Monsters & Mortals

by APStories

Hunt For The Egg Of Pokémon GO

Author's Note:

This chapter is based on an SMG4 episode with a similar name, Mushrooms & Morons: Hunt For The Egg Of Draconius GO. I remembered to stay faithful to the source material, and I think the result is pretty humorous!

At a bar, Wolf O'Donnell, Lucario, and Meta Knight were getting drunk, with Wolf about to pass out. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, which snapped Wolf awake as he fell to the ground. "Huh? Who that?", Wolf slurred. Sonic the Hedgehog walked inside. "Oh, thank God. It's just you."

"Hey, Wolf", Sonic replied as he propped Wolf up using his right arm. His other arm had a tablet. "You okay?"

"I'm drunk, but I'll manage", Wolf responded as he regained his strength. He saw the tablet. "Hey, Lucario. I think this tablet has something about you." The Aura Pokémon took the tablet. "It looks like a crappy version of the iPad."

"Let me see that", Lucario said as he took the tablet. "Hmmm... Wi-Fi's low."

Outside, there was better reception. "Do you want to be the sexiest of them all? Own the most murderous beast in the universe? Then find the legendary Pokémon GO egg or forever be a scrub", the tablet said via video.

"Okay... where is it?", Sonic asked. Wolf took the tablet.

"It's that way", Wolf answered, pointing east.

"Alright!", Sonic said. It took a day, but the foursome made it to a cave.

"It's past the cave", Wolf said, holding the tablet. "Doesn't seem too bad..."

"How about that murderous troll that's guarding the entrance?", Meta Knight asked.

"Looks like we're in for a fight", Sonic said, wielding his battle axe.

"Or we can sneak past him", Lucario recommended.

IN REALITY...

"Okay, stealth it is", Sunset said. "You have to roll a 13 or higher to succeed." Wolf rolled an 18.

IN THE GAME WORLD...

Wolf tiptoed past the troll.

IN REALITY...

Meta Knight rolled a 20.

IN THE GAME WORLD...

Meta Knight transformed into a rock and rolled past the troll... which strangely worked.

IN REALITY...

Lucario rolled a 13.

IN THE GAME WORLD...

The troll must've been stupid or something, because when Lucario disguised himself as a plant, he managed to fool the troll.

IN REALITY...

Sonic rolled a 1.

IN THE GAME WORLD...

Sonic stepped on a land mine, which exploded and caught the attention of the troll. "Aw, hell, nah!", Lucario said. He cast a seduce spell on the troll, which made it fall in love... with a cactus. The result? The troll's pingas got pricked.

In the cave, bioluminescence lit the way. "Uh... where the hell do we go now?", Meta Knight asked.

"Guys, we have a problem", Wolf said. "We have no signal!"

"Give me that!", Lucario said, grabbing the tablet. "There's gotta be something we can use! Oh, here we go! We can summon an altar to teleport us out of here!"

"Nope! I ain't doing that shit!", Meta Knight said. "I ain't holding your hand even if that altar will get us out of here!" Meta Knight had no choice, though. Suddenly, small beings made of light began circling the heroes.

"Great Thunderbugs!", Wolf said, readying his bow and arrows. Sure enough, these were small but vicious creatures known as Great Thunderbugs. Great Thunderbugs are also known to change into two different colors: blue and reddish-white. When in their normal and docile state, they are blue, but when attempting to attack, the blue hue becomes a fierce, glowing reddish-white; if they strike a hunter in this state they will cause notable damage. Eyewitness reports also claim that some Elder Dragons are hosts to them, providing a safe environment in which to mature. A famous example of this is the Yama Tsukami. However, the Great Thunderbugs released by Yama Tsukami are unique in that they can explode. Unfortunately, that's exactly what kind of Great Thunderbug these ones were.

"Water guns!", Sonic said. He and Wolf took out water guns and sprayed the monsters, causing them to explode. However, some Great Thunderbugs began exploding near Wolf, paralyzing him. Sonic, however, managed to destroy them.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Maybe you should calm down!", a Great Thunderbug said.

"Maybe you should 🎵 shut the fuck up! 🎵", Sonic replied as he destroyed the Great Thunderbug that spoke to him. Lucario and Meta Knight finished the spell and summoned the altar. Meta Knight cast a spell, and the foursome went into the altar.

Unfortunately, Meta Knight sent them to an entirely different plane of existence. Additionally, an Elder Dragon was awoken by their arrival: Yama Tsukami. Yama Tsukami is an unusual Elder Dragon with an octopus-like body. It is covered in moss, algae, and other plant life, and boasts a set of four thick tentacles. In addition, it possesses two large whiskers and an oddly human-like set of teeth and gums. It produces gas within its body in order to keep itself afloat. Its classification as an Elder Dragon is simply due to the fact that it does not fit into any category, much like the Kirin. This mysterious creature's place in relation to other monsters is completely unknown.

"Die...", the Yama Tsukami bellowed as its four giant tentacles emerged from the ground and hundreds of Great Thunderbugs began honing in on the foursome.

"There's too many of them!", Sonic said.

"Guys, up there! The exit!", Wolf said as he pointed towards the sky. Sure enough, there was a portal.

"Don't worry! I have an idea!", Lucario said as he cast a spell, summoning a giant firecracker. Meta Knight lit it, and the four heroes hopped on. However, the weight of four Super Smash Bros. Ultimate fighters was too much.

IN REALITY...

"Fuck this!", Wolf said as he rolled a 20. "I flap my arms so I can fly!"

"Seriously? You think that's gonna work?", Sunset asked.

"Yes!", Wolf answered.

IN THE GAME WORLD...

"Time to fly!", Wolf said as he flapped his arms, causing the firecracker to fly through the portal.

The foursome landed on the ground hard as they fell out of the other end of the portal. Sonic grabbed the tablet and it said the egg was nearby. He summoned a shovel and dug into the ground, finding the egg. It then hatched, and a Legendary Pokémon emerged: Kyurem.

IN REALITY...

"Congratulations! You found the egg!", Sunset said.