Now, look, I get it.

Forgotten Friendship kicked all of the ass, and everyone's vomiting tastefully submitting 1.5Kword fics about our latest shut-in waifu as quickly as they can. Trust me, it's all I can do to not join the fawning herd along with you.

But I gotta be me.

And to that end, allow me to paint a picture, involving another option.

That being the best story on the site just dropped 69 minutes ago

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