeah.... I doubt very seriously that Dan would ever see those words if he got into an actual mech from Big O.
Oh, Dan....You walked right into that one.
Link me to this song plz