Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet - AKA: The Best Story Ever
Characters:

Stoner Spike
Paranoid Lyra
Trollestia
Darth Pinkius
Double Rainbow Dash
Marshmallow Rarity
Hotdiggedydemon's Fluttershy
Talos Angel's Reimu
Gilfred von Baggins
Hans von Hozel as Himself
Hans von Hozel's Don Cobb
Balrog
Lasercat
Kim Jong Il and Un
Jesus
Hitler
George W. Bush
Optimus Prime as Prius and/or Smart Car
Homeless Pony from FIMB
Arnold Shwarzeneggar
Captain Falcon
Ash
Herman Melville's Barleby
Power Rangers
Tom Nook
Resetti
Slippy Toad
Peppy Hare
Granny Smith as Batpony
M.Night Shyamalan
Tom Hanks
Dr. Octagonopus
Willy Wonka
Master Cheif
Howie Mandell
Musical Seafood
The Lions and Tigers from Kenya
Osama bin Laden
Rageyiki the Monkey
GlaDOS
"Dis gon b good" Guy
Aliens Guy
Tinky Winky
The Entire State of Wyoming
A Duck
A Lemonade Stand
A Man Running the Stand
Grapes
Robert Downey Jr.
Cat Face
Aquaman
Whales
John Mapes
Ian Grom
Jackie Chan
Chuck Norris
Mr. Miagi
Flash Gordon
Thomas Jefferson
Dumbledore
Sylvester Stallone
A Ti-89 Calculator
Narwhals
Bacon
Ephixa
Stephen Walking
Deadmau5
Stephen Walking's Beard
Michael Jackson
Most Interesting Man in the World
Chicken Little
Geico Spokesperson
Geico Gecko
Brazil
Charlie the Unicorn
Ryu
Link
Every Champion in LoL
Navi and Tatl
Captain Picard
Yoda
Skippy the Rock
An Airbender
King Kazuma
L
Light
Ai (Hell Girl)
Opera

Oho!
Oho!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean,
floating by beautiful women.
[repeat]

Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!

I've always hated mushroom soup - and noodles, they're just wrong. (Hot sauce?)
I don't go on the Internet, it always takes too long,
I don't like using cell phones 'cos they never work at all,
And I hate Zip drives and CD-ROMs, they're worth about fuck-all.
But...

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean,
floating by beautiful women.
[repeat]

Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
(Ta ta ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta ta!)

I never want a tattoo, of Pino on my thigh, [1]
And trivia with the neighbours? That can go bye-bye.
I don't want widescreen TV, I think I'll let it pass,
A VCR that does the dishes? Stick it up your --

Unh!

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean
floating by beautiful women (repeat)

[spoken] No! I don't want any stamps,
I don't want to march across the field,
And I don't want to talk to the driver during the trip!
I don't want a free trial of your electronics,
I don't want to go home, I just want one thing!

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean,
floating by beautiful women (repeat)

Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
(Ta ta ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta ta!)
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
(Ta ta ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta ta!)

A blow-up crocodile!

-

Notes:
[1] Pino is the Dutch version of Big Bird - he's blue and, apparently, the cousin of the American version.

Thanks Tedious for this catchy yet accurate translation!

***Translation from Eminem81@hotmail.com***

Oh hoh, oh hoh,
Oh hoh, lala lalala lalalala la
Oh hoh, lala lalala lalalala la

Do you kow what I want? An Inflated Crocodile.
To float in the sea, between the sweet babes.
Do you kow what I want? An Inflated Crocodile.
To float in the sea, between the sweet babes.
Oh hoh, lala lalala lalalala la
Oh hoh, lala lalala lalalala la

I don't like mushroom soup or babibabibam (I don't understand this one, must be made up).
Why do I have to go on internet? That takes me much to long.
what do I want with a mobile phone, that thing is always broken.
And a zip drive with a CD-rom, I don't care about that for no fuck.

Do you kow what I want? An Inflated Crocodile.
To float in the sea, between the sweet babes.
Do you kow what I want? An Inflated Crocodile.
To float in the sea, between the sweet babes.
Oh hoh, lala lalala lalalala la
Oh hoh, lala lalala lalalala la

I don't want a tatoe, from Pino on my side.
and a triviante from the neighbours, that's not my style.
I don't want a widescreen TV, it's just so you know.
No video that does the laundry, just put in in your *honk*.

Do you kow what I want? An Inflated Crocodile.
To float in the sea, between the sweet babes.
Do you kow what I want? An Inflated Crocodile.
To float in the sea, between the sweet babes.

No I don't want stamps, and I don't want to walk on the grass.
And I certenly don't want to make deposit disorder.
I don't wanna go home, I just want one thing!

Do you kow what I want? An Inflated Crocodile.
To float in the sea, between the sweet babes.
Do you kow what I want? An Inflated Crocodile.
To float in the sea, between the sweet babes.
Oh hoh, lala lalala lalalala la
Oh hoh, lala lalala lalalala la
Oh hoh, Inflated Crocodile.

-

Thanks to Eminem81@hotmail.com - BunnyRabbit

***Literal translation from speedy_panda***

Oho!
Oho!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!

Refrain:

Ah I want
an inflated crocodile
to float in the sea
between the chicks
(2X)

Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!

I don't like mushroom soup or bami bami bang...
Sambal on the side?
Why go on the Internet, it takes far too long,
Why have a cell phone? That thing is always broken,
And a Zippie drive with CD-ROM, it doesn't do me a fuck.
But...

Refrain...

Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Tettetetettet, tettettettettet!

I don't want a tattoo of Big Bird on my thigh...
a trivia with the neighbours, nah no thats nothing for me.
I don't want widescreen TV, its nothing for me,
And no TV that does the laundry, put it up your... Huh?

Refrain...

NO, I don't want stamps,
I don't want to walk on the grass,
And i certainly dont want to talk to the driver,
I don't want a free sample of electronics,
I don't want to go home, I only want one thing!

Refrain...

Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Tettetetettet, tettettettettet!
Oho!
La la la la la, la la la la la!
Tettetetettet, tettettettettet!

Inflated Crocodile!

To you too.